Sunday, November 22, 2009

Sunday Morning Church Disservice: Matt-Man and His Amazing Powder Blue Dreampants

It’s going to be a bee-yoo-tee-ful Sabbath in Bagwine, Ohio. Sunny with a high near 60.

The good weather should help because it’s going to be a long day. I work 11-7 at the Beer Mine and then go over to my kid’s house in order to help him study for a couple of tests.

Today’s Church Disservice is based upon Genesis 37:3...

“Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his children, because he was the son of his old age: and he made him a coat of many colors.”

I had a similar event happen to me while I was in the hospital. At one point during my first day there, I was transported from the ER down to Radiology in order to have an ultrasound done.

Upon my arrival, “Shelly”, the ultrasound technician, asked me to take my pants off. As a guy who enjoys hearing that, I quickly and happily obliged.

She checked everything out. My legs which as I told you a few days ago, she said were really nice looking.

She checked my organs out and at one point asked, “When did you have your gall bladder taken out, Matt?” I said, “I never had my gal---”

She interjected, “Ha. Just kidding; there it is.” We cut up for a few more minutes and then we were done.

After she completed some paperwork, she asked if I wanted to put my pants back on…a pair of jeans that I had been wearing for hours and had been collecting the smell of hospital funk.

I said, “Eh…I’m sure I’ll be getting prodded more over the next few hours and their a pain to get on and off, so I may as well leave them off.”

It was a bit cold in the Radiology area so Shelly said, “Hey, why don’t I give you a pair of my pants?”

And with that my friends, a 70’s guitar riff that one would hear embedded in a porn soundtrack filled my head and I envisioned her stripping down. Alas…it was not to be.

Shelly did, however, go into the next room and came back carrying a fresh pair of hospital scrub pants, and smiling, said, “Here, I’ll give you these, Matt. You can keep them.”

It was then, that the words of Genesis 37:3 came to mind albeit in slightly different form…

“Now Shelly loved Matt-Man more than all her patients, because he had great legs: and she gave unto him pants of a powder blue color.”

I appreciate the charity of Shelly, and each time I wear these special pants I will think of her and her kindness.

Amen, and Amen.



Dana said...

... and just what "little" thing did Shelly see in radiology that let her know it was a bit cold??

*cue rim shot*

Matt-Man said...

Dana: Her nipples. Cheers Dana!!

3 Men and a Lady said...

Scrubs are so comfy, great souvenir! Love the bible verse wordplay ;-)

Irene said...

Nice bottoms and I think I see your panties!(8

Karen said...

That is a beautiful story of kindness and the holiday spirit. And you do look super in those scrubs.

Marilyn said...

That was nice of her. Are those black and blue stripey things boxers or briefs?

Dianne said...

and they're perfect to play doctor in!!

Four Dinners said...

Nice lady! You should have asked for hers as she'd warmed them up already!

Matt-Man said...

Lady: Thanks. These are my new laze around the apartment pants. They are comfortable. Cheers D!!

Irene: Hee. Hee. Your eyes don't deceive you, Irene. Cheers!!

Karen: It was very nice of her and in fact I got quite lucky. Everyone during my stay was incredibly nice and on the ball. Cheers Karen!!

Matt-Man said...

Marilyn: You have keen eyes. They are exactly what you describe. Cheers Marilyn!!

Dianne: The Doctor has to get a little mo' better before he plays. Cheers Sexy!!

Four: I would have, but if she took offense and went to slap me, I was in no shape to defend myself. Cheers FD!!

Marilyn said...