Thursday, January 06, 2011

Stay At Home Moms: Some Of You Really Blow...A Lot

Don’t tell me that being unemployed is easy. Holy Cow…I am fed up.

For instance, yesterday? I got up at 5 AM, made coffee for Schmoop, did the dishes, and then took a shower.

After that, I tweeted awhile. I returned some comments on my blog. And then…I made the bed.

Today? I will be taking the aforementioned Schmoop to work. I will then drive over to Ryno’s house in order to take him to school, and then come back home.

Once home, I will clean the house, prepare dinner ahead of time, work on tonight’s show, and send out some resumes.

I’m going to fix the coffee pot, take a shower, and then return some phone calls.

I’ll do some writing. Call the ex to make sure all is well. Tweet some more, and then wonder if I will ever work again, as I clean out the cabinets.

There may be dirty clothes, so I got quarters last night in case a load of laundry needs to be done.

My cat will be needy so I’ll have to pet her for awhile, and perhaps clean up her fur ball puke. After taking a nap from my arduous morning, I’ll awake.

After taking another shower, I’ll tidy up the bathroom and get dressed, all the while cursing the lack of respect that I have received for my labors.

I’ll then (as I take out the trash) hop in the car and go pick up my son from school. After dropping him off at home, I will drive to pick up Schmoop from work and bring her and I home safely.

After some inane banter about her rigorous day, I will prepare her evening meal, kiss her on the head after eating, and send her off to bed. All the while complaining to myself that I didn’t get sex.

I will then do the dishes, and say to myself…

“Holy Cow…I have a show to do. How will I ever get this done?”

I will then have a glass of Rose, bitch about it on Twitter, and then take a bubble bath.

Yep…Being unemployed is a rough job, and it makes me realize how rough it is on some of you stay at home moms.

It also makes me realize this…You stay at home moms who bitch? Pfffft….You’re pussies!!

Don’t forget that tonight at 11 PM EST on I’m With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio, Jayman and I will be mentioning all you Hot Bloggin’ Chicks and Twitter Babes that rock our world!!

To get to our radio page, simply click HERE.

Until Tonight at 11 PM EST…This is Matt-Man in an apron saying, as always…

Cheers!!

31 comments:

Michele said...

It is really hard to stay at home after being employed for so long. After all the busy work what do you do? I started doing a lot of creative things and read a lot of books to stay sane. I feel for you. It is not easy. I loved staying home after I got over feeling that I wasn't contributing. Hang in there. Something will come up.

Matt-Man said...

Michele: Oh I know...I am always the optimist. I'm a pragmatic Pangloss. Cheers Michele!!

Jay said...

You'll make someone a good wife someday dude. I don't know HOW you keep up that pace!

Matt-Man said...

Jay: Ha...Schmoop has said that exact thing before. She also says that I am "gay". Cheers Jay!!

Mama Kat said...

You're right. Being home is super hard. I do EVERYTHING you just listed minus the cleaning and excessive showering. I don't know how you survive with all that housework involved!

Matt-Man said...

Kat: It is incredibly hard, both physically and mentally...I hope I can maintain this pace. Cheers Kat!!

Mike said...

It's sort of like being retired. Except without all that cleaning, bed making and kid picking up shit.

David said...

I'm totally shocked that you haven't landed a new job if that apron is the outfit you are wearing to the interviews.

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Yes. my dear Ma, I understand. Your life is much like my, except me being "disabled" and "retired" I seldom leave my apartment and have no hope of employment. Do not get old, or, as reality tells us, be prepared for the changes that come with age.

Dana said...

I think there really *is* something to the tedium of staying home. It seems to gnaw away at your brain ... kind of like a zombie attack.

Keep the zombies at bay Matt!

Evil Twin's Wife said...

I only bitch because, recently, I've lost motivation to do all the things you're doing. I just need to prioritize and maybe a swift kick in the ass. :-)

Matt-Man said...

Mike: Hee. You never fail to amuse me. Cheers Mike!!

David: I'll take your advice and wear to the next one. cheers David!!

Nick: I understand, but as far as getting old there's no fighting, but I am well prepared to adapt and change as the changes occur. Here's to ya my friend. Cheers Nick!!

Matt-Man said...

Dana: I am already bored out of mind after a month. If I didn't have the few creative outlets available to me, I would have already killed myself or someone else. Cheers Dana!!

Evil: I wasn't mentioning anyone in particular. Everyone goes through what you are descibing no matter they do in life. Cheers ETW!!

Allison M. Dickson said...

Aside from a few seasonal excursions into retail and/or customer service, I've been home for about 8 years. I may very well have lost my mind years ago. I will say, though, that you're far more productive than I am with the housework. I have dishes to wash and my bedroom looks like something made of clothes threw up in it.

Matt-Man said...

Allie: No. I don't think you have ever lost your mind, which is good since you have an inate desire to machine gun down people. I bet you miss working at Target though. I recall how much you loved it. ; )~ Cheers Allie!!

MysteryChick said...

I think I need you over at MysteryChick Headquarters. I still have buckets of Christmas decorations in my living room because I can't be bothered to hike my lazy ass up to the third floor storage with them. Hell, last night I threw 2 plates of Chef Boyardee Raviolis in front of my kids for dinner and ate chips, fudge and Diet Coke for my own dinner. Mom of the year here. Help! I need you!

BTW-with all that showering you do you may want to ad moisturizing to your daily chores.

Matt-Man said...

Chick: Ha. Gimme a second to grab my apron and my cape and I'll be right over; all I ask of you is that you moisturize me when I'm done with the housework.

Hope you are listening tonight. Cheers Chick!!

Beth said...

My, you are the busy little bee aren't you? Sorry I won't get a mention on your show tonite, I don't do blog;)

Matt-Man said...

Schmoop: I do what I can. And why wouldn't you get mentioned. You do tweet occasionally, don't ya? Uh-Huh. I said that. Cheers and Zoooooves!!

Joker_SATX said...

I never thought I would see the day where Matt Man is Domesticated!

Matt-Man said...

Joker: Pffft. I always have been into shit like that. Schmoop has told me before:

"You would somebody a very good wife." Cheers Joker!!

Knight said...

What is with the excessive showering? Is "take a shower" your cover for "rub one out"?

Matt-Man said...

Knight: You are the only one to have picked up on that meaning. Ha. Cheers Observant One!!

Anonymous said...

I'm a so-called Stay at Home Mom. I rarely have the luxury of staying home.
The Husband drives 90 miles from home to work, then back again. It actually works out well for us; he's only home for 4 hours on weekdays, not long enough to get on my nerves.]
No bus service available for our daughters' school, and sure, I'll be glad to wake an hour before I "have" to, "work outside of the home Mom" and pick your kids up, too. No biggie. I don't mind taking them to soccer/tennis/swimming practice.
No problem, "work outside the home mom" when 1 of your children are sick. After all, I am home most of the day. Drop that sweet lil snot-blowing, caughing, pukin darlin on me. No biggie.
It so pissed me off when, last year, a mother of 8!!! walked up to my car while waitin in pick-up line, saw my book, asked "So, is that what you do during the day, read" Yeah, you b**ch, I drop my kids, and yours, off at school then read my ass off!
The housework/laundry/lawn/errands/vehice maint, etc. etc.etc.is MY JOB. Two incomes should be able to afford to hire someone (at min. wage) to do all of the things I do.
Bitch rant over now-I consider it an honor and consider myself lucky to just get to "stay at home", I really do. But dem bitches that sneer when I say I take an hour of my day to read, then nap,can frankly bite my ass. My day starts at 5 in the morning and I'm lucky if it ends before midnight. We all do what we have to do, don't we?
Ame in TN

Desert Rat said...

You are a Domestic God! Hold your "scepter" - that's code - high and be proud!

I am on night #3 of "Eggplant Around the World." (Thailand! - Last night was Italy, night before that was India.) Yeah, when I'm not working, it's a thrill-a-minute, I tell ya.

Stay sane and try not to listen too intently to the little voices. Your box should arrive on Monday or Tuesday, so *there* is something to look forward to!

Matt-Man said...

Ame: You can bitch and rant on here all you want. It was quite refreshing and I thank you. Cheers Ame!!

Rat: Ha. eggplant of the world. That's funny. You are always on the cutting edge my dear. I'll stay relatively sane. And WTF?

My box? Are you sending me Labradoran eggplant. How bout you send your box. Hey-Ooooooo. Listen tonight if you can my friend. Cheers Lovely One!!

Scott Oglesby said...

I love being unemployed. I try not to burden myself with so many of the household chores though. That’s what the cleanup crew of Hoarders is for. Plus, bubble bath!

Matt-Man said...

Scott: It blows, but won't last forever. It does however, afford me th opportunity to catch up on The Young and the Restless. Cheers Scott!!

Raquel's World said...

Said similarly on facebook-- I think the major difference here is most stay-at-home-moms are running behind a few kids and that makes all the difference in the world. Just to prove my point I would be happy to drop a few of mine off so you could get the real experience.

Matt-Man said...

Raquel: Bring it On!! Have a lovely weekend. Cheers Roc!!

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