Paco's Packin' Heat

By STEPHEN OHLEMACHER, Associated Press Writer

WASHINGTON - The nation's population officially hit 300 million at 7:46 a.m. EDT Tuesday, when the Census Bureau's population clock rolled over to the big number.

This headline amazes me. The Census Bureau “knows” exactly when the 300 millionth birth took place. Okay, they do leave themselves some room for error, but their confidence is high. They even think that it probably took place in the southwest United States to parents of “Hispanic” descent.

Doesn’t logic dictate that if they know when the birth took place that they know when the hot sex took place to produce it? The crack staff of Bagwine Ruminations has been able to review the top secret findings of the Census Bureu. It reads:

“On January 17, 2006 at 7:38 a.m., at 615 N. Wanker Street in Taos, NM., Paco Del Fuego grabbed his wife, Selena, from behind as she was making tocino and huevos. He fondled her ample breasts and began to slide her robe off of her. She let loose the spatula and lay spread eagle on the floor. Paco, gave her a lick and promise and hurriedly mounted her, as he was late for work. Eight minutes later at 7:46 a.m., Selena’s egg had been fertilized; however, her huevos in the skillet had been burnt beyond recognition. As he raced out the door, Paco said something about if it’s a boy we’ll name him Hernando, and if a girl, Prudence.”

--End of Report--
Filed by Census Agent #234-R-NM, aka, “Pinky”

I tell ya, now that’s some kind of intelligence operation. If the Census Bureau had been in charge of foreign intelligence, we wouldn’t be in the quagmnire that we are in Iraq. And we would know exactly how many Iraqis there are. Hats off to the fine men and women of the Census Bureau.

And Now Our Moment of Motto…

North Dakota: “Just Like Hell, Only Frozen”

P.S. There's a new addition to the Other Vineyards area on the side bar. Make sure you check out Lizza. She's funny, articulate, and loves her beer...I deem her Rose worthy!!