It’s Stream of Conciousness Friiiiiiiiiiiiiiiday and it’s 6 degrees below zero!! Brrrrrrrrr. But it is a dry cold so…Pfffft. Sweetman has a basketball game tonight. He scored 10 points last week. I wish that I could find a way to bottle all of Tim Hardaway’s hate and turn it into a love potion. Dang, I would be getting laid every damn day. Yowza!!Five days until I go meat free for forty some days. No bacon, no hamburger, no SPAM!! Dear God what have I wrought? Mmmmmmm black beans with chilies, tomatoes, and corn…that’s what I have wrought. Yum-OH!! I am going to report back to all of you on a new Wild Irish Rose flavor that is now available in frozen Bagwine, Ohio. The gas station that I go to now has pints of WIR Sour Apple. I may pick up one tonight and take it to my son’s game at the church where he plays. Okay, maybe not. Onward Christian Soldier marching as to….excuse me, I just burped Cranberry juice. Ewwwww bitterly sour.
I can’t believe my son referred to me as “Reverend Killjoy” yesterday. The little shit is becoming too much like me too soon. I bet it really annoys his mom. More snow tomorrow, which means more confinement, which means more Rose consumption, which in turn means a drunken impaired pecker. WIR and I truly have a love hate relationship. I think I may be the father of Anna Nicole Smith’s baby. Or maybe it was Jayne Mansfield…no, she’s been dead for years. Well I bet I am the father of some big blonde’s baby. Most of my sexual encounters are drunken affairs, hell, it’s possible that I could have slept with Star Jones…I think I’m gonna be sick now.
Roll on Big-O, get that juice up to Lawson’s in forty hours. I have this urge to go outside and take a leak just to see how fast it freezes. I am a scientist at heart, always looking for important answers to serious questions. Matt von Braun, yep that’s me. Shaka Zulu!! Has Lindsay Lohan dried out yet? Will anyone really be able to tell if she’s sober or drunk? While “Having Sex with Mom” and “Non-Surgical Circumcision” remain far and away the most popular Google referrers to my site, I saw a new one this morning. It read “Candle Wax on Son’s Penis”…WTF…I feel so cheap and tawdry. My entries are so much above that.
Wow…my stomach is making some disturbing noises. It sounds like Bob Dylan singing, on a bad night no less. Well folks my brain runneth dry so I guess I should vamoose. Have a lovely weekend. Spend it applying hot oil to the ass of someone that you lust for. See ya’ll Monday…Cheers!!
19 comments:
Sour apple??? yuck! So sorry its so cold..your monkey feels warm tho....I will never go meat free btw.
Peace and stay warm!
My monkey says thanks. I had trouble with the meat free Lent last year but it was no problem after about a week or so. Have a great weekend Odat!!
I might not get back here before you leave work for the weekend, so I thought I'd better leave a quick comment rather than let you think I'm not loving you anymore.
Have a warm weekend; try not to imbibe too much, and give the boys some exercise of you can.
Love ya - mwah!
Why thanks for the kind words of encouragement for my boys!! A big ol' Bagwine Smooch and Hug to ya Songbird. Cheers!!
Ohhhhhh Tokyo,
You got your saki and sashimi
and you clean sheets,
come on up
HA...JOOOOE, How many of your students are missing from the pearl diving school?
I keep reading about this bad weather in the states. It is a balmy 50 degrees here today.
As for lent don't forget the chili without the carne. I make it all the time. Also I have a good kidney bean curry recipe if you are interested.
Hiya Adav!! Yes it has been crappy here. And any recipe that has kidney beans in it I would love to try. Love Da Kidney Bean. I hope you and Mr. Adav are well. Drink a Dirty Martini for me this weekend. Cheers friend!!
He who pees into wind
gets wet
That's funny Ling, you dont look Chinese!?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH always a pleasure to read keep on streaming Matt-Man and have a great weekend!
Thank you Roger and have a great one yourself. Cheers!!
I've missed streaming friday. Like I miss my sanity. Somehow they're stuck in the yellow snow together. Mmmmm... snow cream.
It's a balmy TEN degrees here in the arctic circle, and I just KNEW you were the father of Anna Nicole's baby! How's Zsa Zsa?
And what ever happened to Sugar Pie?
Sour Apple WIR sounds yucko. Maybe we can pickle Rachel Ray's head in a vat of it.
Stream away my friend. But while I agree with you that Rachel needs something done to that giggling noggin of hers, I cannot waste a good bottle of WIR to do the job. Cheers Mo!!
If you get to missing meat Matt~~ Morningstar makes a kick ass vegan sausage patty... not the links ,,, they suck.
Sorry I missed the morning stream fest... did you write your name in the frozen tundra?
BTW you are full of chit... I AM the baby daddy....
oh wait... looking down.....
maybe not?----
Here's what you need to do: Go shovel off your porch wearing shorts and dress shoes, then, once you're sure the neighbors are watching, THEN start peeing to see how fast it freezes.
That way your neighbors can learn too!
SO, sour apple.. please send a full report... I would like to hear about it's "legs" and the aroma, and the way it tasted the first time it touched the tip of your tongue. Did the screw cap have that - freshly squeezed smell?
Don't forget Tofu during your meat-free days.. ummm question --does meat-free include ...umm.. well the act of ... ummm well ya know.....keeping it clean
ooooooooooo yes.. what about "pearl diving" do you have to give that up to be meat-free?
see..your other readers give me ideas..
You sure are a brave man Matty boy. No way I am giving up meat for forty days ;-}
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