Tuesday, July 19, 2011

It's Not Just My Hormones That Are Whacked Out!!

So how was your day? Was it a good day, or a bad day? You want to talk about your day? Tough shit. I’m talking about mine.

I came to work at the butt ass crack of dawn on Monday. Yes, butt ass crack of dawn is a phrase. It’s mine, back off.

Seeing as we were shut down last week, I did expect a few, and I mean a few things to be waiting for me. Well, slap my ass, and call me Sally. A few to me means three, not forty.

In my bizness, we are usually seasonal. Meaning, we cater to schools. In case you haven’t noticed, it’s July. 

Why in the hell are you people not on vacation? Why? I thought I would at least have a few more weeks of nothingness.

Then, there is the “curse”, as my sainted Mother used to call it. I am sicker than a dog, and spending half my day in the bathroom. Sorry for the TMI guys, just painting a picture, if you will.

Jesus, I didn't even feel like drinking a beer. Um, I did…but I didn’t feel like it.

I did receive seven new orders, which is great right now. The only thing is, there was something wrong with every fucking one of them, which means I cannot process them until I get all the information they are supposed to send me. Assmunches.

I spent most of the day faxing, and making phone calls, which I hate. Know why? My cohort in crime is off this week, so I actually have to do the work I would gladly pawn off on him.

I’m the office manager, dammit. That is supposed to mean I have princess status in my asbestos filled castle.

It gets better.

Everyone who called or e-mailed, wanted to know where we were last week, and also, where is their mother fucking order? 

Today? I really wanted to say, you know what, I don’t have a clue. Also? I don’t care. I didn’t though. You know why?

I am a true professional, and I lie…a lot.

I guess Bullshit Princess should be my title. I’m bringing that up to the board. Maybe I’ll finally get my wet bar.

The only one who did not piss me off today…was my boss, the man that always manages to make me angry no matter what.

Go figure.

Well, I don’t know about you, but I feel tons better.

Here’s hoping to better days ahead, with sunshine, love, and if I get lucky…unicorns flying out my ass.



Jayman said...

Call in tomorrow and tell them you need a freaking vacation.

Michele said...

I rarely take any vacation for just this reason. I also check my email if I do take vacation so I don't come back to 5000 of them. It makes no sense to me. I deal in rare books. They've been around for a century or more. They are not going anywhere so why people can't wait a freaking week is beyond me.

Beth said...

Jay: You know, I really, really should.

Michele: Oh I know. They get something in their wee little heads that they have to have something right now dammit!

IWS Radio said...

Smack!! Sally. Cheers!!


Beth said...

Matt: Thanks! I needed that.

Raquel's World said...

I enjoyed that and I feel better. It is so good to rant and better to do it here than at work and become unemployed.

Beth said...

Raquel: True dat;)

MysteryChick said...

Mondays suck, the first Monday after vacation sucks donkey balls! Sorry you had a shitty day.

Beth said...

Chick: Ha! You are correct, today is much better.

Mike said...

Ohhhh that's right, this is Monday isn't it? Sometimes... most of the time I forget.

Beth said...

Mike: Very funny Mr. Retirement!