Lizza of “I Am Woman See Me Blog” has requested that I participate in a meme. I am to write down nine things about myself that are weird. Now, those of you who know me are probably wondering how I could possibly come up with nine weird things about myself. It will be tough, but I’ll give it a try.At least once a week while I am sleeping, I dream of tornados. I don’t know if that indicates that my life is twisted and chaotic, or if I am fantasizing about getting a blow job from Mother Nature.
I love to ride roller coasters, but I am afraid to ride Ferris Wheels and Ski Lifts. With a roller coaster, the ride is so fast that you don’t have time to think about dying. Even if something went awry, your death would be instant. The other two slowly hover above the ground making squeaky sounds…The sounds of imminent death.
I am a huge fan of ABBA, and have been since I was kid. Oddly, my least favorite song is the wretched “Dancing Queen”. I guess I just dig the sound of Bjorn pounding on the piano with Wagnerian fury, while watching Frida and Agnaetha rock their hips and move their lips. Rock on Benny and Bjorn, Rock on.
I can’t stand pork chops. Why is this weird? I love bacon, sausage, pork roast, and ham…nearly every part of the pig, EXCEPT pork chops. I think it’s because my Mom wasn’t very good at making pork chops. They were all gristly and dry as hell. I guess it would be akin to eating a Peanut Butter sandwich using two huge arid rice cakes instead of bread, and having nothing around to drink.
I do nearly everything right handed, except writing and eating which I do left handed. And, I only eat with my left hand when I am using utensils. If I pull some fries off of a plate or potato chips out of a bag I do that right handed as well. I guess there is one other thing I do left handed, but well, never mind. That’s for another post.
I truly believe that religion, political bent, race, nationality, sexual orientation, etc. do not matter. I believe life is as simple as realizing that there are only two types of people. You’re either an asshole or not. Rudimentary philosophy, but it works for me.
Except for a brief trip to a strip bar in Windsor, Ontario, Canada some 20 years ago, I have never been out of the country. I have no urge really, but a trip to Ireland would be cool. I would be able to tell the story of how I threw up outside of a pub in Dublin.
Back when my teeth were strong and I was eating white bread, I loved to make a sandwich using bologna, cottage cheese, and Cheetos…Yum-Oh!!
I actually do enjoy Wild Irish Rose, and I am also a shapeshifter.
I did it…nine oddball things about the Matt-Man. Feel free to advertise your own inner-weirdness on your blog.
Cheers…
12 comments:
Man, it's amazing how many of those things I could relate to.
I also hate Dancing Queen. I'm also mostly right handed but write (and uh...) with my left, I love rollercoasters but HATE squeaky carnival rides, and I also often dream of tornadoes.
Although my most prominent dream is of being stuck in spiderwebs. Which might indicate that I feel stuck in my existing life or I like being covered in sticky stuff.
BAM!
Oh shit... I think I owe Joe Haircare for that.
Hmmmmm sticky stuff, eh? Do not ever owe Joe, ever. He would demand your soul...or perhaps if you had a nice hot oil treatment for his hair lying around he would settle for that.
Bologna, cottage cheese and cheetos...
Isn't it amazing some of the concoctions we come up with? When I was single, I could make a meal out of ramen noodles mixed with cottage cheese and tuna. Gross, but good.
Something you'd NEVER make when a significant other is around, but everyone once in a while I get the craving...
Sounds good. When I was a kid I would make Yellow Mustard sandwiches. Just a ton of mustard between two pieces of bread. Mmmmm...Bologna, Mayo and Green Olives is good too.
I too love roller coaster, but I am afraid of the rides that are high and slow (which may explain why I don't smoke pot anymore).
You can't beat the Dorito sandwich...mayo and doritos on white bread. MMM (again, why I don't smoke pot anymore!!)
Ha....Very good, and damn that Dorito sandwich sounds like a keeper, aisby!!
I've dreamt about being sucked in a tornado's funnel. I wonder what that means.
And I basically agree with your asshole-not asshole philosophy. But we're all assholes at one time or another, aren't we? :-)
Thanks for playing, Matt!
Pee Wee Herman makes me nervous but his voice calms me. What does that mean?
LOL....You're on a roll Joey Boy.
Great stuff, Matt-Man! I'll have to post on this tomorrow. I've had one of those days where I managed to spend lots of time online, but no time blogging! Bad, bad, blogger.
Ok, I'm going to blog about this in a future post, but my *favorite* weird food combination was macaroni, tabasco sauce, and parmesan cheese. Love that tabasco sauce....
Also loved your description of the squeaky sounds of imminent death.
And I think your tornado dreams mean that you subconsciously want me to photoshop you into Dorothy from the Wizard Of Oz.
Macaroni and Cheese can make ANYTHING tatse good...I can see that you're idea about Dorothy was correct, why I oughta!!
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