Green Beer, Birthdays, and Wedding Vows

I had a great epiphany over this past weekend, March of 2007 is gonna be one heck of a month!! First of all, St. Paddy’s Day falls on a Saturday this year. How good is that!? I‘ll tell you how good it is…It’s as good as being the meat in a Tyra Banks and Jenna Jameson sandwich…Talk about enjoying some marble rye!! Okay maybe it’s not that good, but it’s close.

You see, when St. Patrick’s Day falls on a weekday, it is kind of a bother. By the time the workday is over, the bars around here are always packed. And I mean packed wall to wall, it’s kinda not so fun. When it falls on a weekend, I can get up that morning down some coffee, and be on a barstool eating ham and eggs and washing it down with green beer by 8:15 A.M. At noon I can eat some beef stew with my green beer. And later around 5 P.M. as they begin to serve corned beef and cabbage, I can peacefully lay in my booth, holding my 8th pitcher of green beer, and pass out as I piss down my leg, leaving a stain on my crotch, a puddle at my feet, and warm feeling all over my body…Good Times.

Another big thing going on that month is that Thursday, March 22nd; the Matt-Man is boarding a plane and heading off to our nation’s capital. I will be spending the weekend in Washington, D.C. in order to attend a nephew’s funeral wedding. Madcap, wacky, and civil suit, are just some of the words that come to mind when I think about my family getting together in downtown D.C. Listen up Phoenix Park Hotel; make sure the insurance premiums have been paid up, because when my clan gets there we are going to knock D.C. off of its newly arrived vernal equinox.

I will be getting back to Bagwine, Ohio the following Sunday just two days before the last big event of March 2007. You see on Tuesday the 27th of March, Schmoop will no longer BE 40, she will be IN her 40’s as she will be turning 41. My, my where do the years go. I know I could say that you’re not getting older, Schmoop, you’re getting better, but you are getting older, and as far as getting better, well that depends on one’s outlook. If you consider that the list of the people in this world that you want dead increases every day, than yes you are getting better. In any event it will be a fun day.

So there you have it folks, March is going to be one hell of a fun month, and the best thing is that it will probably lead to some very interesting Bagwine posts in April!! By the way, if any of you fine female fans of Bagwine Ruminations, are in the area at that time, give me a call. Maybe we can get together, go see the Capitol, and then head back to my room for a little filibustering!!

Cheers…