Desultory Thoughts on a Tuesday

Yesterday at approximately 7:45 A.M., I posted that my weight had dropped from 184 pounds to 174 pounds.

Well lo and behold, between 7:45 A.M. and arriving at my Doctor’s appt. at 9:30 A.M., I had miraculously gained six pounds. The nurse weighed me in at the office at 180.

Yes, the scale at the Bagwine digs is obviously weighing users six pounds less than they actually are. Ha. I had a smile on my face all day at work in anticipation of passing on this fact to Schmoop.

At 4:15 yesterday afternoon my smile became reality as I told her about this finding. She quickly went into an apoplectic fit.

Quickly, her concern over my “rapid and monumental“ weight loss transformed into shock over her instantaneous six pound weight gain.

I tried to soothe Schmoop by telling her that her 5’7” inch frame looked just as good lugging around a more generous and robust 136 pounds as it did while walking on air at a more svelte 130 pounds.

Oddly enough my words of comfort did not help…

Carrie Prejean’s book comes out today.

Yes folks, Still Standing by Carrie Prejean is there for the taking.

Appearing on Sean Hannity’s show while humping her book last night, she talked about the sex tape she had made that ultimately forced her to drop her lawsuit against the Miss California pageant officials.

Prejean told Hannity that she was a mere teenager when she made an Auto-Erotic video for a boyfriend for whom she truly loved and cared.

She knows now it was mistake and it is an embarrassment to her especially considering she is a self-professed follower of Christ.

I have a couple of questions…She said that she was a teenager when she made this tape. Was she an adult of 19 or a minor of say, 17?

Either way, it’s not good, and in one scenario is probably technically a case of disseminating child porn.

Maybe she would be better off if she said that she made the tape in order to honor God for supplying her with such a hot bod. She could re-title her book:

Masturbating for the Messiah: Carrie Prejean’s Road to Salvation and Self-Fulfillment.

Lastly…

A Maudlin Alert!! Tomorrow is Veteran’s Day in the U.S.A. The blogosphere will be alive with the sound of lip service and “impassioned” tributes to those who have served in our Armed Services.

In general, Veterans’ Day (and Memorial Day) posts make me wretch.

The majority of posts that pay homage to servicemen and women are no more than a series of blurbs that are empty, self-placating attempts of people to show how much they “care” about those in the military.

Why do people feel compelled to do this? Hell, do what the vast majority of Americans do and put a magnetic ribbon on the back of your car that reads, “I Support The Troops”. Now THAT is moving…literally.

A warning to all…tomorrow, after seeing, In Flanders Fields posted for the 38th time...

I am going to stick hot knitting needles in my eyes, plunge my head into a pot of boiling water, and smoke a pack of Basic Full Flavor until my right lung explodes and I die.

Maybe the death of one, can save the memory and the honest reverance of those who have served.

Cheers!!