And now, albeit a day late...Another scintillating installment of He Said...She Said
Matt: What a day huh? Could today be labeled, “Dumbest People in the World Day” or what?
Schmoop: No shit! People suck, a lot. Did you just hear the fucktard (yes it is one word) upstairs?
Matt: Right on schedule. Yelling and cussing as usual. There must be a heated bowl game taking place on TV between Okaloosa Walton Junior College and No Name State.
Schmoop: Ha! No doubt! So, why do people suck in your world? Then maybe, I’ll tell you why they suck in mine.
Matt: Today, I have been assaulted by folks who think they know my biddness. People who think they know how to write. Write? Gimme a break. I can’t perform live on a radio show well, but I write really goodly.
Schmoop: You write fantastically! People want to tell you what to do because it makes them think they are better. You know what I say to that? Fuck Them!!
Matt: Hee…Fantastically…That’s a word now, but of course you know…We common people are not allowed to make up words, unlike Webster and that Roger Thesaurus guy.
Schmoop: OMG! I know you meant Roget’s! Ok, here we go. UPS didn’t pick up yesterday at my place. Why, you ask? Because our regular guy was not working.
The “child” who was taking his place, said he knocked at the door at 3:15. WRONG! I was in the office and the really, really old dude was at the back door. Liar! So our stuff didn’t get picked up until today. Ask me why that is bad? Go on ask.
Matt: Why? (He asks, for he is afraid to do anything else.)
Schmoop: BECAUSE, the stuff we ship…in the cold, tends to break if they are thrown around in the truck! So, a day wait is not good. Fuckers!!!! Ok, I’m done, and you??
Matt: I’m done too…As much as I hate the world and the many people who make it up (yeah I know, bad grammar)…I do love you.
Schmoop: I love you too baby! So here is to a better year. We deserve it. Oh, and I am also looking forward to being naked with you for the next four days! Yay, me!!!
Matt: Yes…Yes we do…and screw that “yay you” shit…Yay Me!! Here’s to you…And now…Suck It!!
Have a safe and wonderful New Year's Eve. If you're near me at midnight prepared to get kissed, and yes, there will be tongue.