All Hail The Orator-in-Chief!!

My sources in Washington D.C. have obtained a copy of the stump speech that Dubya will be using in the final days leading up to the elections. In a Bagwine exclusive, I offer the transcript to you….

My Fellow Amurricans:

There are only a few days before the mid-term elections, and the security of our great country lies in the ballast. We has made great progress against the turrorists, and are on the cup of seeing a free Iraq. We must not switch boats as we fly along over the middle of a stream. There are folks out there that would like to do us harm. Folks who want to use chemical, nukyular, and scatological weapons on y’all. Voting for a Democrat will allow the turrorists to gain a foot hole in our great country, and threaten the lives of every man, woman, child, and even fetus, provided the Democrats haven’t aborted them all by then.

Our brave fighting men and women in Iraq hads success in not only turning that country into a free and peaceful place, but also success in enforcing the 24/7 curfew upon the Iraqi people. Tell me that’s not progress. Soonly enough the world will be free of all Islamo-Fasticks. Our well-thinked out strategery is paying off.

Back here in our neck of the woods, the economy is boomin’, and the export of goods and jobs is never been greater. We have not been attacked in over five years, but tonight I must tell you that we have vague and inocluos intelligence indicating that a shadowy and unidentified turror group is planning an attack against America, at an misindeterminite location. If we are to thoowart this attack, it is impurlative that me, the Republican Party, and God Almighty stay in power.

We have given you not only security but compassion as well. Our seniors and our youth are benefiting from new Republican legislation. Seniors across Amurrica have been greatly helped by our “Food for Medicine Exchange Program”. Our children is protected by sweeping missing and exploited legislation, such as the “Leave No Child’s Behind Act”. The values of Hastert, Frist, and Foley stand as an impenetrated bull work against the threat of Liberal Godlessness.

Whenever day is the day that you vote this election, be sure to say no to the pedophiles and turrorists…the liberals and the leftists, by going to your Diebold representative and telling him that you are voting Republican….Twice!!

Thank You, And God Bless Amurrica

And Now Our Moment of Motto…

Maine: “One Syllable is Plenty”