Wednesday, June 01, 2011

Schmoop Does Bagwine and Asks...Who's Your Daddy?

So, since I seem to now be in charge of this here Bagwine blog, I will try to post witty, intelligent posts. Oh who the hell am I kidding…it will be total drivel. Anyhoo...

Let’s start off with my horrible television viewing habits. Everyone, and I mean ALL of YOU, have guilty viewing habits. Right? 

Of course you do. On to mine.

You may know that Monday thru Thursday evenings, and all day Sunday…I am left to my own devices, as the King, aka Matt Man, is at the Beer Mine.

So, here goes…

He wanted to know why, on Saturday morning, when he turned on the TV, that Cartoon Network was on.

Ok, good question. Why was it on? I’ll tell you why.

“Who lives in a pineapple under the sea, Spongebob Squarepants.” 

Not so bad you say? Moving on.

Bridezillas, Judge Judy, Andy Griffith (only in B/W), HGTV, Food Network, and anything with the Kardashians. Nothing out of the ordinary, right?

Ok, the Bridezilla thing is a bit much, and maybe, maybe the Kardashians (I love you Bruce).

What? Just because I can name them all, even the two youngest ones (Kylie and Kendall)…don’t judge me.

Ok, here’s the big one. At 5:00 every weekday night (except Fridays when Ego-Boy is home), I watch…

MAURY.

I can’t help it people!! I swear! It’s like a train wreck! Who’s the baby daddy, who? I can’t look away. I’m watching it right now as I type this!!

When Matt found out I was sitting in the Captain’s computer chair watching MAURY, he blew a gasket, and had to sanitize the chair!

Big whoop home boy.

When the same woman has 18 men DNA tested, trying to find her baby daddy, and still doesn’t know who it is? Ha!! That is the shits!

Alright, I’ve come clean. I feel so much better. Now tell me yours. What? You don’t actually have any guilty TV pleasures?

Mother fucking liars.

Zooooves!!

14 comments:

Phfrankie Bondo said...

Everybody Loves Raymond. Every night, six 'till eight. I don't care what anybody says.

Jay said...

I watch Rachael Ray every day. Alone. In the dark.

Oh and I watch Gilmore Girls too. But, that's totally normal for a single 43 year old man to do. ;-)

Matt-Man said...

P-Man: Ray's TV wife has a great rack. Cheers Pfunny Man!!

Jay: Ha...I see nothing wrong with your viewing habits...of course when Schmoop wakes up tomorrow and answers these comments, she might. Cheers Jay!!

Mike said...

The heck with TV. When are you going to take over the BTR show?

MysteryChick said...

I don't sit down to intentionally watch Maury but if one of those who's-the-baby-daddy shows is on it's like a car wreck, I can't look away.

Lately I seem to be on a Law& Order; SVU kick.

Beth said...

P-Man: Really? I mean really? I still love ya!

Jay: Not a thing wrong with that, um I think;)

Mike: Hell dude, I didn't want to take over this gig, now you want BTR?

Chick: Love Law and Order SVU, but the main characters will not be there next season. Sucks!

Matt-Man said...

Your post was far more entertaining than any episode of Maury. And please, could you bring home a fresh bottle of chair sanitizer? Cheers and Zoooooves!!

Evil Twin's Wife said...

Regular shows I watch are American Idol (because I just can't look away), Survivor (my fave), Glee and assorted shows on TLC, like Say Yes to the Dress and that sort of junk.

Beth said...

Matt: Thank you, and yes I will.

ETW: I don't usually watch those shows, but I have been known to watch My Fair Wedding:)

Joker_SATX said...

As part of my Therapy, I watch Monday Night Raw, Friday Night Smackdown and of course, Tough Enough.

So there it is...I honestly don't think my therapy is working though..

Beth said...

Joker: Ha! Maybe you should try Charmed? Whoops! I just let another cat out of the bag;)

Desert Rat said...

I love to watch "Hoarders" and "The Real Life Housewives of NYC" (aka "The Crazy Bitches") - but I don't watch either one of them with regularity... Just enough to "keep up" sort of...

Beth said...

Rat: Good shows, but if I watched Hoarders, I'd actually have scrub myself down with bleach!!

Raquel's World said...

Bad Girls Club
Yes I'm 30something and a mother of 4 but dammit I cannot help myself.
If you have never seen it, it is basically a bunch of fucked up girls who think they are bad asses. They all live in a mansion together and have sex, party and fight nonstop. It's some real trash but I love it!