Good Morning folks…I have finally shaken my typical Thursday Day-Off of Partying hangover and am ready to pour the daily glass of Bagwine for you.
I don’t know if you know this, but today is October 16, 2009. Yes indeed bitches, all across America it is October 16, 2009.
Well, it is if you live anywhere other than in Tangipahoa Parish, Louisiana.
You see in Tangipahoa Parish, Louisiana it seems that Mr. Peabody and Sherman must have taken their Wayback Machine there, had a mechanical breakdown, and the residents of that parish are stuck living in October 16, 1952.
In case you didn’t know, Beth Humphrey and Terence McKay of Hammond, LA., went to see Justice of the Peace, Keith Bardwell in order to obtain a marriage license.
It turns out that justice is hardly blind, in fact in Bardwell’s case, it sees quite clearly and in 1950’s cutting edge Technicolor technology as well.
Keith Bardwell refused to issue the marriage license to Beth Humphrey and Terence McKay because, well…Humphrey is white and McKay is black.
No…I’m not kidding, but I too thought when I saw this story yesterday I was reading it wrong because of an incredibly high blood alcohol concentration, or that perhaps it was an article that originally appeared in The Onion.
Bardwell refused to issue the license because he says that interracial marriages nearly always result in divorce…offspring of theses unions are not accepted by society…and while he claims to not be a racist, he goes on to say:
“I just don’t believe in mixing the races that way.” Bardwell further defended his claim of not being a racist by stating:
"I have piles and piles of black friends. They come to my home, I marry them, they use my bathroom.”
How sweet…how touching, indeed…how human of him.
I am not some Pollyannaish dullard who thinks idiotic, long-held beliefs aren’t still alive and well among the many diverse cultures that populate this great nation, but for the love of Amos ’n’ Andy, I didn’t think an asshole like Bardwell would, in 2009, be free to act on upon those beliefs while in public office.
This wasn’t the first time that Bardwell has done this, and yet only now is his perversion of law and decency coming to light. Unbelievable.
I hope this guy is immediately relieved of his duties, and if he isn’t, our shame should be as great as Bardwell’s.
I may travel down to Tangipahoa Parish, and help Mr. Peabody and Sherman fix their Wayback Machine and bring Hammond, LA. into the 21st Century.
In the meantime, since it’s still 1952 down there, I say we dispense some 1950’s Southern justice onto Bardwell’s ignorant ass.
We can stand him outside of the courthouse and after we kick the shit out of him, we’ll clean up his blood, bruises and humiliation with a half dozen high pressure fire hoses.
I know...It won't change his beliefs, but it would make me feel better.