Mondays Are a Pain in the Neck

I am not particularly fond of Mondays because I am usually worn out from the weekend. I did have plenty of fun on Saturday, but yesterday I just kinda coasted. I went to see my son who had just returned from his vacation that he went on with his uncle and his family. We watched the DVD of him swimming with the dolphins at Discovery Cove and talked about the fun that he had. We just hung out for awhile.

Upon returning home I popped open a bottle of Rose, had a few hors d’oeuvres and watched the Reds game and some of the Little League World Series. Turned the sound down and watched as I listened to my Mark Knopfler/Emmylou Harris CD. I was taking it easy so I wouldn’t feel like death come Monday morning.

Later in the evening, I had some wonderfully prepared Spaghetti, courtesy of Chef Schmoop. Those of you who have read me for awhile know that I am losing weight by avoiding carbs, but hey it was the first time in ages that I had eaten pasta, and it was damn good.

Upon a little news watching and digestion, I settled in to bed early. I was so excited that at least THIS Monday would not be so ugly. With a smile upon my face, I soon fell asleep.

Several hours later I was gently awaken by the chirping of a happy Cardinal and a bladder that was engorged. Before I got out of bed, I laid there thinking, “Wow, no hangover, well-rested, and it’s Monday!!” And then as I arose, “Ouch, holy shit !!” I discovered that I was the new owner of an incredibly painful neck cramp. The whole left side of my neck is frozen stiff, from the top of my shoulder to the base of my brain. I have to turn my entire body around if I want to look the other way. It’s just not fair; I had been so well behaved.

I figure that no matter what I do, Monday is always gonna kick my ass. So next Sunday, back to the basics. I am going to drink four fifths of Rose, tea bag a half dozen hookers, and eat three big ass burgers (without buns of course) with a side bacon. Monday is one tough SOB, so before I meet it again next week, I am going to do what I do best.

And Now…Our Moment of Hinn:

“What was the appearance of God the Father? Like that of a man... God has the likeness of fingers and hands and a face.”

--Benny Hinn