The Day of The Matt in the Year of the Rat

I told you yesterday that I was going to answer some of your questions about my stances on the issues.

However, because I am so humble and very much against tooting my own horn, or engaging in blatant self-promotion, I completely forgot something.

Today is my 43rd birthday…Not to mention the start of the Chinese New Year!! Welcome to the Year of the Rat, everyone.

I have made it to yet another year...

Yep, in spite of drinking Bagwine, smoking, and developing calloused, arthritic hands from growing up masturbating to the bra and underwear models in the JC Penney catalog from working hard, I am still hanging around.

In fact, some things are hanging much lower than ever before.

Sure, there is gray in my goatee, my gums are softer than my rectal discharge after eating eight White Castle Sliders, and I now get turned on by well drawn cartoon chicks, but I’m still kickin’ it.

It all started on a cold winter‘s day in 1965. I was the last of nine kids…Seven boys, two girls, and lots of bruises. I guess the best thing about being the youngest was…

Number 1: I got away with lots o’ stuff because my mom and dad were worn out by the time I came along.

And…

Number 2: I got some fine looking hand me down clothes, not to mention a mod haircut.

Over the more than four decades, I have had some great things happen…

2 Little League MVP trophies (sadly, that was my peak), a two week suspension prior to my sophomore year in High School for hitting the Band Director on the ass with a goose egg.

I have had the privilege of having myself, my dorm room, and my roommate scrutinized by the Secret Service prior to Ronald Reagan’s visit to Bowling Green State University in 1984.

Seems my anti-Reagan rants and homemade cartoons that I posted on the dorm room door were, “worth checking into…for security reasons”

I have had about seven different jobs, one of which included managing a picket line involving 200 hot, angry, striking Hospital nurses in Kentucky…

Oh the “solidarity” I experienced with those nurses during those days (and nights)!!

My greatest contribution has of course been, helping to produce and raise a utterly fantastic young boy...

Who will be certain to point out to me today that I am now 30 years older than him rather than 29 years. What a guy.

Life, thus far, on balance, has been pretty good. I am not quite where I want to be professionally, but I am certain that it won’t be too far off.

And anyway, I live my with my best friend in the world, Schmoop. I have plenty of love in my life, and I have a group of loyal readers who make me laugh everyday.

It doesn’t get much better than that…

With that being said, I would write a bit more, but even though it is my Birthday, I do have a Presidential Campaign to run…

I will be shit faced drunk in and out all day, but please enjoy the party with me. We even have catered refreshments…

Vinny, of Bond’s Big Leather Couch has graciously supplied us all with food and drink in a most amusing way, so stop by his pad by clicking HERE and have some libation.

Desert Songbird has “thrown her door open” (which she does with great frequency I’m told) as well, so swing by and schmooze a little with her. You can ring her doorbell by clicking HERE.

Lastly, a special thanks to the hot, sexy Teutonic Goddess, Sanni, for her most excellent Birthday picture that you see in the upper right of this post. Go check her loveliness out by clicking HERE.

Thanks for stopping by everybody, and remember…It’s Party Time Again in America, so let’s get jiggy with it Bitches!!

Cheers!!

Update 12:23 PM...I guess my site review in the upper right sidebar that I posted this morning was prophetic. The Mittney-Boy is dropping out!!