Dude, Where's My Tussy?

Ahhhh, another Monday. My posting today will be brief because I feel like crap. I began to feel lousy late Saturday afternoon. My stomach got upset as I watched those godless heathens from Ann Arbor, Michigan destroy my beloved Notre Dame Fightin’ Irish. The only good thing that happened during the game was that, mercifully, the cable went out for awhile. God must have wanted to bring my cussing tirade to an end.

Yesterday went relatively well. The Bengals rolled to victory, and I got a call from Joe Hair Care. He has graciously given me the okay to convey yet another humiliating story about him that I will put forth in the coming days. He did have a bit of bad news as well. He has looked and looked and it appears that “Tussy” deodorant is no longer on the market. Sad, indeed.

I did not get to enjoy any hot sex this weekend unless you count the ménage a trois I had with Jessica Alba and Eva Longoria during an early Sunday morning dream. Unfortunately, as I was getting to the good part, Eva and Jessica turned into Star Jones and Ann Coulter. Frightened and disturbed does not begin to do justice in describing the feelings that overcame me; however, I was pleased that I was able to get most of the vomit out of the carpet.

One bit of good news. My weight loss program has hit a new mark. After beginning several months ago at roughly 255, I am now officially less than 200 lbs. I weighed in Saturday morn at 199. The news of this thrilled me so much that it made me want to eat something healthy, so yesterday I made a big salad using a nice bag of fresh spinach. I don’t know how to describe it, other than it tasted like shit, and now I don’t feel so well.

But I want to end today’s post on a high note. One of my brothers has designed a logo for my site and I received it in the mail Saturday. It captures the essence of “Bagwine Ruminations” perfectly. Hopefully I can give you a preview of it this week. Within a few weeks “Bagwine” merchandise will be available to all, filling the demand that the public has been clamoring about.

Until the ‘morrow….Cheers!!

And Now, Our Moment of Hinn

“I use Hypnosis Techniques to people feel better at my crusades.”

--Benny Hinn (Ed. Note: "people feel"?...WTF)

Tussy Update!!!!!!!!!

Hey Hair Care, it still exists, now go getcha some...