Sunday Morning Church Disservice: Yo Bitch? How 'Bout Some Java!?

Okay...It's gonna be a cold day in Bagwine, but one thing for sure...I am cleaned out!!

I'm in charge of the beer mine from 11-7 today, but hooten-annie, my prostate is cleeeeean!! Thanks Schmoop!!

Anyhoo...

My damn near actual brother, David, gave me four "Cabbie Hats" that used to belong to his and Schmoop's, Uncle Bill.

I thought I'd try them on for you...Here's the first one...

Tres Chic, No?

How about this one?

This one has a bit of a stain on it...Sums up my life, don't you think?


Lastly, let's go all herringbone, plaid on folks...



And now our last item of business on this Sabbath before Lent.

A “friend” of mine, Sherri…

Or as some of you may know her as, my teenage era boot knockin’ buddy, who I once upon a time would have eaten hot death for, came through the Drive-Thru the other day.

She flashed her girly smile, ordered a Diet-Dew, and then made a promise to meet me for coffee on Friday.

It was an empty promise.

As...it…always…is…

She has done the same thing on numerous occasions. Throws out the bait and then reels it in without me getting a piece…so to speak.

Hell, I bought her breakfast last summer...I mean, not that I minded, I was tryin for a little sumpin, sumpin but you know...

I am asking you guys who read me, and granted it’s not many on a Sunday, to email her and tell Sherri to throw me a frickin’ Bagwine Bone.

Tell her that it’s just not right to leave me hangin’ like that. Tell her this:

“Damn It, Sherri…Buy Matty a frickin’ cup of coffee, would ya, and maybe he’ll shut the hell up.”

Do this for me, and you will be eternally blessed.

You can email her at: sherrihere1@aim.com

And don’t worry…I got prior approval to use her email, so it’s okay. She just didn’t know why.

Amen, and Amen.

Don’t let me down kids. She doesn’t have a blog so, email your thoughts on my behalf. Please.

And one other thing...If Sherri doesn't buy me coffee soon, and if you don't email her, I promise to play this hideous song every week until she comes through...

Oh Dear God, the Humanity!! Is that incentive enough to email her, or what!?

With that said…I am working in the cold on Sunday from 11-7 and then going to see my precocious 14 year old.

I hope your Sunday is much more fun than mine…And I hope somebody gives you coffee.

Cheers!