Streaming Friday !!

It’s Stream of Consciousness Friiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiday…Let’s get this party started with a song. If I were a Fender guitar, a Fender painted red. You could play me darlin’ until your fingers bled. If I were one of those Gibson’s a 58 or 9. You could plug me in and play me anytime….Thank you Mr. Knopfler.

I am the substitute coach for my son’s basketball team tonight. The league is sponsored by a Christian youth organization. Hell it’s Friday night, I think I’ll go all Bobby Knight on them and throw chairs, smack the kids, and cuss out the parents…fun for all!! If perchance I hit the Wild Irish Rose prior to the game I’ll be showing up more like Dennis Hopper’s character from the film “Hoosiers”. Oh well, as long as we win. Son of a bitch!! I woke up with several scratches on the back of my left thigh…It hurts like hell, and I have no idea what it’s from…maybe a mutated bed bug, who knows?

One time back in college, I met this hot babe at a party and lobbied my way into her bed. As I was performing the down south nasty on her I fell, asleep. Yep, right there with my snoring face buried in her hoo ha!! I have always wondered, which one of us should be more embarrassed? I also remember going to a Homecoming party one year. We had to get dressed up. My date showed up in a bright red taffeta bridesmaid dress. Oh the horror!! I referred to her as Tomato Lady from that night forward. I had Cranberry juice this morning, dee-lish.

I can’t remember how many times that has happened, but I know it’s been quite a few. Strange…Anyway, I wonder how the Pope is doing? I bet he eats well. I wonder if he masturbates, and if he does who does he think about? The Virgin Mother? Mary Magdalene? Josef Goebbels? I need to know, damn it!! Can’t wait to go to my nephews wedding in D.C. in March…I’m gonna be downing a myriad of crabcakes, Yum-Oh!! Can you imagine the scowl on Dick Cheney’s face when he’s banging his wife!? “Arrrgh Lynne, I am not withdrawing from your vagina, no matter how badly things are going…Stay the course Bitch...Feel My Surge!!” Ewwwww…nasty. Pop pop, goo goo.

What say all of you? Got big plans this weekend? My highlight will be screaming at the 12 and 13 year old boys tonight. I wouldn’t do that. Song sing blue, everybody knows one. It’s windy here today. One time Haircare gave me a condom in case I got lucky over the weekend. It has this stuff on it to prevent premature emissions. I used and it worked, but much too well. It was embarrassing walking around campus with a hard on for three days. I think I finally exploded on the third night while watching a rerun of Laverne and Shirley…How sad. Gotta Peeeeeeeee….

Have a great weekend all, spend it with your lover, some olive oil, and a box of Fruit Roll-Ups…Cheers!!