Sunday, May 01, 2011

Sunday Morning Church Disservice: Tastykakes!!

So, Ladies and Gentlemen, Schmoop here…

We had theeeeee most awesome of trios here in Bagwine, Ohio yesterday. Bubblewench, Metalmom, and the irrepressible Sybillaw. Or as I like to call them…The Whores Of Babylon.

They came to our fair town, and checked into the dive lovely motel down the street. Unfortunately, upon arriving here in Bagwine, they had already deemed this fair city a dump! (true) Doodness!!!

I must say, even though some degenerate (George) let them into a SECURE building, AND they tried to break into an elderly lady’s (sorry Betty) apartment, I got them safely into our abode.

The whores took over the house!! I will not reveal their real names, as I’m sure they would like to remain anonymous…but let’s just say THEY WERE THE BEST GUESTS evah.

They brought an abundance of TASTYKAKES, booze, and BOOBIES!! Yea boobies!

I want to thank all three of the whores for coming to our fair city, and partying with me. Not Matt Man. Let’s face it, he was already fucked up (passed out on the floor) when they arrived. I, however, WORKED all day, so was completely sober. Ha!

Anyhoodle, I have now met three, count them three, really cool chicks from the Blogasphere, and I would like to tell you all that they are hawt, smart, and can drink ME under the table.

Thanks you guys for coming our way, staying a while, and liking me more than Matt. Whoo Hoo, Score!!

Cheers Bitches!!


Dana said...

I'm pretty sure there is NOTHING better than Tastykakes and boobies.

Glad y'all had such a great visit!

Anonymous said...

TASTYCAKES! Do they still have red dye #5 and PolySorbate 80? YUM!

Leave it to Matt to totally miss what would have been Epic Debauchery!

If I can ever get the hell out of scratch that...even out of the Asylum, I want to plan a visit!

Just promise me Schmoop, that you will have Matt as hammered as you did this time so you and I could Party!

Jay said...

Another EPIC Bagwine Blowout!

I'm gonna enjoy watching the news and whispers of what happened slowly leak out throughout the next week. ;-)

metalmom said...

Schmoop, you are fucking cool as shit. You are more awesome in person than I could have believed. As for Matt? The video of my booby dance will be proof of his lost opportunities!!!

Love ya girl and the post rocked my ass hard.

Bubblewench said...

Couldn't have summed it up better..rock on Schmoop!

Mike said...

Schmoop, are you videoing this extravaganza?

Matt-Man said...

The rumors are true...It is possible to experience premature intoxication!!

Chris and Bubble: Glad you all had fun, wish I had been here to enjoy it!! Cheers!!

Dana, Jay, Joker: If there are any stories that leak out, they won't involve me unless the are snoring/drooling related. Cheers!!

Mike: I hope so...I'd like to see what I missed. Cheers Mike!!