Friday, October 16, 2009

Keith Bardwell, Beth Humphrey, and Terence McKay: A Perverted Love Triangle

Good Morning folks…I have finally shaken my typical Thursday Day-Off of Partying hangover and am ready to pour the daily glass of Bagwine for you.

I don’t know if you know this, but today is October 16, 2009. Yes indeed bitches, all across America it is October 16, 2009.

Well, it is if you live anywhere other than in Tangipahoa Parish, Louisiana.

You see in Tangipahoa Parish, Louisiana it seems that Mr. Peabody and Sherman must have taken their Wayback Machine there, had a mechanical breakdown, and the residents of that parish are stuck living in October 16, 1952.

In case you didn’t know, Beth Humphrey and Terence McKay of Hammond, LA., went to see Justice of the Peace, Keith Bardwell in order to obtain a marriage license.

It turns out that justice is hardly blind, in fact in Bardwell’s case, it sees quite clearly and in 1950’s cutting edge Technicolor technology as well.

Keith Bardwell refused to issue the marriage license to Beth Humphrey and Terence McKay because, well…Humphrey is white and McKay is black.

No…I’m not kidding, but I too thought when I saw this story yesterday I was reading it wrong because of an incredibly high blood alcohol concentration, or that perhaps it was an article that originally appeared in The Onion.

Bardwell refused to issue the license because he says that interracial marriages nearly always result in divorce…offspring of theses unions are not accepted by society…and while he claims to not be a racist, he goes on to say:

“I just don’t believe in mixing the races that way.” Bardwell further defended his claim of not being a racist by stating:

"I have piles and piles of black friends. They come to my home, I marry them, they use my bathroom.”

How sweet…how touching, indeed…how human of him.

I am not some Pollyannaish dullard who thinks idiotic, long-held beliefs aren’t still alive and well among the many diverse cultures that populate this great nation, but for the love of Amos ’n’ Andy, I didn’t think an asshole like Bardwell would, in 2009, be free to act on upon those beliefs while in public office.

This wasn’t the first time that Bardwell has done this, and yet only now is his perversion of law and decency coming to light. Unbelievable.

I hope this guy is immediately relieved of his duties, and if he isn’t, our shame should be as great as Bardwell’s.

I may travel down to Tangipahoa Parish, and help Mr. Peabody and Sherman fix their Wayback Machine and bring Hammond, LA. into the 21st Century.

In the meantime, since it’s still 1952 down there, I say we dispense some 1950’s Southern justice onto Bardwell’s ignorant ass.

We can stand him outside of the courthouse and after we kick the shit out of him, we’ll clean up his blood, bruises and humiliation with a half dozen high pressure fire hoses.

I know...It won't change his beliefs, but it would make me feel better.

Cheers!!

36 comments:

Phfrankie Bondo said...

...somehow, this will be defended by some portion of our media (or will it?)...

Matt-Man said...

Phfrankie: How can it be defended? Unless some dumbass says..."He's just thinking of their potential cheeeeldren." Ugh. Cheers P-Man!!

Phfrankie Bondo said...

...I like a good mulatto...

Matt-Man said...

Phfrankie: Ha...You're a mess. Cheers P-Man!!

Michele said...

Okay, are you sure this was legit? Granted I don't live in rural LA, which I'm assuming this is, but holy cow! I guess all we can hope for is that this kind of racism gets enough attention to relieve him of his duties. Sadly, I don't see that happening but a girl can dream.

3 Men and a Lady said...

I saw this on the news. So disgusting. I hope one day that judge finds out he's got ancestors that "mixed up the races" or something.

It amazes me that people in this day can't see past color.

Matt-Man said...

Michele: Oh there's no question that it is a true story, and I guess this asshole has denied three or four other interracial apps in the past. I see a quiet resignation in his future. Cheers Michele!!

Lady: We are all, at some point in our lineage "inter-mixed". He's a dick. And you're right, what's the big deal about color? Or religion...or ethnicity? Ay yi yi...Cheers to ya Mrs. D!!

Micky-T said...

Some things.....

will never go away.

Ever!

Jay said...

Well, as Rush said yesterday, this is just the way things are in "Obama's America." This dude is simply not going to allow those activist judges who struck down miscegenation laws to win out over what's right and good. Or something like that.

I love Louisiana. It makes Arkansas look good. ;-)

Matt-Man said...

Micky: I understand that but things like this shouldn't show up in this day and age in our legal system. Cheers Mick!!

Scott Oglesby said...

I too thought it was a joke when I read that. How the fuck does this guy even have a state job? He let black people use his bathroom? Can you imagine his courage? Who knows what he may have caught. I hear he even allowed an elderly colored lady to have his seat on the bus, what with uppity Mrs. Parks getting into such a huff and all!

This is why I lean on staying in Spain. But I will come back to help you beat his ass into the pavement. Ooh, then we could get Star Jones to sit on his face and pee!

Matt-Man said...

Jay: Much like Rush, this Bardwell asshole is standing on priciple dammit!! Oy.

Ha...A New State Motto:

"Arkansas, Even If You're An Interracial Couple and Not Some Gay Couple, You Can Get Married Here...Unlike in Louisiana."

Yeah, I know...it's a little lengthy. Cheers Funny Man!!

Matt-Man said...

Scott: Ha...I was just calling for fire hoses, but you, you sadistic bastard have invoked the Star Jones Torture.

You moved to Spain because you have always been enomoured with The Inquistion, didn't you? Cheers Scott!!

Lu' said...

I don't know if it is simply the injustice or that coupled with the photos you posted but my eyes are welling with tears...seriously.

Matt-Man said...

Lu: Sorry Lu, but I completely understand. I am not one who suffers from "white guilt", but the images, especially the first is just plain humiliating...the second one is raw violence and hate. Cheers Lu!!

Starrlight said...

I read that article. The best part is the 8k+ mouth breathing fucktards who voted on the MSNBC poll that it's his right to break the laws of his elected office.

Seriously, anyone who believes America is somehow a super special place on earth is fucked in the head and woefully naive. I don't give a flying fuck how noble our Ideals are when our actions suck ass. We are a nation of asshats. End. Of. Story.

Matt-Man said...

Starr: I haven't seen that poll. Interesting.

It's not just this country...it's any country. Assholes know no boundaries, countries, or borders. It's jerks who make this world a sometimes lousy place to live, not a specific religion, descent, or whatever. Cheers Starr!!

Starrlight said...

True but American's just looooove their Jingoism.

Matt-Man said...

Starr: True, America has an over-developed sense of jingoism, but overt discrimination exists everywhere. Cheers STarr!!

VE said...

Nows a good a time as ever to revive stoning...

Matt-Man said...

VE: Ha...I am not who is prone to violence but yeah, I was the "Anti-Bully" when I was in Jr. High and High School, and I just want to get in this puke's face. Cheers VE!!

katherine. said...

It is unconscionable.

What really is difficult to understand is that he has refused to marry mixed race couples for over two years and it hasn't been an issue until now.

I would be willing to bet this is not the only town where this happens. It is disgusting. And bringing it to light will help eliminate it.

It saddens me too that so much of this behavior continues and is acceptable.

and with warm regards to Miz Starr..
Unfortunately many if not most other countries in our world have far more restrictive bans on marriage than this country has ever had. Not just bans on different races marrying.

While the United States may be totally eph-ed up in many ways, I would chose to live here above all others.

Not that other nations have nothing to offer...they do. But for freedom of choice...and the number of choices available to me and mine...the United States is a wonderful place to live.

Matt-Man said...

Kat: I agree with everything you have just said...Holy Cow!! Write this date down. Cheers Kat!!

katherine. said...

I am stunned...shocked and shaken...

Clay Perry said...

i was born and have lived my entire life thirty miles south of atlanta, georgia. i have seen racism from all sides. as a child the greater portion of that time was spent under the watchful eye of black lady that raised all of my siblings as well as me. my mother gave her half her salary for years, until she was too old to care for us, at which time my mother still went each morning before work and picked her up so we could watch her during the day. she taught me the finer points in life and introduced me to the best food that could be made. we have been life long friends with her family and enjoyed many times and meals with them all. when i read stories like this it sickens me.. i think of this woman that i loved dearly, working as hard as she did for all those years, never knowing how to read, or what her birthday or actual age was... then i see someone taking a position based on the color of a persons skin, nothing else.. just a pigment. the soul of this woman i knew as a child was larger than any other i have met since, and in her name i would love to stomp the ever loving shit out of this bastard.

David said...

The narrow-minded bigotry of good ole boys from the south (aka rednecks although redneckism is hardly limited geographically) never ceases to amaze me. And 99 times out of 100 will have a bible quote for the alleged offense.

katherine. said...

It occurs to me...

We should also hold in outrage those who treat a child differently because they are of mix raced patronage.

Many of us know of a fellow blogger who has dealt...and still deals with the hurt this discrimination causes. In the north...in the suburbs of a racially diverse metropolitan internationally known city.

One of US battles this fight today.

Starrlight said...

Well of course there are countries with more bans on marriage than the US. There are also countries with less. My point is that there is the belief that somehow we are God's choosen. And this has led to an atmosphere where a large portion of the country have stopped caring or thinking things are going to change due to the prevailing attitude.

I have no idea if there are better places to live. Never having lived in another country I don't feel comfortable issuing a blanket statement on where I think I'd be happiest.

Bond said...

I read this first thing this morning and sat in shock.

The line about letting his black friends use his bathroom really floored me... and his description "pile and piles", I immediately envisioned a mass grave...

The man needs to be taken out of his position.

Very sad indeed.

Yes Katherine..our blogger friend is a perfect example that this is not just a problem in the deep south

Micky-T said...

You know what's funny to me? How we all care so much about what's going on where we don't live. Used to be your politics and any other concerns were in your home town.
If a town a hundred miles away let people shit in the street, that was up to them, they lived there. If a town 5 miles away let people shit in the streets you could take issue with that because more than likely your everyday buisness might involve that town.

Let me tell you something, there's plenty of places in the world where it's OK to shit in the street and it should be none of our buisness, we don't live there.

You'd be silly to think this story about the judge is something that surprises all of the people who live in that town. Why do *we* have to deal with it?

Honestly, I'm not into changing the world with my opinions, I just want to get along with the world *I* live in.

I'm getting this hair up my butt and I'm getting pissed off!

Matt-Man said...

Kat: I love it when you shake. Cheers Kat!!

Clay: I can't add anything to that, Clay. Thanks for sharing your story. Cheers my good man!!

David: Ha. Your reference to the Bible quote, is nearly always dead on. Cheers David!!

Matt-Man said...

Kat: Of course we should. That has never been a big problem here in Bagwine, but I am sure it is elsewhere. Cheers Kat!!

Starr: Many Americans are happy to live in their self-contained bubbles. Life is easier that way. Cheers Starr!!

Bond: Yeah, the piles and piles line really got me. What an asshole. Cheers Vin!!

Matt-Man said...

Micky: I can't answer for others but as for me, I like ot call out assholes and injustices no matter if they occur in my town or hundreds of miles away. An injustice is an injustice no matter its proximity to me. Cheers Mick!!

Marilyn said...

What an idiot.

Matt-Man said...

Marilyn: Well, it takes all kinds of idiots to populate this earth. Idiots such as this clown included. Cheers to ya!!

Anonymous said...

Here is what they are not telling you. Beth Humphrey went out of her way to request this JOP. She didnt even live in his district. While you might not agree with the JOP, the truth is this whole thing was staged. She wanted the publicity and the money. I See now the real motive is out. MONEY. She has filed suit. This couple and the Balloon couple need to go away together. Seems like everyone wants their 5 minutes of fame and a fat paycheck.