Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Number Nine

I spent an hour and a half Tuesday afternoon, counting to nine, 200 times.

Why you ask? 

Because I guess collation done by a professional printer isn’t as good as collation done by a loser flunky.

That’s all I can figure anyway.

Nine, Nine, Nine, Nine…

I was feeling under the weather on Monday, so I took the day off, and decided to look up my symptoms on the web. Shut up, you do it too!

I think I had a small bout of Malaria. 

Even though I’ve never been to Africa, Asia, or Latin America. I haven’t been bitten by any mosquitoes this year. 

Hell I haven’t been outside except to go to work, the grocery, and the Beer Mine.

Maybe I should have been shopping for quinine? Note to self: Buy quinine.

I didn’t have a lot of the symptoms, but I had some.

Matt-Man probably brought it home from some King Cobra buying degenerate. One of the customers that didn’t want a bag. If you know what I’m saying.

I so could’ve had Malaria! The 24 hour kind. Hypochondriacs, and people with anxiety disorders should never, ever Google symptoms of anything.

Nine, Nine, Nine, Nine…

Zoooooves!!

13 comments:

Mike said...

'counting to nine, 200 times'

So you got to 1800. I think I would have kept on counting to 2000. Just to round things off.

Beth said...

Mike: Ha! I only had so many pages Mike! What are you trying to do, kill me?

I'm With Stupid said...

I think the title of your post sums it all up. You are suffering from a lack of the ol' Number Nine maneuver of the Matt-Man.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

Beth said...

Matt: You could be right;)

MysteryChick said...

Haha! I thought this post was going to be about the "Number 9" special!

I somehow got 7 mosquito bites this weekend so it's probably my fault you got the 24 hour malaria. Oops, my bad!

Beth said...

Chick: If it was up to Matt-Man it would be;) Not you fault my dear, it had to be the King Cobra dude!

Knight said...

Yeah, I know what you mean. Did you know almost anything could be an early symptom of pregnancy? *shudder*

Beth said...

Knight: Bite your tongue woman! I've made it to 45 years young without that disease.

Jay said...

I totally believe you had the 24 version of malaria. I had the 24 hour ebola virus once. Nasty.

Also, every time I look up symptoms on the web I either diagnose myself with lung cancer or Parkinson's.

Beth said...

Jay: See? I knew it was possible. Parkinson's huh? Mine is usually Lou Gehrig's.

bobbybegood1 said...

Poor sweetie. You just like me - OCD BITCH! That's all - nothing more. That's why I believe I would have made a great architect. I go over patterns in my head (repeatedly) all day long. Have been for years. It's a gift. Accept it. Hehe. Cheers B!!

Beth said...

Bobby: I am so getting that printed on a t-shirt;)

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