Pugilistic Armageddon, Ding Ding

Some of you are familiar with my disdain for certain evangelical TV “preachers”. I loathe the phoniness and unethical practices of people such as Paul and Jan Crouch, Rod Parsley, Paula White, and of course Benny Hinn just to name a few. Their practice of taking money for salvation is a joke; unfortunately it is the finances of innocent people that is the punch line.

If you check my left sidebar you will see a grouping that deals with TBN, the Trinity Broadcast Network. I had gone on an anti-evangelical tirade a little while back. I was amused when I saw that folks from TBN, Parsley’s World Harvest Church, and Benny Hinn Ministries were checking out my site. I said nothing of it, but was privately amused. But now, things have changed and Matt-Man is calling them out. It’s GO TIME!!
While looking at my site stats yesterday, I came across this info on one of my visitors:

Visitor Information: Visitor Information: 208.XX.XXX.XXX (BENNY HINN US)[ Label Visitor] Location: GRAPEVINE, TEXAS, UNITED STATES ( QWEST.NET)
Top of Form 1
Bottom of Form 1
Possible Visitor Labels: Benny Last Visit Time: January 08, 2007 3:22:05 PM Length of this Visit: 0 hours and 0 minutes
Page Viewed This Visit: 1 Returning Visits: 0 Entry Page: http://bagwine.blogspot.com/2007/01/lets-take-trip-in-wayback-machine.html
Exit Page: http://bagwine.blogspot.com/2007/01/lets-take-trip-in-wayback-machine.html Referrer: No referrer

That’s right folks, Benny Hinn is back. Now, I don’t know what made him return. Was it the fact that I mentioned Henny Youngman yesterday? Or was it because he’s a fan of the old Rocky and Bullwinkle Show and Googled “wayback machine”? Actually I guess it’s neither, because there is no referrer. So, guess what that means…The Matt-Man is on Benny Hinn’s list of favorite Blogs!!! Who’d a thunk it!? Benny digs Bagwine, or does he? Maybe he is performing not-so-covert surveillance upon me. Maybe he has it out for me. Listen Hinn, you wanna piece of me? Huh? Do Ya!? Well bring it on.

I challenge you to a boxing match of biblical proportions. Anytime, anywhere. Hell, we can hold it in the Holy Land. “Matt-Man vs. Benny: Gettin’ Gruesome in Jerusalem”…We can make a few bucks (which I know you’re not averse to) by having the fight promoted by Don King of Kings. I can hear it now, “In this corner from Grapevine, Texas and the realm of the Supernatural, Benny “I know me, and those close to me know me. But sadly, the outside world thinks I'm some kind of a crook.” Hinnnnnnn. And in this corner, from Bagwine, Ohio, Matt “The Iron Liver” Mannnnnnn.

It has possibilities Benny. We could even use Rod Parsley as the ring announcer. Despite the big head and ears, Rod does have that slick, sleazy, third rate lounge singer look. I’ll even let him throw Miracle Anointing Cloths to the crowd. You may want to have one in your corner as well, because I could beat the be-jeezus out of you, although granted, there probably isn’t much Jesus to beat out of ya. Ha…If you want to do this, see if Paul and Jan Crouch will broadcast it on TBN, just for that night we’ll call it the Trinity Boxing Network.

Oh, one thing you may want to keep in mind. There’s only going to be one judge for the fight and that’s God, so you may want make certain which of us he will judge more favorably before you hop in the ring with me. My prediction KO by Matthew Chapter 7 Verse 15. Boo Yah!!

Note: If you have the time folks (and that includes you, Hinn) please nominate me for Best New or Best Humor Blog for the annual Bloggie awards you can nominate my site by clicking HERE. Thanks and Cheers!!