Kevin Miller: The Menacing Mer-Man of Sugarcreek Township, Ohio

Just a few miles south of Bagwine, Ohio in Greene County (Sugarcreek Township to be specific), 41 year old Kevin Lee Miller went on a crime spree.

His crimes against humanity were so diabolical and egregious, that for a week, they had the denizens of that area on the brink of terror whenever they left their house.

Fortunately, late Monday evening, the deleterious Mr. Miller, still dripping in the corpus delicti of his atrocities, was arrested in his home by Sugarcreek Twp. Police.

What were the crimes perpetrated by this flagitious man? He wore a woman’s one piece swimsuit, approached women, and asked them how he looked.

He would pop out of the woods along hiking trails or stand on the river bank and ask hikers or canoeists if he looked good in his swimwear.

Here’s a picture of him being led into the Greene County jail…Do you think he looks hot, or what?

Sometimes…now, brace yourself…he would then jog behind the women from whom he had just requested a fashion critique. I know. I was aghast as well.

Now initial reports indicated that that was all that he did. In fact, here is the initial statement from the police:

“Police said Miller will be charged with five counts of public indecency and three counts of menacing.

At no point did he threaten physical harm, but what he was doing made witnesses very uncomfortable, police said.”

Ha…He was charged with all of that for making some people, “very uncomfortable”?

WTF? Since when is making a person very uncomfortable, a crime? Why were these alleged victims so upset?

Hell, the bastard was covering up more of his body in that swimsuit than he would have if he was wearing a man’s swimsuit.

But by God...Kevin Miller, through expressing his surf’s up, feminine side, is labeled a criminal because it made some…uncomfortable.

America…The whiny, “I don’t care if it is legal; I’m offended”, pussification of our country continues…And it has turned a bathing beauty into a criminal.

Sad…

Of course now, hours after he was already charged, it is being alleged that Miller, “partially exposed” himself to some.

What the hell does that mean? Does that mean one of his fake boobs fell out or perhaps his left ass cheek wanted to say “hi” during his jog?

Were there a couple of loose diamonds bouncing about in that lycra enforced one-piece?

Bullshit. The only thing that this guy did wrong? He made some whiny ass, “I refuse to handle things myself” people feel uncomfortable.

While the guy’s habit is a bit amusing, the fact that he was arrested over it, is not. Not At All.

It’s an irreverent, yet salient demonstration as to how many Americans want to ban, arrest, and/or sue anything and anyone who offends them.

Well have me arrested and sue me, Bitches, because today, I am going to walk around in public wearing this:

Did I just make you, very uncomfortable? Or, did I just make some of you very HOT!?

Cheers!!