Sunday, May 16, 2010

Sunday Morning Church Disservice: The Land of Milk and Honey

It’s going to be a rainy and glum Sabbath in Bagwine, Ohio today. I’ll blame it on Obama; why the hell not, eh?

Now yesterday for the majority of the day it was bee-yoo-tee-ful. My shift at the Beer Mine was more than bearable.

I caught some rays. It was busy which made the time go quickly, and…

Evidently it was Breast Awareness Day at the Beer Mine on Saturday. My, oh my.

I haven’t seen that much cleavage on display since the time I was eight and spent the afternoon looking at the bra ads in my mom’s JC Penny catalog.

It was like working a fun bag smorgasbord.


There were all sizes, shapes, hues, and personalities. Damn right, Bitches. Tits have distinct personalities.

And listen up…I got some nipple shot. Twice!! Although seriously, I could have done without seeing the nip on the second chick.

I was getting so worked up looking at the myriad of mammaries parading through the place that I couldn’t wait to get home so I could play with Schmoop’s boobies.


Or should I call them, Schmoobies? Anyhoo…

So, at 9:10 P.M., I walked into the digs and lo and behold…Schmoop was sound asleep. The titty tussle I had so hoped for, was not to be.

Bummer.

I popped some beers, turned on the Reds/Cards baseball game, and instead of playing with Schmoop’s titters, I tweeted on Twitter.

Such is the life of the Matt-Man. Maybe today will bring a fun-filled time with the Schmoobies. I can only hope.

Amen, and Amen…

Have a wonderful Sunday folks. I am off to see Ryno this morning and have to stop at the funeral home this afternoon.

My brother’s MIL passed away late Thursday night at the age of 79. She will be missed by even those who only met her briefly.

While it is always sad when it happens, this wonderful woman packed a lot of life into her years and she was in a word, fun.

Here’s to her, and to all of her family and friends.

Cheers!!

19 comments:

Michele said...

My condolences to your brother and his wife. A life well lived is always to be celebrated.

Have a great Sunday.

Matt-Man said...

Michele: Very true, and so it shall be. Have a wunnerful Sunday as well, Michele!! Cheers!!

Jay said...

Everyday should be Breast Awareness Day.

Scott Oglesby said...

Condolences to everyone…

When I worked at the turnpike I saw a lot. But most of it was a lot of what I did not want to see. During Marty Gras though we had bead giving away contests and I won twice. I’ll have to blog about that sometime.

Matt-Man said...

Jay: I try to make it so in my world. Cheers Jay!!

Scott: Ha. I read where you mentioned that once and you should write about it soon. It's about tits after all. Cheers Scott!!

Warrior_Kat said...

Is the woman in the pic lactating? There's a wet spot on her left schmoobie.

Matt-Man said...

Warrior: Ha. I wondered the same thing. However, since she appears to ba lactating from one Schmoobie only, I guess she is producing Half n Half. Thanks for the comment, and Cheers Kat!!

Joker_SATX said...

Matt-Man, every day is Breast Awareness day. Go ahead and ask every heterosexual guy you know if a day goes by without the thought of boobs.

Glad to hear that things are good on your end...and sorry that you missed your turn with the funbags......

Put it high on your "To Do" list today.

Dianne said...

sorry about your family's loss, if you say she was fun then she must have really been something

I love the term Schmoobies
how lovely of you not to awaken the sleeping goddess

have a great time with Ryno

cathy said...

Only you would combine a post about boobs with an RIP. God bless you Matt.

Matt-Man said...

Joker: I shall press on and hope that this evening I shall be pressing some breasts. Cheers Joker!!

Dianne: She was a barrel of laughs. A very sweet woman. Cheers Di!!

Cathy: Ha. I thought about that as I was writing it, but I figured, e, this cool broad wouldn't mind. Hope things are stabilizing in your neck of the woods. Cheers Cathy!!

Desert Rat said...

I'm so sorry about your brother's mil, dearheart. If she will be missed by even those who only met her briefly, she must have been something! Sincere condolences to her family.

Scott's comment cracked me up: I didn't *know* about mardi gras beads (hey, I'm scientist, man!), but one time I was changing my clothes camping with friends, and Dano said later, "I guess I owe you some beads," and I'm like, "WTF are you talking about?"

Now, I have beads hanging from the lights in my bathroom! ha!

Marilyn said...

I'm glad you had a good day at work. Now I'm trying to think if anybody owes me beads.

Mike said...

So the Cards lost the last two and are now in second place behind .... WHO!?

Matt-Man said...

Rat: Remind me that at some point that I need to go camping with you. Cheers Rat!!

Marilyn: I dunno if they do or not, but I know people owe ME some...I've exposed my breasts plenty of times. Cheers Marilyn!!

Mike: Ha...Is that wacky or what? The Reds are in First Place, but I wouldn't worry too much. It won't last. Cheers Mike!!

Mrs. D said...

Condolences to your brother's family. The term "schmoobies" is awesome, btw, lol. The Reds are my husband's team and he's very happy they're in 1st. For now...

Matt-Man said...

D: I am a casual Reds fan just as I am a casual Bengals fan because both teams a relatively local, but I don't really get into fandom any longer since players change teams so often anymore in pro sports. Cheers D!!

Dana said...

From what I hear it's not impossible to get boobies on twitter. Just sayin'

Matt-Man said...

Dana: Thanks for the tit..er..tip. I shall look into it. Cheers Dana!!