April 4, 1968...A shot rings out in the Memphis sky.On the second floor balcony of the Lorraine Motel, Martin Luther King, Jr. lay dying.
Assassinated by the hate and the rifle of James Earl Ray and Ray’s co-conspirator, Raoul*
Eh, he’s probably better off dead…
In this era of the 24 Hour news cycle, 8,000 cable networks, TMZ, and feigned moral outrage, King would be toast…more specifically, MLKtoast.
The good Reverend had too many skeletons in his closet to be effective as a leader in these times of public uber-scrutiny.
King’s improprieties would be exposed on a nightly basis by the likes of such journalistic giants as O’Reilly, Hannity, and Olberman.
Let me tell you…Much like FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover who kept tabs upon him, King was a big fan of pleasures of the flesh.
However, unlike Hoover, King enjoyed bangin’ the babes rather than dressing up in panty hose and hi-heels and being spanked by a well hung G-Man.
King’s sexcapades would be all over the cable outlets and streaming live on the internets.
He would be branded as a sexed-up charlatan, a man of questionable finances, and a demagogic preacher.
But of course, the major black mark against him would be the sex.
Americans become outraged because hot, immoral sex is in violation of the word of Gawd, and because they’re jealous that they aren’t getting any.
King wasn’t merely a hooker hugging Governor, or a toe tappin’ U.S. Senator. This man was a sexual juggernaut.
Screw the Nobel Peace Prize, King should have been awarded the Nobel Piece Prize!!
When King spoke about “goin’ to the mountain top” or the “solid rock of brotherhood” he wasn’t talk about justice my friends.
Hell, even though he preached that all men are created equal, King knew that some men were more equal than others.
And the brother took full advantage. I salute you Dr. King.
I for one, am glad King went out on top…for two reasons.
If he were around today and was branded as a sexed up preacher man who needed money for his cause, that would make him just another Pastor Rod Parsley or T.D. Jakes.
The other reason?
If I can take innuendo and rumor and turn it into a scathing report on MLK’s character, can you imagine what Bill O’Reilly and his ilk could do to him?
I am outta here later this morning. Enjoy your Friday and your weekend all.
Cheers!!
*Raoul was James Earl Ray’s imaginary friend who was everything that Ray wasn’t. Namely, smart, well-spoken, and bathed regularly.
64 comments:
I had no idea he was one of
............those kind of men.
I still have no idea!
Have a wonderful weekend Matt-Man.
Smiles,
Kimmie
I am outraged! And not because of King's violations of GAWD, but because, like you said, I'm not gettin' and hot, immoral sex!
This isn't about King, this is about ME damn it!
Micky: Wilt Chamberlain had nothing on MLK. Cheers!!
Kimmie: You do the same. Cheers!!
Dana: Well come on over and I'll make you Free at Last!! Cheers Dana!!
Ooh ooh ooh, tread lightly brother or they shall rain down upon ye from the land of Oz. None to sacred eh? I like it. While I'm reading your post, you have a way of making me think, Oh no he didn't... and then, ha ha ha yes he did! Good job.
Lu: Ha. Thanks Lu. I do like working on and utilizing a little comedic misdirection. Cheers!!
I bet Raoul was behind the whole thing! It wasn't James' fault at all.
Enjoy your weekend! And I bet you're one of those that are more equal, aren't you?
"Because they're not getting any."
I'd rather see him dress up in a nice lacy number though to tell you the truth, I hear he had grea legs Matt-Man! ;)
Cheers to you and have a great weekend!
xxoo
RLL: That is what Ray claimed. More equal? I dunno about that, but I am mo' better. Cheers!!
Deb: Ha. Who'd a thunk it. Cheers and a good weekend to you Deb!!
Your absolutely right! Best he went on top, than ran threw todays hamburger news grinder.
JFK would have the same fate to, in todays news monster.
Have a great weekend man!!
Ok, I am going to ask the naive question; was he really an adulterer? I had no idea.
OMG Matt-Man. Where would I be today without your knowledgeable and educational posts? That was better than four semesters of American History any day of the week (which I'm still trying to figure out why I had to take it seeing as how I live in CANADA??? Guess the skool board fucked up).
Loved it - and Raoul says he takes NO responsibility for MLK's shooting - he was busy trying to get busy with MLK's imaginary friend Laticia.
Hey - even imaginary friends need hot immoral sex once in awhile.
SMOOCHES.
...little known but twue, so twue...intersting take on the subject, Matt-Man...and you're right, so right...
Roger: You are indeed correct. I was thiking of JFK as well when I wrote this. Have a good weekend. Cheers!!
Abs: Several sources, some close to MLK, say he was a bit of a womanizer. Cheers!!
Angell: Ha. I like the imaginary sex theory you have. It strikes so close to home. Cheers!!
Phfrankie: Thanks. It is actually kinda sad that today, there are good people who can't or won't step up to serve because of things they have done in their past. Cheers!!
It's a shame what our world has come to...when a guy can't get a little without being ridiculed much less forced from office!!!! Tsk.Tsk.
Peace
Odat: I couldn't agree more. But the media and "moral" nose-marys can't mind their biz and let people help the world out. Cheers!!
MLKtoast--- you are surely going to hell! lol
Have you ever visited the Lorraine Motel in Memphis and seen the room he stayed in? It's a very somer and eeire experience... and I saw a condom under the bed!
Cheesy: Ha. I was quite amused by MLKtoast myself. A condom huh? It didn't keep him safe. Cheers!!
Thanks to the media, no one can have a good time any more. It's a cryin' shame. I tell you if Anderson Cooper comes snooping around my town trying to find dirt, I'm gonna give that man a piece of my ass! Er, mind. Yeah. Anyway, have a good weekend Matt!
I'm unaware of the allegations you make against M.L.K. and would be interested in just where you obtained your source materials.
He is one of my heroes and it is a bit disturbing to see a post of this nature.
Funny is funny, but...
Americans' obsession with illicit sex is a defining eccentricity, one with which I cannot relate. I mean, it's not as if the man was my parish priest, homilizing about how to live the moral life. He was "preaching" about civil rights.
Winter: I bet you would give him a piece of your ass...er...mind. Cheers!!
Dirk: Seriously? Rumors have been around as long as King. And alluded to by people such as Ralph Abernathy, a civil rights activist who was close to King.
Songbird: You are correct. If we want "moral perfection" in a person in all things. We are so screwed. Cheers!!
Hmmm, you taught me things here I just didn't know. And here I thought he was ... moral or something.
And yea, I'm jealous, too. I haven't had any hot immoral sex since I was married to my last husband and seeing my present husband! OOPS! TMI.
Have a great weekend!
Bina: I'm not saying he wasn't. That is not for me to judge.
As for the TMI? I'd prefer to have more gratuitous details. Have a great weekend too. Cheers!!
I'll buy the first round of drinks in hell Matt...we can drink to, and with, MLK. ;-)
have a wonderful weekend!
Tug: The only way I am going to Hell is if my Angelic Wings fall off. I'll take you up on the drink though. Have a wunnerful weekend, Tug. Cheers!!
For MLK day in January, some guy at work was going to talk. He was actually at the 'I have a Dream' speech in person and was given the paper copy of the speech after he was done. What are the odds of that? That would be like me actually liking a presidential candidate...
I wonder how many other MLK's there are out there that won't dare step into the public spotlight because they have a "questionable act" in their past.
Funny thing is, I'll bet 99.9% of the stone throwers are guilty of their own dip into deviance.
Duct tape will only hold them on for so long my friend...
VE: Wow. That's pretty cool. You work with Forrest Gump. You don't like any of the candidates? I am SHOCKED!! Cheers!!
Jeff: Indeed. Why bother trying when people care more about your personal life? It sucks. Cheers Jeff!!
Tug: Now that was just plain hurtful. Cheers!!
No, no hurt...the devil's a lot more fun to play with. The angel wings live in the heart where they can't fall off.
.
.
.
.
better?
Tug: Okay. I guess. Cheers!!
not only could I never run for public office..I wouldn't want to be married to someone running for office...wouldn't want my entire life under a reporter's maginifying glass, and plastered all over the media.
which is a shame actually...'cause I would be really good at running the world...
nose-mary?
Kat: I am sure you would be good at it, and yet the public magnifying glass justifiably shies you and others away from it.
Nosemary: A word we use to describe nosy people. Cheers Kat!!
We ALL are sinners and WE all need and want a good piece of ass once in awhile! Except Hillary. I don't see her having sex at all, not even with her own hand.
Oh and speaking of that. I was looking at my hands last night and I swear that my middle finger on my right hand is crooked. Yep. seriously. **giggles**
Jahooni: Yes we are all sinners, and I for one, am damn happy about that. I'll help ya straighten that finger out. Cheers!!
I never really thought about it before but now that you mention it.. I would do him. It's all for a peaceful equal nation right? I'll do my part.
MLKtoast....omg Matt, I bow to you!
You are right, today he'd be vilified. Much like JFK. Or RFK if folks knew HE ok'd the wire tapping and bugging of MLK.
This country has an sick obsession with sex. Specifically sex OTHER people are having. Then again, we were founded up up tight Puritans. I am not sure what turns them on more. The taudry details or their moral outrage.
Ok see what happens when I type and talk on the phone? "up up"...wtf?
That should read founded BY uptight Puritans. In their defence they could probably spell :P
I vote that we all do something highly immoral, bordering on illegal, to commemorate MLK's death.
You first Matt-Man. ;)
Actually your post makes me wonder if there is any chance at all that Barack Obama could be elected leader of the free world...something inside me thinks "it ain't gonna happen". I have a feeling there is much diggin' going on over at the RNC.
Have a great weekend!!
HUGS!!
That is certainly a different take on MLK....
Have a great weekend Matty
have you chosen a running mate matt?
if you were to choose Katherine (who I would endorse) would my background be exposed (since I endorse her)?
have a good weekend....
Since they're honoring the 40th anniversary oh King's murder I guess all the rednecks here will have their Confederate flags out again today just like they do on MLK day in January.
MLKtoast = classic bagwine!
Oh, and it's always good to go out on top!
I really really enjoy violating the word of gawd.
I hope all imaginary friends aren't opposites of the person doing the imagining, because mine is awsome.
This is brilliant AND funny Matty although it seems to be going over some folks heads.
Good on ya!
hey-----wait a minute--where's mah pimpage???
Can we role play? You be Raoul and accost me with your tongue!
Knight: Giving yourself up for equality is very noble. Bless You. Cheers!!
MLK: Ha. Thanks. We were up tight Puritans? ; ) Cheers Starr!!
Offended: I will only go first if you help me. Cheers!!
Leelee: I understand that. But the RNC would be joined by plenty of run of the mill bigots. Cheers!!
Doc: Well it was more about our culture and society more than MLK. Cheers!!
Teamster: If I chose Kat. I am afraid you would need to be rubbed out in order to contain the damage that you could cause. Cheers!!
Jay: 140 some year slater and some folks still can't get over the war and move on. Cheers Jay!!
MO: Ha. Thanks and you picked up on the "on top" remark. Cheers Mo!!
GB: Yes it is. Can I join you? Cheers!!
Marilyn: Ha. You are too funny. Cheers!!
TB: Thanks and yes I see that. Your pimpage? I do that on Sunday mornings dear. Cheers!!
Leighann: I love you. Now prepare for your tongue lashing. Cheers!!
I'm ready! I'm ready!
Leighann: : )~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cheers!!
LMAO!
What is : )~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
???
Are you drooling? Hahaha!!
Offended: Ha. No it's my tongue. I am quite Gene Simmons-Like in that area of my body. Cheers!!
You are a hoot Matt-Man. I love your twist on this. It was indeed a different time, but things haven't changed all that much has it? Nope, not much. Dr. King was a great man. Period. Have a great weekend too. :)
Sandee: Why thank ya Sandee. And yes he was. Have a good one yourself. Cheers!!
Perhaps we need a new message, such as...
When we are all free to get a piece, then shall we have freedom and peace.
Travis: I shall say just that when I meet Cheryl Burke. Cheers!!
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