Sunday, June 13, 2010

Sunday Morning Church Disservice: Things Are Heating Up

It's going to be an oppressively warm and humid Sabbath in Bagwine, Ohio today. High near 90 with a dewpoint of 75...

That makes the air juicier than Barry Bonds' last piss test and thicker than Dick Cheney's arteries, baby. It could also lead to some big thunder boomers later.

It was warm and humid like that at work yesterday...allow me to show you.


Ahhh the wunnerful Beer Mine. I love that place...most of the time. When it's so busy that I can't huff a puff for ninety minutes straight, I get a little edgy.

I told you it was hot and humid on Saturday. Check this out...



No folks that is not dirty glass on the cooler doors. We wouldn't allow it. It's sweat!! They stayed like that from the time I got there until I closed down at nine.

It was pretty miserable, but fortunately I didn't have any major league assholes come through. Although...

There was one chick who came through and asked me if we had worms. Uh-huh...worms.

I said, "Um...no." And she said, "Damn. Nobody has worms."

I said, "Sorry." What I really wanted to say was, "How about going to a bait store, you fucking moron?"

But, in spite of her stupidity and the thick June air, I remained cool...and of course, looked cool...


Amen, and Amen...

I am off today and will be soaking up some A/C today and perhaps enjoying a thunderstorm or two along with several beers.

And if it does storm during the day, I hope it clears off later in the day so I can enjoy another Bagwine sunset like the one that I experienced Friday night...

Yeah...I like that.

Have a wunnerful Sunday all, and of course...

Cheers!!

22 comments:

Charlene said...

WOW A drive through beer mine. Wish we had one of those here.

Matt-Man said...

Charlene: And it's the cleanest around and we have the coldest beer in town. It's Heaven. Cheers Charlene!!

Mrs. D said...

The liquor store here isn't a drive thru, but it DOES have bait. LOL.

Stay cool Matt!

Mike said...

Mucho storms in the Missouri yesterday. Heading your way.

Scott Oglesby said...

There is nothing better than the afternoon thunderstorm. We’d get them every single day for a half hour to an hour in the summer in Florida.

And I think I understand that girl’s confusion. Both in Florida and in PA almost every store that sold beer usually had a little bait refrigerator somewhere. Maybe it’s the beer/fish connection…

You can Call me AL said...

Most beer stores here also have bait.
Who in the hell can fish without beer & bait?

Just a quick question, what is the cost of Skoal at your place? Yes, I fell off the wagon after 2 years. Can't get over how much the crap cost now, $5.06 per can here!

Dana said...

I'm thinking y'all need to get worms! Our Marathon gas station here in town (the closest thing Podunk has to a beer mine) has bait.

And did you borrow that Banger's t-shirt from Schmoop??

Matt-Man said...

Mrs D: Liquor and bait together can lead to only one thing...Disaster. Cheers D!!

Mike: I saw that and we had some pretty good ones last night. Cheers Mike!!

Scott: Well here in Ohio, we have these wacky things called, "Bait Stores." I don't think the lady had ever been fishing. Cheers Scott!!

Matt-Man said...

Al: Ha...We don't sell Skoal. We saell Kodiak which is $4.65 and Grizzly whichg is $2.73. Happy chewing. Cheers Al!!

Dana: What is with you people and your on demand places!! No baaaaaby, that's my shirt and have had it for a lonnnnnng time. Cheers Dana!!

Phfrankie Bondo said...

...you could just get one rilly BIG worm, stand it up in a corner like a cigar store Indian, and let peopple whittle on it...

Joker_SATX said...

Cheers Matt-Man!

Maybe that chic was looking for worms of a different nature, if you get my meaning.....

I mean, you never really know who's into bestiality these days right?...

Matt-Man said...

Phfrankie: That's not a bad idea until its been sittin' out there come August.

Anyway, our priority right now is to find a mannequin that we can dress in a bikini, put her in a lounge chair next to the street, as she holds a 40 ouncer of King Cobra. Cheers P-Man!!

Matt-Man said...

Joker: Ha...Good point...She did have a crazy look in her eye. Cheers Joker!!

Jay said...

We have bait stores near the lake and over around the river here. But, the convenience stores and liquor stores usually have bait vending machines.

Ever seen those things? Maybe you guys should put one of those in? haha

Matt-Man said...

Jay: We'll of course your convenience stores carry bait. Down in your neck of the woods that's considered dinner.

And yeah...we have those vending machines. I laugh whenever I see one. Cheers Jay!!

Evil Twin's Wife said...

We live right by a river and I don't think our convenience stores sell bait. I'll have to look next time I stop by one.

Matt-Man said...

Evil: You don't live by the Kanawha River do ya? I love saying that name. Cheers ETW!!

Desert Rat said...

I hope you do get your storm. When you are touched by rain, you are touched by life.

Enjoy your day off, dearheart!

Mandy said...

You know we haven't had a good thunderstorm all year! I'm so disappointed.

Beautiful sunset...and drive through beer? Sighs...if only.

Matt-Man said...

Mandy: Anytime on the sunset..and yeah...anytime...no really I mean it. Cheers Jane!!

The Dish said...

Rain, rain, and more rain here in Normal, IL. Humidity to rival August, which is bullshit.

I miss the drive thru stores. We had 'em in TX. Stupid IL. Although, they do sell booze in the grocery store, even on Sundays!

Matt-Man said...

Dish: Ha. It's always good to be able to pick up a bottle of booze when buying a frozen pizza. And same here...the humidity is the same here. Sheesh. Cheers Dish!!