Sitting By The Reflecting Gene Pool

I mentioned briefly in a comment to someone the other day that I hadn’t been able to get ‘round to some of my fave reads of late.

It’s because I have been not only spending more time with my kid, but of late I can’t seem to get him off of my mind when I am home during the day.

Ryno just turned 14 last month, and he is in a word, a hoot. The boy kills me. He’s a burgeoning comedic genius.

He can spot the humor in the smallest everyday things, in other people, and most importantly, in himself.

He has troubles in school. Not because he isn’t smart as hell, which he is, he just would rather socialize and well, not feel the need to turn things in from time to time.

Irritating? Incredibly. But, it is a cross that his mom and I have to bear and deal with from time to time…and school year to school year.

And we do.

Other than that major annoyance along with his inability to remember or relay messages that don’t directly affect him, he’s the best.

The one thing that he does focus upon with the acuteness of a laser beam, is basketball.

He was named one of two captains, and will be the starting small forward for his 8th grade team.

All 5’7”, 125 pounds of him will be the go to scorer for his team this season. The boy can flat out shoot.

His coach, unfortunately did unto me a disservice of sorts. He nicknamed Ryno, “The Masterpiece.”

I asked the R-Man why his coach calls him that and he said…

“Coach told me the other day, that my stroke (shot delivery) was the best he has ever seen. Like a painter painting a masterpiece.”

The name, “The Masterpiece” stuck, and now what am I stuck with?

A 14 year old ego that has become larger than all the heads on Mt. Rushmore combined. My answer to that?

I play him one-on-one and he still can’t beat me…yet.

I guess I would worry about him getting an annoyingly huge head, but he always reassures me with his finely tuned sense of self-deprecating humor.

When I see those things in him, I smile, because I know that he gets both his ego and his ability to bring himself back down to earth through humor, from me.

As I mentioned, he has been on my mind quite a bit of late. I think it’s because, as he gets older, I can see more and more of me in him.

It's as though I am staring into a reflecting pool. I see his youthful face and the ripples in the water all wash back to me.

And, I love it, except for one thing.

He is starting to develop a bit of a formidable and strong willed feeling of independence, just as I did at his age…

Dear God, help us all.

Cheers!!

Earth Day Minus One: Here's To You, Sexy Lady

Tomorrow is Earth Day, and the Matt-Man is goin’ green.

And, I am going entirely green not only on Earth Day, but I will be environmentally correct clear through Friday.

And why shouldn’t I? I feel compelled to celebrate our Mother Earth.

I need to show my thanks to that sexy lady who holds us in her bosom of air, water, crust, and liquid hot magma.

She’s a woman, who at her central core, burns with the passion of Cleopatra, and on her surface, yields the beauty of Helen of Troy.

Our Mother Earth, a fickle female of fauna and flora who sometimes unleashes her pre-menstrual fury in the form of tornados, floods, and locusts.

I do love this sexy, oblique spheroid of a woman so.

So to celebrate her womanly wiles, I will be using little or no water, energy, or hygiene products.

I will save precious water, starting with my toilet.

If I have to take a leak, or pinch a loaf, I will use my toilet, but not flush. My bodily discharges shall float and cavort in the bowl until Friday.

As for toilet paper? I will re-use the same 15 sheets over the coming days.

I will not waste water and energy by taking long, hot showers.

I will instead, refuse to bathe all week, and save those resources for future generations.

My meals will go uncooked. Instead, I will feed upon cans of cold, Chef Boyardee Ravioli and Beefaroni.

That should make my non-toilet flushing practice very colorful, and very life-threatening profound.

I am not going to waste butane or gas from the stove to light my cigarettes.

Instead, at 7 A.M. today, I will be lighting a cigarette and then chain smoking non-stop until Friday, using the last smoke to light the next.

I am going to enjoy doing my part to give thanks to our Mother Earth…

She’s a lady that has given us the breathtaking expanse of the Grand Canyon, the excitement and beauty of a smoldering volcano, and most impressively…

In astounding geologic prophecy, she meticulously carved the heads of four future Presidents atop an obscure mountain in South Dakota eons ago.

She is simply amazing, and I love her.

I wish you a Happy Earth Day, and if you’d like to stop by and enjoy the splendor and aroma of my sacrifice and celebration, feel free.

Have a lovely, and hopefully, very green Monday all.

Cheers!!