You Forgot Poland...

Today, our fearless decider-in-chief will be addressing the United Nations. He’s not answering light weight questions from reporters in the cozy confines of the Rose Garden. He’s not addressing a group of elementary school kids in French Lick, Indiana. He is addressing the entire planet. I have one question. Who in the hell on his staff thought that this was “a heckuva idea”?

Hasn’t this man done enough damage for now? I mean it’s one thing to go on National television and alienate the majority of Americans by turning the 9-11 anniversary into a mid-term election ad, but is it necessary to go upon the world stage and threaten the globe with his brand of “democratization”?

I worry about the utterances that might spew from that wound beneath his nose. Hell, since it is an address to the entire spheroid, I can envision him opening his speech with, “Greetings, Fellow Earthlings”. And then speak out about the Iranian nuke issue with the following:

“Countries such as ours have an obligation to step up, working together, sanding, sending a common message, to the Iranians, that, uhh, uhh -- that it's -- the behavior -- kind of -- trying to -- uhh, clandessintly develop a nukyular weapon, or using the guise of a civilian nukyular weapon program to get the know-how to develop a nukyular weapon is unacceptable.”

The unfortunate thing about that statement is that it is an actual quote!! Oh, dear Lord, clandessintly?

I just hope he doesn’t try to pronounce the Iranian President’s name. “Emmm-ah-mowed…um…Ah-grrr-meserrized, screw it I’ll just refer to the towel-head as Haji. Got sand, Haji?” ……Oh, the humanity.

Of course he may extend an olive branch to the Iranians by saying this, “This notion that the United States is getting ready to attack Iran is simply ridiculous, and having said that, all options are on the table.” In other words, we aren’t going to attack you, but hey, maybe we will. In fact we are not a nation that’s into imposing our values on others. As Dubya, once said, “The United States has no right, no desire, and no intention to impose our form of government on anyone else. That is one of the main differences between us and our enemies.” Oh, that’s rich…Dubya’s a scream!!

Naturally, G-Dub will want to close his speech by showing his softer, more compassionate side. He could re-use this old quote to close his oration, “God loves you, and I love you. And you can count on both of us as a powerful message that people who wonder about their future can hear.” I’m sure Haji will feel the love with that statement. Hell, Mr. President, why not have Herr Pope come up on stage with you to give a parting blessing to the masses. Why oh why do I worry so?

I guess I worry because I’m an American. I am by no means some rabid, gun totin’, jingoistic, flag waving, mo fo, but I am glad that I live here; however, far too often he pisses me off, but most of the time, President Numbnuts just embarrasses the crap out of me.

With that, I bid you Cheers…

And Now Our Moment of Hinn,

Ladies and Gentlemen, The President of the United States

“I trust God speaks through me. Without that, I couldn't do my job.”

--George W. Bush