Wednesday, January 05, 2011

Hodgepodgical Hump Day

Okay you chuckleheads…Time for some Hump Day Hodgepodge. Let’s rip it up!!

There wasn’t a Varsity basketball game, but my son Ryno did have a JV game Tuesday evening. How did he do you ask?

4 of 9 from 3 pt. range and a 2 pointer for a total of 14 pts.

Oddly, the two pointer he sank was the first time all season he has made anything other than a three pointer. He also had four rebounds, four assists, and played some damn good defense which yielded 4 steals.

Here’s to the R-Man and the team as a whole as they won 56-38. His next games (JV and Varsity) are this Saturday night. Godspeed my seed, Godspeed.

Since my eyesight uncorrected is nearly 20/800, it’s fun to take my glasses off and look at the lights on the Christmas tree. It’s like experiencing the fun of dropping acid without the adverse side affects.

Schmoop is in day three of her monthly shedding of her uterine lining. It hasn’t knocked her on her ass quite as badly this month as it usually does, and we’re happy about that.

Nonetheless…

Thursday night at 11 PM EST on I’m With Stupid’s Hot Blogger Chicks and Sexy Twitter Babes episode, our lusty correspondent Kim Fragile will have a live remote report from Schmoop’s uterus. Fun for the entire family!!

My mom has been gone nearly five years, but I thought of her yesterday. I was working on a hit piece about someone and I thought of something she would frequently ask of me…

“Matthew, why do you always have to see how far you can push people?”

I would always reply,
“Because it’s fun, Mom!!”

We would both chuckle, although she’d be shaking her head while doing so. The thought of her made me smile.

Something I learned New Year’s Eve that, like Al Gore, will remain forever seared into my memory is this…

Even if there is an uber-special on pork roast and you can get a 4 pound piece of pig for 10 bucks?

Don’t buy it if there are only two of you who are going to eat it. The Schmoopster and I still have fucking loads of oink meat in the fridge!!

Now, if I could get 4 pounds of bacon for 10 bucks, we could eat that type of pig in a single sitting.

Lessee, what else?

Oh. The funniest thing I heard over the recent holidays was as follows…

Christmas morning after Ryno opened all his presents, I was sitting on the couch with his mom who was talking to her mom on the phone.

Ryno was laying on the floor tossing his new basketball in the air and catching it.

Well, evidently the size, roundness, and smoothness of the new ball made him think of my bald head, because out of the blue, with ball in hand, he turned to me and asked:

“Dad? Do you still have to use shampoo?”

The boy is a riot.

Happy Hump Day all, and as always…

Cheers!!

17 comments:

Mike said...

You should have told him you shampoo your pubs.

And I didn't win the lottery so I'll still be associating with you.

Matt-Man said...

Mike: Ha. Love the lottery line. Cheers Mike!!

Beth said...

Well this should be an interesting show! If the radio police come to the door, I'm in bed;)

Matt-Man said...

Schmoop: Are you implying that I should direct them your way as you lie in bed? Whore!! Cheers and Zooooves!!

Beth said...

Ha! No you moron, just that I will not be available for comment on your debauchery!!

Matt-Man said...

Schmoop: I see. I have bigger things to worry about such as, "How the hell is Kim Fragile going to get inside your hoo-ha?"

It's quite the logistical problem!! Cheers and Zooooves!!

Raquel's World said...

Aww look at Rhiney (Thats my name for Ryno)

But more importantly...do you still use shampoo when there is no hair. My guy is bald often and he does but he is a bit vain and even sometimes metrosexual, lol but does a man's man use shampoo on a bald head? Do tell, do tell.

Matt-Man said...

Raquel: Ha...Of course I do. They only time I am completely bald is when I shave my every three months. However in a couple of years or so when I am completely bald, I'll report back on the shampoo thing. Cheers Hot Shot!!

Michele said...

there are side effects to dropping acid? I don't remember any. ;)

Matt-Man said...

Michele: Ha. Well...so I've heard. Cheers Mizz Leary!!

Dana said...

Well thank the shampoo Gods (and Raquel), I can now rest at night knowing the answer to that suds-ing question ...

Jay said...

I try to stay away from uber specials on meat. And my intestines thank me for it.

Matt-Man said...

Dana: Knowledge is not only power it is a catalyst for relaxation. Cheers Dana!!

Jay: What!? But meat is delicious!! Cheers Jay!!

Joker_SATX said...

4 lbs of bacon for $10...now that's a tempting offer. Throw in the chick with the panties and I will buy 8 pounds....

Matt-Man said...

Joker: Hell I'd take four pounds of bacon @10 dollars over the chick in the panties anyday. Cheers Joker!!

Knight said...

Don't you look forward to the day when you are so old and hairless that a simple sponge bath will suffice? I think Ryno knows it's in the cards to one day be that sponger.

Matt-Man said...

Knight: He already calls me old man. It's very hurtful. Not really...I always laugh. Cheers Knight!!