Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Number Nine

I spent an hour and a half Tuesday afternoon, counting to nine, 200 times.

Why you ask? 

Because I guess collation done by a professional printer isn’t as good as collation done by a loser flunky.

That’s all I can figure anyway.

Nine, Nine, Nine, Nine…

I was feeling under the weather on Monday, so I took the day off, and decided to look up my symptoms on the web. Shut up, you do it too!

I think I had a small bout of Malaria. 

Even though I’ve never been to Africa, Asia, or Latin America. I haven’t been bitten by any mosquitoes this year. 

Hell I haven’t been outside except to go to work, the grocery, and the Beer Mine.

Maybe I should have been shopping for quinine? Note to self: Buy quinine.

I didn’t have a lot of the symptoms, but I had some.

Matt-Man probably brought it home from some King Cobra buying degenerate. One of the customers that didn’t want a bag. If you know what I’m saying.

I so could’ve had Malaria! The 24 hour kind. Hypochondriacs, and people with anxiety disorders should never, ever Google symptoms of anything.

Nine, Nine, Nine, Nine…



Mike said...

'counting to nine, 200 times'

So you got to 1800. I think I would have kept on counting to 2000. Just to round things off.

Beth said...

Mike: Ha! I only had so many pages Mike! What are you trying to do, kill me?

I'm With Stupid said...

I think the title of your post sums it all up. You are suffering from a lack of the ol' Number Nine maneuver of the Matt-Man.



Beth said...

Matt: You could be right;)

MysteryChick said...

Haha! I thought this post was going to be about the "Number 9" special!

I somehow got 7 mosquito bites this weekend so it's probably my fault you got the 24 hour malaria. Oops, my bad!

Beth said...

Chick: If it was up to Matt-Man it would be;) Not you fault my dear, it had to be the King Cobra dude!

Knight said...

Yeah, I know what you mean. Did you know almost anything could be an early symptom of pregnancy? *shudder*

Beth said...

Knight: Bite your tongue woman! I've made it to 45 years young without that disease.

Jay said...

I totally believe you had the 24 version of malaria. I had the 24 hour ebola virus once. Nasty.

Also, every time I look up symptoms on the web I either diagnose myself with lung cancer or Parkinson's.

Beth said...

Jay: See? I knew it was possible. Parkinson's huh? Mine is usually Lou Gehrig's.

bobbybegood1 said...

Poor sweetie. You just like me - OCD BITCH! That's all - nothing more. That's why I believe I would have made a great architect. I go over patterns in my head (repeatedly) all day long. Have been for years. It's a gift. Accept it. Hehe. Cheers B!!

Beth said...

Bobby: I am so getting that printed on a t-shirt;)

Atif Shahzad said...

Nice and beautiful effort, i really appreciate it, also visit
World Tourism