It is going to be a sunny and warm Sabbath in Bagwine, Ohio today.
Our temps will be climbing into the mid to upper 80’s today and the daily highs will remain that way through Friday.
I’m off today, but come Monday at work, the temp will be pushing 87 or 88 and I’ll be looking like this…
I dig it…I do so loooove to sweat. Praise Jeebus and pass the tanning butter, Bitches!!
Ahhhh Summer. The women look lovelier; the beer tastes better, and the air is filled with the aroma of burgers and brats sizzling on the grill.
Of course here in Bagwine, in addition to the aroma, the air is also oft time filled with the sound of shrieks of domestic anger emanating from the yard of the drunken couples having the cookouts.
But? Nothing is perfect.
It gets mighty hot at the Beer Mine in the summer. So hot, that the cotton candy melts, the cooler doors sweat profusely, and Pizza Bill gets a bad case of the ass chap.
Me? It doesn’t bother me too much, because I have a way to deal with the heat. What is it you ask? Take a look at this…
You are probably saying, “Yeah so what Matt-Man; you’re wearing shorts.” That’s true, but guess what?
I ain’t wearin’ any underwear beneath dem der shorts. My boys are free and dry, and so am I. Working sans underwear keeps the ball sweat to a minimum and the junk juice at bay.
More importantly, not wearing underwear brings me closer to our customers. Literally.
They don’t have to know, but I like knowing it, especially when I’m standing a mere six inches away from the face of a hot chick.
Maybe Pizza Bill should try going commando. I bet it would greatly reduce the severity of his ass chap. Just sayin’.
Yes indeed, the Glory of GAWD has sent summer unto Bagwine, Ohio and I am slam damn happy about it. Hell, even my shadow is happy…
Well folks, have a wonderful Sunday in your neck of the woods. I am off to see Ryno before he goes to Church and then I shall proceed to put some tan on my pasty white body.
Oh, and drink more than a few beers, because as I said earlier, the beer tastes better in the Summer.
Amen, and Amen…