As I am working 11 A.M. ‘til 9 P.M. today and 11 A.M. ‘til 7 P.M. tomorrow, let us examine some of the phrases that I am likely to hear working the beer mine, drive-thru.Keep in mind…we sell beer, some wine, pop, smokes, and we have a few types of chips/snacks.
I mean, the name itself, The Beverage Depot, kinda sums up what we offer.
However, I am likely to hear the following (based on the fact that I have heard the following previously) and I shall let you know what I would like to say, if I wasn’t such a nice guy.
I am sure that I will be asked if I have hamburger buns? Upon telling the person no, he/she will ask if I have any types of bread.
What I really would like to say is, “Well hold on while I walk over to the bakery section of this establishment.”
Last night, a lady said that she wanted a quart of chocolate milk. I told her that we don’t carry that.
She asked, “Do you have white milk?” I told her no, and before I could finish, she asked if we had strawberry milk?
I wanted to say…“Yes we do. We like to buck the trend of every other frickin’ store in the world and carry only strawberry milk.” Oy Vay.
Of course that moo juice request was topped only by a lady who was upset with me because we didn’t carry buttermilk.
Now a few people will try to negotiate the price. One lady once ordered a Pepsi. I told her that that would be $1.49. She then said that it was only $1.19 down the street.
I said, “Sorry.” She then stared me down and asked, “Sooooo, is it still $1.49 here?” I wanted to say…
“Nope, it’s now $2.49 because ya went and pissed me off.”
We sell a kids drink called Big Hug juice. I’m sure I will hear this yet again...
I wanted to say…“Yes we do. We like to buck the trend of every other frickin’ store in the world and carry only strawberry milk.” Oy Vay.
Of course that moo juice request was topped only by a lady who was upset with me because we didn’t carry buttermilk.
Now a few people will try to negotiate the price. One lady once ordered a Pepsi. I told her that that would be $1.49. She then said that it was only $1.19 down the street.
I said, “Sorry.” She then stared me down and asked, “Sooooo, is it still $1.49 here?” I wanted to say…
“Nope, it’s now $2.49 because ya went and pissed me off.”
We sell a kids drink called Big Hug juice. I’m sure I will hear this yet again...
“What kind of Hug juice do you have?” I will respond, “We have red, blue, and orange.” And what will I hear?
“Do you have purple?” Ugh. Maybe if I mix the red and the blue lady!!
If I come across one more person having a nervous breakdown because we don’t have pomegranate/cinnamon Life Water and fail to carry head cheese, I’m going to scream.
Now don’t get me wrong, ninety-nine percent of our customers are great. And, oddly enough, I like working there. And besides the customers here’s why…
Yesterday, Schmoop went to the Drive-Thru to get beer before I went to work.
“Do you have purple?” Ugh. Maybe if I mix the red and the blue lady!!
If I come across one more person having a nervous breakdown because we don’t have pomegranate/cinnamon Life Water and fail to carry head cheese, I’m going to scream.
Now don’t get me wrong, ninety-nine percent of our customers are great. And, oddly enough, I like working there. And besides the customers here’s why…
Yesterday, Schmoop went to the Drive-Thru to get beer before I went to work.
The owner/my boss was there, and when he saw Schmoop, and knowing her and I were off Thursday, he had a question for her…
He asked Schmoop, “Is it sore?”
He asked Schmoop, “Is it sore?”
Ha. How can you not like working for a guy who asks your girlfriend that?
Have a wonderful Saturday, all.
Cheers!!
22 comments:
John Q. Public and Jane S. Doe make life incredibly facinating. And I think the insulation of being encapsulated in one's car let's the craziness shine at drive-thru's.
Cheers
But...Dude! Milk is a beverage, ain't it?
Yep, what SSNick said. Now if where you worked was called: The Not So Healthy Beaverage Depot, that would be different.
What was her answer, "We're talking calloused!"
David: You are correct. For some it is the only time that they interact with other human brings. Cheers David!!
Nick: Not in my world. It merely is something that takes away space in the fridge for more beer. Cheers Nick!!
Lu: Some folks come through with the thought that we are a grocery store. Ai Yi Yi. Cheers Lu!!
The real questions are do you have wine in a bottle sealed with a cork, and a cigar without a plastic tip on the end??
Screw the strawberry milk!!
Dana: No on the corks; yes on the cigars, and I agree on the milk.
This response brought to you by Matt's Matter-of-Fact side. Cheers Dana!!
Let me roll my wee black trucks' window down.....
"Hey mister! Do you have Vanilla soy milk and a 12 pack of condoms??"
Cheesy: We have no Soy Milk, ma'am, and no condoms, but I would be more than happy to demonstrate how both could be used bewteen you and I. Cheers Cheesy!!
OMG HUG Juice?
that HAS to be my new signature drink...
HUGS!!
Hug juice huh? I wonder if they would ever consider a new line, something a little stronger for the parents...maybe call it "DO NOT make me come over there" malted juice beverage.
So, do you have any yogurt? Waddya mean you don't carry yogurt?! What the hell?!?!?!?! Well, so do you have any yogurt drinks?
*blink, blink*
Leelee: Ha. I never thought of that. It has you written all over it. Cheers Cutie!!
Hope: Ha. Good One. Or perhaps, "Because I Said So Sangria". Cheers Hope!!
Songbird: There are quite a few cultures that flow in and out of there, but no yogurt. Cheers Dear!!
sorta like the bartender reacted when ADR and I asked him if he carried Wild Irish Rose...
smile.
I can't imagine anybody actually wanting to drink buttermilk, but then milk was never my favorite beverage anyway.
I have customers who start trying to negotiate my price down before they even hear it. I have the best prices in town. When they do that, I add some extra labor. I know working with them is going to be harder and everything will take longer.
Hmmmm...I'm guessing it would be a no on the Chai Latte then? How about a triple half-caf skinny carmel machiato? No?
Well, hell. Gimme a case of that corkscrew capped wine then.
Has anyone asked for Ting?
I thought WIR was 'hug' juice ;-)
...I like head cheese...
she might not be sore, but I sure am.
ROFL! Your boss owns. Mine's pretty cool. She got a glimpse of my Rob wallpaper on my work computer and went "oh we can take a break a for a minute, don't open excel yet!"
Good taste!
Wouldn't it be great if you could just hand people their stoopid signs along with their bags of goods and change?
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