I am emotionally spent from the big weekend, so I am just kinda phoning it in today. I like brevity, and yesterday’s post was anything but. So I offer to you today, “Things People Should Know NOT To Do”:
John Wayne Gacy, Lee Harvey Oswald, James Earl Ray, John Wilkes Booth, John Mark Karr….Parents to be, listen up. DO NOT let your children go through life being called by all three names, the results are not good.
Hey all you manly middle aged pervs. Have you not seen enough police stings in the news? If you go online to set up a date to have sex with someone who claims to be a smokin’ hot 14 year old, chances are that it is really a 41 year old cop. Oh you’ll have sex alright, but it will be with your cell mate, Big Larry.
Mothers, fathers, doting aunts, and uncles, I beg of you. Quit showing pictures of your six hour old baby. They’re NOT cute. Sure some babies become cute over time, but at six hours old they are discolored, wrinkled, and still dripping amniotic fluid, keep the “cuteness” to yourselves.
How many times do I have to tell you? No, I don’t want to watch the videotape of your wedding.
Lastly, Never and I mean NEVER….aw shoot time to go.
And Now Our Moment of Hinn:
"I do admit there have been times when I have made a statement that was incorrect."
--Benny Hinn
5 comments:
Hey, my six hour old babies were fuckin awesome, I tell you! :) Well... my son was considerably more wrinkled. He was also jaundiced. So... nevermind. lol
And a note about the three name deal- I know you were trying to be sarcastic, but a lot of those names, like Oswald's, were not put together until they were identified by the police, mostly because the killers had multiple aliases or identities. :)
Uh oh ... one of my good acquaintances (more of an enemy than a friend) from undergrad went by his three-word name.
I'm going to hide under the bed now.
Be very afraid Justin, and please tell me that you're not an OSU football fan.
Allie, you insist on making me want to "Rex Kwon Do" on you dontcha?
Allie D: Fact Checker
:-p
Matt-man: don't forget other scary 3-namers like Sarah-Jessica Parker and Hilary Rodham Clinton :)
Okay, this is the best I could do... don't make me go all Sarah Michelle Gellar on yo ass!
Post a Comment