Glenn Beck Is An Asshole, But He Is Not Who He Appears To Be

I announced back on September 15th the founding of a new political movement called, “The Speleology Coalition”.

It is a coalition of people who politically, are open to new ideas, think for themselves, and are not right or left wing psychopaths.

In my announcement, I discussed Plato’s, Analogy of the Cave.

I talked about how folks who watch, listen, and nod in blind agreement with the likes of Keith Olbermann and Glenn Beck are merely watching shadows on a wall and accepting them as real.

When I wrote that, my mind kept going back to Glenn Beck and what an asshole he is. I knew that he reminded me of someone from the past with whom I was familiar.

However, I couldn’t quite put my finger on who it was. It’s been driving me crazy.

Here’s this guy, Glenn Beck who can emote with tears at the drop of a hat…who can then shut off the waterworks and go on a tirade against non-existent threats to our nation.

Beck will then look into the camera with his empty eyes and speak directly to his legion of Beck-Tards, by channeling and often misquoting Jefferson, Madison, other Founding Fathers, and sometimes even God Almighty.

He is now calling for a day of Prayer and Fasting during Yom Kippur in order to save our Republic. Ha...Like Glenn Beck is going to be able to fast for a day. Freak.

He’s an amalgam of paranoid goof, carnival barker, fear monger, and ratings whore. Most of all, he is simplistic and loose with oh so many facts.

But hey, Beck-Tards don’t mind, even when he calls President Obama a racist. Beck-Tards simply clench their fists and yell: “Damn Right Glenn, Off with his Head!!”

Beck will incite his considerable audience with intellectual gems such as, “President Obama is addicting this country to heroin---the heroin that is government slavery.” Or this one…

“The president has an agenda that is radical, revolutionary, and in some cases, MARXIST!!”

I was still trying to put my finger on the person of whom Beck reminded me, and then, yesterday morning, the clouds blocking my recollection began to part.

I had partially figured it out. He reminded me of a game show host. But which one, I thought.

Bob Barker? Alex Trebek? Or my favorite, Wink Martindale? No, none of those fit the in your face lunacy of Beck, nor do they have that burning hate and fear.

I was trying to think, and then in my head, I could hear the voice of the game show host I was trying to recall saying things like, “You Bastard. Drop Dead!!”…and, “Who loves you, and who do you love?”

And then, the quote that jarred my memory like a juggernaut, fired up my synapses, and involuntarily left my brain, came out of my mouth:

“Hello, this is Killian. Give me the Justice Department, Entertainment Division.” And it hit me…

Holy Cow…Glenn Beck is Damon Killian!!

Damon Killian was the game show host character that Richard Dawson played in the Schwarzeneggar movie, The Running Man.

Killian and Beck are cut from the same oil cloth. They both play upon fear and the worst and basest instincts of people. And it doesn’t matter to them, only the ratings do.

As Killian said, and I can hear it coming from Beck’s mouth as well:

“This is television, that's all it is. It has nothing to do with people, it's to do with ratings!!”

Hey Beck…I’ll Be Back, and one other thing. Suck It!!

Cheers!!

*For those of you interested, Jay-Man has written a brilliantly funny post that offers advice to my slacker son. You can click HERE to read it. Thanks Jay!!

*Holy Crap, one other thing...My nephew and his wife, Jamie, are in California today. She made it on to Jeopardy and they are taping today. The show will air the week of October 19th. Wish her Luck!!