Okay, he demanded a theme song. Is that such a big request!!?
Hey Kids…Dave Here, now dig it...Remember when it use to be that a phone in Mom and Dad’s house used to be the following…
It was a black or perhaps, avocado, bank-safe rotary dial phone on the wall?
And, it was the only phone that you had access to? Remember that?
Damn right, it was a 12 inch by 4 inch, Al Gore “lock box” with a 4 foot cord that could withstand time, nuclear war, and several remakes of Rambo, type of phone.
They were built to last….
What the fuck is going on now!?
People have 2 to 3 phones in the house. A phone in the garage…and a phone in the car, and in their hand!!
And let me tell you about this…The CELL Phone.
I pull up to a traffic light, or the grocery store, or in my wildest dreams, in their coffin, and I can‘t tell who's talkin’ to who.…
I can walk up to a Micky D’s counter, and I don’t know if some chick ahead of me is saying, “Three Big Macs and a side of fries.” or “Did my Dad just die …and if so, what did he leave my uncaring ass?”
And then…Dig it…I’m sitting at a light and some Dickwad is jabbering on his phone when the green arrow lights up.
Can we all turn!? Of course not. Why?Because Dickwad is jabbering on the phone with his wife, daughter, and/or mistress about how Johnny just went pee pee in the corner, and depending on his age and status, that is either good or bad.
Seriously…Who the fuck are you talking to that is soooo important?
Classroom? Do you now the answer?
Of course you don’t. You know why? Because you have the fucking phone shoved to your ear!!
In my classroom, YOU FAIL!!
Instead of an “F”, how about I give those who talk on their phones in inconvenient places a big ol’…
Shut the Fuck Up!!? You have nothing to say!!
I’m done for now…
Dig It,
Dave
27 comments:
I think people caught driving while talking on a cellphone should be sentenced to having one shoved up their asshole for 30 days.
I don't even own a cellphone. I'm so damn cool.
Seems like we can't go anywhere these days without having to listen to some idiot's conversation.
I think Hammer may be onto something there.
I am addicted to my iphone - even worse the regular cell phone, I am sure.
And you made me picture my kitchen growing up. It was avocado everything - phone, fridge, stove, dishwasher, toaster...who decided that was a wonderful home decor color?
Hammer: That's not a bad idea. And we could have someone call it every two minutes. Cheers!!
Jay: Dave and I are almost as cool as you. Neither of us have one. I say almost as cool, because neither of us have a Viking helmet. Cheers!!
Jeff: You're right. Almost NEVER is the conversation important. Cheers!!
Karen: Ha. We had one too. Back then it was a contest between white, avacado and harvest gold. Cheers Karen!!
You call that a picture of cleavage?
Fantasy: It's not very good, is it. But her right tit does looks fairly edible. Cheers Meg!!
The blue tooth gizmo is what gets me... used to be you could tell the crazies on the street because they walked around talking to the voices in their heads... now everyone talks to the "voice" in their ear...
Cheesy: Ha. I still chuckle when I see a person walking around with one. Cheers Gimp!!
My Babygirl works in a market where the clientele is pretentious. She will not ring them out, not one item until they are finished their bidniz on the phone. Now when she says "paper or plastic" they hear her and answer.
Metal: If someone is on their phone when they pull in where we work, we say, "Next"...as it should be. Cheers!!
...hearing that spectacular tune made me remember why I am glad to be still alive...I kid you not...
I think being inaccessible by phone to everyone but your family is probably the coolest thing the world.
Phfrankie: Oh Dear God...Not You Too? David loooooves that song. You two should party together. Cheers!!
Kanani: Yeah, well, I think more often than not, cell phone usage and the communications over them, are mindless self-impotance. Cheers!!
Dianne: He became a drug dealer, didn't he? Cheers Sexy!!
The only people who have my cell number and use it are my family and my BFF.
I hate cell phones. I use mine for two basic purposes. It's my alarm clock and I text my kid when she is at her dads house. That's about it.
Personally I think all this permanent communication is making a world full of narcissistic twits.
Oh and I want a theme song. Help me, Matty Man, you are my only hope.
In no time at all, there will be ghost writers 6 days a week around here.
I need my cell, I use it for business also. I do not have a land-line at the apartment.
Who is guest hosting next week? Rachel, Brad and Tyra????
Blue Tooth reminds me of the Borg.
"Dig it?" David, just how old are you?
PS. Jay is totally the coolest - it is the Viking horns!
I have a cell phone and hubs has a cell phone. We killed the land line. I do not use my cell phone in stores, eateries etc. mainly because I feel so stupid when I do. It is like ooh look at me everyone and I don'like that one bit.
I remember when my family bought the 20' cord and you could actually get the phone out of the kitchen. Ahhh ... those were the days ...
Screw cell phones that have buttons so small I hit two of them with just one finger!
Starr: I started singing loudly next to a lady who was on one in the checkout line the other day. Cheers!!
Bond: I can't help it that people want to be on Bagwine. As for the phone, David isn't knocking legitimate uses. Cheers!!
Desert Rat: He will be 56 in August. He looks better than I do at 44. Cheers Rat!!
Lu: And THAT is exactly why some people do use them in public. To be seen. Cheers!!
Dana: As Cosmo Kramer once pointed out, in the future, you'll just have to think about calling someone and it will happen. Cheers!!
•I must be as cool as Jay because I too do NOT own a cell phone.
•Right On, Lu' for correct cell phone manner (I say that 'cause I can't spell edicut at the moment)
•I still HAVE a black (and a cream) rotary phone - I love them.
•I must admit, I loved the song too - maybe it's just because I'm Phfrankeee's sister; could be.
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