I have two “friends” that make fun of me all the time. They say they aren’t, that it’s all fun, that they love me, and all that disingenuous, craptastic bullshit.
I mean, with friends like these, you don’t need enemies.
Everyone knows them. They’re famous. One lives with me, and one lives in this box they call a computer.
That’s right, my two “friends” are Matt-Man, and Jayman from the I’m With Stupid radio show, and blog.
I should be used to being abused like this. I’ve never been what you’d call bright. I got picked on a lot. Especially when I got boobs in the 4th grade. By boobs, I don’t mean that I needed a training bra. I was 10 and needed a BRA.
Hell, my oldest brother would always tell me growing up that I was adopted. He sometimes still does. Or better yet, tells me I’m the milk man’s daughter. My own sainted Mother would sometimes play along with it too. Or was she playing?
My brother David used to have neighborhood kids pay a quarter when I was a baby because I was a large baby, and my arms, and legs looked like twisted circus balloons. No joke.
Where the hell were my parents?
Who am I kidding. Dad was at work or at the bar, and since I was the sixth kid, Mom didn’t give two hoots. Joke people, I was her favorite, but obviously not at this time!
Sorry, I got off on a tangent....A tangent of pain. Where was I?
Oh yeah, my so called friends.
I don’t have many friends, so I just assumed the ones I did have liked me for me, quirkiness and all. I guess I was mistaken, and I am once again a small child reliving all the taunts, and being a pox on society.
I really don’t understand. I think they are the funniest, most talented, good looking guys out there in blog/radio land.
Ah well, back to hiding in the shadows of my severe mediocrity. Sigh.
Laugh clown, laugh.
Just kidding! These guys are assholes!
PS: I was totally not kidding about the family/childhood thing.