I like to use expletives frequently. I try to use them as a form of emphasis and/or just to be rude.
Well since this is Super Happy Hole-ly Jeebus Week ™, I thought I should cut back or refrain altogether from cussing on here.
Especially avoiding the phrase where I say, Jesus Fucking Christ.
It wasn’t just my idea. Jeebus told me to try to clean my language up during His special week.
He said to me last night…
“Matt-Man, I love you, but please, try to stop using such colorful language. If I can do it; you can do it.”
Now for those of you not as intimate with The Lord as I, the “if I can…you can…” line may seem odd. Well, trust me it’s not.
Ol’ Jeebus may be the Son of God, but in addition to being that and a sarcastic practical joker, the boy used to cuss up a storm.
Damn straight, he did.
He used to call his apostle John a big girlie man and shout at him in Greek saying things like, “John ya big sissy, you are such a Kappa. Upsilon. Nu. Tau.”
He used to refer to Pontius Pilate as a, "mealy mouthed dago pussy." And referred to Romans in general as, "pasta eating pig fuckers."
I think Jeebus’ dad finally told him to cool it when he said to an adulteress woman…
“Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more, you dick twizzlin’ ho-bag.”
Jeebus now swears very rarely, however if I happen to mention Joyce Meyer to him, he usually let’s out a…
“Screw that used up, lyin’ ass, douche bag.”
Ha. That one always cracks me up, because his face always shrivels up like a rotten bell pepper when he says it.
So anyway…Since it is Super Happy Hole-ly Jeebus Week ™, and because Jeebus asked me to, I’ll try to control my bad language.
Especially any phrase that uses his name and the F-Word.
However, if I see something funny that may contain some bad language such as that, I may falter and post it. But, I’ll try to be strong and refrain from doing so.
Do you think I’ll be strong enough?.
I guess not...