When I look back some three decades there are some things I miss from my childhood.
I miss first and foremost, my mom and dad of course, but there are a few other things that I miss as well.
I miss riding my bike in the summer sun as the pollen laden wind smacked me in the face and made me sneeze.
I miss the smell of fried baloney sandwiches on a warm summer day.
I miss a big pot of chili simmering on the stove on Christmas Eve as mom would stir it while wearing an ugly, ill-fitting, floral patterned apron.
Yeah…I miss those things from my childhood, but you know what I miss from my adulthood?
Aside from missing the night that Schmoop said to me:
“You are the first man to have ever given me an orgasm.”
I miss Bill Clinton.
As the mid-term elections draw near, the economy continues to sputter, and nay-saying, tea bagging candidates steep in their stupidity, I miss former President Clinton more and more.
Don’t get me wrong. I don’t dislike President Obama, but the man is so cerebral, if he was getting a blow job from Michelle, he would say to himself…
“This is very pleasing, and my prostate thanks you for your efforts.”
Prior to the O-Man, we had Dubya who was quite the opposite. A forceful and matter-of-fact bastard whom I can hear uttering:
“I dig the Mexicans, but if they continue to kidnap Americans, I’ll cut their fucking heads off and make me a burrito sandwich out of the leftover shit.”
On the other hand, prior to both of these guys there was the Obama/Dubya mixture that was Bill Clinton.
President Clinton was the perfect storm of intelligence, foresight, national sensitivity, and you know what…I miss him.
Even to this day, when Clinton speaks, he not only says something intelligent, he illuminates how desperately this nation needs a political giant like him.
I understand the frustration of this country’s electorate, but c’mon….If the answer to the frustration is to vote for Sharron Angle, Joe Miller, Christine O’Donnell, and Carl “Fucking” Paladino? Screw It.
Oh, Dear God. They…are…morons. And…if you are one who is inclined to vote for those morons, YOU are a moron too.
I know…I know…FOX News, Rush Limbaugh, and Sean “Blockhead” Hannity will say my comment is elitist, but seriously, how can I be an elitist when I live in Bagwine, Ohio?
Fuck Em’ All.
If you vote for any of those folks or think that Sarah Palin would make a good President, you are stupid and must be shot, poisoned, or otherwise killed.
And that’s that.
But what about my right to vote and my First Amendment rights, you ask?
Ha…If you are voting for any of the folks I mentioned, you have no right to anything other than a government grant because you are obviously a thalidomide victim.
I guess my point is, people running for office today, suck. Big Time.
I miss Bill Clinton. I miss Statesmanship. I miss intelligence.
I don’t care how many chicks he had sex with.
I’ll take horny and smart over stupid and well, stupid, anytime.
You can catch Jay and I discussing the stupid state of politics more thouroughly by listening to our I'm with Stupid Blog Talk Radio Show from yesterday: