Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Oprah To Interview Sarah Palin On November 16th: Let The Media Super Bull Begin!!

Big News, Kids!!

Sarah Palin is going to appear on the November 16th episode of The Oprah Winfrey Show.

Am I excited? You BETCHA!!

Oh sure, during the 2008 Presidential Campaign there was a bit of a tiff between the two, much of which was created by the media, because as you know…

The media loves a good cat fight, especially between two pigs. But now?

Oprah wants Sarah “Lame and Tall” Palin on for the ratings, and Palin wants to appear with Oprah “Being Richer Than God Does Not Make One Any Less Annoying” Winfrey in order to sell her new book:


Going Rogue: An American Life.

I’m sure that the questions from Oprah will be touchy feely, and the answers given by Palin will be infantile and non-sequitur.

There will be questions revolving around the campaign, life in Alaska, and Palin’s kids, Bristol, Trig, Algebra, Polynomial, and Co-Secant. That’s cool.

I enjoy watching the seediness of two people using each other. In fact, when it’s two women using each other it can be kinda hot. But…

Those two better not get naked. Holy Cow!! Can you imagine Oprah and Sarah getting naked and steamy with each other?

When I think of that unsavory scenario, I am assaulted by the vision of a giant grizzly bear devouring an Alaskan salmon…roe and all.

Hey…if these two human irritants can make money off of each other, God Bless Em’, but my GAWD..!

Can you imagine the 24/7, Wall-to-Wall coverage that will ensue from the media on the days leading up to this titanic event?

And then…AND THEN!!

The post interview analysis will be given by every morning cable “news” show the next morning. Each question and answer will be dissected, bisected, analyzed and over-analyzed to see who “won”.

Oh dear God, my head hurts already…As does my IQ. But, I already know the answer that the Balloon Boy following media will be looking for during their “post-game” analysis.

Oprah and Palin will have BOTH won. They will both reap what they were after in doing this…ratings, sales, and money.

Oprah and Palin aren’t morons. Okay, Palin is, but even a broken clock is right twice a day.

No my friends, the morons in this monumental interview are the media and the not unsubstantial segment of Americans that will find this afternoon Oprah/Palin coffee klatch, RIVETING!!

Oy Vay!!

Okay, I’m done…for now.

I want to thank you all for the comments and emails while I have been out of commission, and of course, I want to thank my BFF and femi-mini-me, Schmoop for filling in.

I’m still nowhere near 100%, but I may get around the blogosphere a bit today. Talk to you all as soon as possible.

Cheers!!

28 comments:

katherine. said...

you are right...we are gonna hear about it for a month before and five months after....I'm gonna be sick.

speaking of which...
what is wrong with you?

and speaking of appearing on television, isn't one of your family on jeopardy this week?

3 Men and a Lady said...

Ugh. I hizzate Sarah Palin. I rarely watch Oprah, and I certainly won't watch it that day. Of course, the more she speaks the less chance she ever has being a viable candidate again, so maybe this is a good thing, yes?

Scott Oglesby said...

I’m glad that you are feeling a bit better. You should have went to the doctor and loaded up on Perks for that unbearable pain that I’m in!!

Oprah is not a journalist. Her questions will be forwarded to Palin (and softer than a baby’s ass) and the answers exhaustively rehearsed. I’d much, much rather see that bitch on Jeopardy. I’d pay…pay-per-view money to see that shit!

Schmoop did a wonderful job, but we did miss you nonetheless!

Cheesy said...

Oh I hadn't heard this... it is going to be FUN!

Matt-Man said...

Kat: Yeah, it's gonna be TV saturation. Ugh. I don't know what is wrong with me. Gallstones? Pulled muscle? Lung inflammation. It's on my side and not directly in my chest.

Yes on the Jeopardy thing. I am going to note that tomorrow. She will be on the Oct. 23rd show. Cheers Kat!!

Matt-Man said...

Lady: Yeah, in that vein it is a good thing, but I hope she never goes away. She is so damn unintentionally funny. Cheers Mrs. D!!

Scott: Yeah a bit better and thanks. Holy Cow!! Palin on Jeopardy would be the best!! Ha. I'll be catching up with ya soon funny man. Cheers Scott!!

Cheesy: It should be quite a hoot...or a trainwreck. Either way, That's Entertainment. Cheers Cheese!!

Micky-T said...

I'm feeling a strong urge to abandon the news completely, stuff like this shouldn't get me excited for a train wreck. Like Scott says, it will be rehearsed.
Glad your on the mend, I was getting tired of Lu talking about you.

David said...

I would watch Tina Fey as Palin with Oprah but not the real Palin...but then I virtually never watch Oprah anyway.

Scott's recomendation of Palin on Jeopardy would be hilarious.

Glad you are improving Matt-Man.

Cheers

Matt-Man said...

Micky: Even when Palin rehearses, she is still awful...and awfully funny. And listen, Mister...

Lay off the lovely Lu, she has been wunnerful to me and I, unless my condition regresses, am giving her a shout out on Friends and Family Friday. Cheers Mick!!

Phfrankie Bondo said...

...don't forget her new triplets, Sine, Cosine and Tangent...

Matt-Man said...

David: Yeah, I'm better, but it still hurts like a wicked pissah. Scott did nail it, didn't he? Palin on Jeopardy would be must see TV. Cheers and Thanks David!!

Matt-Man said...

Phfrankie: Y'know...If that family was going to start spitting out kids like the Duggars, why didin't they name them after the Periodic Table? That way, every Christmas, they could sing Tom Lehrer's, The Elements. Cheers P-Man!!

Dana said...

I don't know ... a little 5 mil plastic on the Oprah sofa, splattered with some chocolate and vanilla pudding (don't want to be pudding racists)? This could be quite fun to watch!

Phfrankie Bondo said...

...as it is, they gather to sing, New Math! (it's so simple, so very simple!)...

Matt-Man said...

Dana: No, no, no. Maybe if it was Tyra Banks and Heidi Zadeh having pudding sex, that would be cool. But those two? That's just gross and something better left shown on the Jerry Springer Show. Cheers Dana!!

Phfrankie: Baby Steps, P-Man. They're still learning the ABCs Song. Don't pressure the Palins. Cheers!!

Bond said...

Did you ever go visit a doctor? Go to the ER? Or are you just going to let this simmer?

You want to watch this brilliant interview from the un-comfort of an adjustable hospital bed with Nurse Ratchet shoving thermometers up your arse?

Matt-Man said...

Bond: No I didn't, in spite of calls from you wunnerful people and my Schmoopie to do so. And don't get me wrong I appreciate that. However...

I have no insurance and no money to pay for it. I decided to let whatever this "thing" is to run its course. I am still in pain but it is slowly waning.

Even if I had insurance I doubt that I would have gone to the Doctor. Six days of pain, is no need to burden the health care system with an overpriced medical charge.

If I think something maybe life threatening, I'll go, but not until then. Cheers Vin!!

Starrlight said...

Annoying though she may be, at least Oprah gives more to the people than the stream of verbal shite the Tundra Twat does. Disingenuous bitch that she is.

Matt-Man said...

Starr: Hey Now...I agree with ya on Oprah, but don't be dissin' Palin. She's just a regular hockey mom tryin' to make it day to day in this crazy, mixed up world...or something. Cheers Starr!!

Bond said...

As if you would even know if it is life threatening...you could be incubating something that will now take much longer to cure

And in the end..sorry Matt...you are WRONG...go to the ER...most cities have hospitals that must take you in ...

You see, there is a young man named Ryno who depends upon your being around...

You can not give me the no $$ excuse when it comes to your health Matt...

You are W-R-O-N-G on this one. and I am disappointed.

Jay said...

I might actually watch Oprah for the first time in, uh, the first time ever when Sarah is on. But, if Palin doesn't come out in a short skirt and stilettos then I'm turning it off. ;-)

Marilyn said...

I kinda like Oprah, but even if I had real television I'd miss that one. I like Scott's Jeopardy idea. In fact lets have them both on Jeopardy. That'd be fun.

Feel better! As a fellow broke person, I think Bond has a point. What if it's something really serious? You don't want to miss out on Rhyno's college years.

snugs said...

lung pain + smoker really, a wise person, broke or not, would utilize the ER as it has been suggested. I know you are very wise, I think the illness if clouding your judgment on this...

Matt-Man said...

Bond: Well I disagree. I used to and unfortunately Schmoop still does work with a guy who has great insurance through his wife and he goes to the Doctor over a runny nose and/or a sore throat. There are many like him who go "seek relief" for every damn strain, sprain, and cough. I ain't like that. Cheers Vin!!

Jay: I think that is a good caveat. If Sarah isn't showing some skin, why bother? Cheers Jay!!

Marilyn: I understand, but I don't think it is that serious. I have no other maladies associated wit the pain. Cheers Marilyn!!

Matt-Man said...

Snugs: I am not sure that it is in my lung. It's on my side, and I have no bodily pain otherwise. So, it hurts...I'll suck i tup unless I can't. Cheers Snugs!!

Starrlight said...

Ok Matt quit making Aquarians looks stupid. What you described is not a runny nose and you know it. That ain't funny and neither are things like pulmonary embolisms.

Matt-Man said...

Starr: I'm not trivializing it, but I am not going to run to the ER right away either. Cheers Starr!!

Bond said...

runny nose...LOL


OK Matt...whatever...if you don't care, why should anyone else?

This saddens me Sir