Monday is here and the pain in my neck is excruciating so this may be my only post today. The left side of my neck became stiff on Thursday and has become progressively worse. I woke up Saturday at 3 AM, 5AM on Sunday, and woke up at 1:20 AM this morning because it was impossible to get comfortable enough to sleep. Dear God, why have you forsaken me? Oh that’s right…my posts, that’s why!!The pain is so bad that not even the power of Wild Irish Rose is not strong enough to numb the discomfort. Typically, a couple of aspirin and a fifth of Rose can assuage the acuity of any ailment, but the pain in my neck is giving me a big old F-U!! What’s a man to do?
I spent yesterday watching the Sunday news shows and saw the video of mAnn Coulter calling John Edwards a “faggot”. I think she calls anyone who won’t have sex with her and finds her unattractive and vile a “faggot”. I guess that makes the USA one big gay ass country. If being a homosexual means that I wont have sex with Anthrax Coulter then put me in a dress and call me Matt-a-Lyn. If not loving her is gay, I don’t wanna be straight!! Poor thing, I think Coulter is suffering from lack of erection poll. Her dusty old voting booth needs to be canvassed, caucused, and filibustered. She needs a dangling chad popped into her ballot before she goes completely insane.
Anyway, my neck is screaming, so I shall sum up today’s post with the following:
There once was a jackass named Ann
Who sounded and looked like a man.
For publicity she brayed
Calling John Edwards gay
She needs the high hard one stuffed up her can
I want to thank the many new readers who have stopped by of late and I will try to catch up on comments and check out some new sites today. Until my next post, Cheers!!
Tonight’s Meatless Lenten Menu: Vegetable Soup…
56 comments:
So are you saying she's suffereing from a lack of meat also?
Either that or she truly is insane.
You're not gonna like what I have to say, but you should REALLY go see a doctor about this pain in your neck, (and, no, I don't mean the she-dog Coulter). You never know what it could be, and, besides, do you REALLY want to suffer like this any longer?
Big kisses and very gentle hugs...
Two words: Chiropractor.
Seriously.
Thanks Songbird. If it doesnt get better by Wednesday, I'll have it checked out.
Allie: Most chiro's are snake oil salesmen. And by the way, what the hell are you doing up so early!?
One of the great things about living abroad is no Ann.
Recipe for the day:
Fish Tacos
Recipe Ingredients:
6 Mission® Soft Taco Size Flour Tortillas 1 pkg. (1 oz.) Lawry's® Chicken Taco Spices and Seasonings divided 1/2 cup Sour Cream 2-3 Tbsp. Milk 1 Tbsp. Lime Juice 16 oz. Cod or Orange Roughy Fish or shrimp depending on what your prefer sliced Cabbage Garnishes: Lime Wedges, Early California® sliced Olives, Salsa, chopped fresh Cilantro, shredded Cheese
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Recipe Instructions:
1. Sauce: combine 2 teaspoons chicken taco spices with sour cream and enough milk to thin to pouring consistency; set aside. 2. Seasoning paste: combine remaining seasonings, oil, and lime juice. Brush seasoning paste over entire fish. 3. Grill or broil until fish begins to flake easily, about 10 to 12 minutes. Evenly divide fish among tortillas, top with cabbage and sauce, fold, and serve with lime wedges and garnishes.
Sorry to hear about your pain in the neck....Hope you get some relief...you should have it massaged....
Thanks for the highly entertaining post in spite of it tho...."call me Matt a Lyn..." ahahahaha
Peace
Thanks adav, and you are indeed lucky to avoid the ugliness that is Ann the Man. I will be making something from your recipe list later this week!!
Thanks odat...The funny thing is that I look like a robot because I have to turn my entire body if I want to look to the side or behind me. Does thay make me a Matt-Taumoton?
I am going to be really excited when I see you make something. It will be a challenge to keep em coming but I am going to try. Heck if you can go without, I should be able to come up with something right.
BTW, I saw you said you liked anchovies. They also have the benefit of being really great for you.
I appreciate the suggestion greatly Adav. And yes, anchovies are Dee-Lish. Unfortunately I am alone in that outlook within the confines of the Bagwine abode.
Too bad. For that puttanesca recipe I bet they would not even know the difference, although it is a little hot for the youngsters.
ahahahah!
though I have no actual authority to do so, I'm declaring you funniest man in blogland.
hope the neck gets better soon!
Schmoop would know that they were in there and that in itself would quash the recipe!!
Why thanks Eyechan, I wish everyone had the same fine taste in humor that you posess. Cheers my good man!!
Hey Matt funny post! you might want to switch up to a heavy pain killer say...Jack Daniels and a Vicoden might help that pain go away! your friend Roger
Thanks Roger. I dont have either whiskey or Vicodin on hand. Which is sad because I was prescribed Vicodin before and after an emergency root canal some years ago. Dear Lord, what a beautiful thing!!
Seems like I've been reading about this Ann person all over the Net. Sounds like a twat, but I guess every country has at least one of her kind.
Yep, you need a good massage. Tiger balm for pain is heavenly. May the Higher Power see fit to relieve you of your neck pain soon!
Agree on the Tiger Balm - great stuff. Just be careful where you put it...
Oh Lizza, Ann Coulter has all of the warmth and compassion of Imelda Marcos, just not as many shoes. Thank you for beseaching the Amighty to heal my affliction. Cheers!!
Another proponent of Tiger Balm eh Songbird? I may have to check into this.
Tiger balm comes from Tiger junk.....your neck is the only stiff movement you will have today with your diet.
Mrs Paul's fish sticks come from Carp....
Do you know what a balm can do!? Joe, I would gladly suffer a month or two of phallic flacidity for a normal feeling neck.
great post, even with a sore neck!
Darlin Matt - who's the She-Hitler shen she's at home?
And yeah - go and get that neck seen to..such a miserable thing to have..makes me very cranky and bitchy when neck goes out. Hope you're not like me.
Another vote for Tiger Balm. And a seconder also for the idea of being careful where you put it... it can sting, baby.
Hope you get less stiff soon (!).
Geez, with the Hitler fix on "her" picture, it's plain that Ann is a man. I'd never looked at her closely enough to really notice. You know, looking too closely makes me nauseated. And how does John Edwards not liking her make him gay? No, it's the opposite. Any man who likes Ann is obviously gay, as they can tell she's a man. But wait, that should mean women would be attracted to her. Hmm. I guess I'm just not attracted to vile creatures.
Sorry, Matt-Man, I second the chiro idea. You just have to lay down the lay with them: No, I will not come to your office 12 times a week. No, I will not buy any vitamins or supplements from you. Or you could get a really good pillow. I have a crappy pillow (no support, goes flat quickly), and when I sleep on my side, my neck gets screwed up. I can't handle the latex smell of the therapeutic pillows (you know, my super power is my acute sense of smell) so I suffer through my flat pillow and the resulting neck pain.
Nat: She is indeed one souless individual who knows how to market her hate so well.
Tkk: Ha. Thanks it wasnt easy. I am in quite a bit of pain and I usually can shrug crap like this off.
Wendz: This "woman" is a hate filled conservative who likes to say far out and/or offensive things in order to sell her books. I'm more annoyed than bitchy...as for now, anyway. Cheers!!
Mariee: Thanks for stopping by and I'll be careful with the balm placement. Why do women always ask me to get less stiff!? Cheers!!
Laura: You raise alot of interesting questions about the entire sexuality issues of this predicament. While I am at the chiropractor, work on figuring all of those questions out would you please?
I still have some percocets left over. Gosh I hope you're feeling better soon Matt!
A good massage will do wonders.
Thanks Jillie. Do you know any nurses who might be able to give such a healing massage!?
Less sitff - LMAO....way to go LFM....
Ann. Must. Die.
Do you think AnnCoulterMustDieDotCom is still available?
Nope - some guy named J. Edwards owns it.
Take care of your neck - some Tiger Balm may be just the trick, although I do second (or third, whatever) the "careful where you put that shit".
And not all chiros are bad.
If you tell 'em you need a 1 time adjustment, make 'em stick to just that.
Or there are plenty of legit massage services. Or don't go for legit and get more than a massage. You may forget your neck hurts. Hey, today's theme is "blow" after all!
Yo ho ho,
mo
Yes Mo, she is a horrid human being. Dying would be too good. How about she lives her remaining days out lying naked with Dick Cheney. Naw, she would probably like that.
I meant to work the word blow into my post but forgot so I'll do it now. Because my neck hurts so badly, this day BLOWS...Cheers!!
Hope you feel better soon!
Matt-man.. I've defunkyfied and have dedicated half my BLOW to you.. still stiff?
Come let me entice you... things from my kitchen (and you know what I think the kitchen is for...)
No HARD feelings I hope... smooch!
Hahahhahahaha! I love the poem. She is an ass.
Hope you feel better soon!
I was just there Anndi, and I am so glad that you defunkified. Little did I suspect that you would do it at my expense. But I do love the way you talk about the kitchen...Cheers!!
Thanks Raven and you are correct. I dont know how some people live with themselves.
Okay Anndi, first you post pictures of meat and now you throw out the word "Hard"...You're pushing it missy.
Pushing.. hard.. in the kitchen.. meat.. mmmmmmmm
smooch
Oh.. and by the way..
Yes, I am an evil wench
Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
How did I know that that was coming....Dear God, I said "coming". I better quit while I'm behind Anndi...Holy crap, I said "behind Anndi". Make the evil wench stop!!
You said Dear God as you said were coming?
How's the neck? Maybe a good cracking or just man up. LOL!! Just kidding. I have some vicodin I can send you. They seem to help me with all my pains.
Recipe of the day is more like Tunafish on a pita. :)
HA...Very good Anndi, I'm glad I came across you and your site...D'oh I did it again.
Well since the FBI just read your comment dont send the Vicodin, but thanks. Tuna on a pita sounds great Carmen. I love tuna fish. Cheers!!
Had there been anything else you'd given up for Lent my dear?
Now where are those tissues...
I gave up sex Anndi, but unintentionally...And that's where the tissues come in handy, or is that cum in hand-ee?
So you both gave up meat for lent?
Well you know the saying.. a bush in the hand.. no.. that's not it.
I am shocked SHOCKED by the way this post about a hard neck.. ummm stiff neck... um sore neck... has transgressed into a discussion of kitchen appliances being used to beat Ann Coulter...
What.. OH not to beat her... to beat Matt's .. Meat still off your diet?
OK, this is far too much for me to bear, so I will blow...no I don't blow.. gee I don't even get blowed (MO! Is that a word?)
chiropractors can be very helpful
...
I will continue to send readers your way Matt.. I just mention there is a guy with a stiff one looking for some loving and they seem to cum running
Bondage comes up with interesting uses for kitchen appliances.
Bill Murray has NOTHING on me .. no sir ---not at all
I'll be right on it STAT!
IM NOT A LICENSED MASSEUSE...
but I'll play one if you turn on a cam!
From sunny so. or. feel better kiddo!
Ah, Matty me boy, 'twould seem that you have passed into a realm where I cannot follow. I have neither the mental acuity nor the requisite sexual ammunition to entice and engage in such...intercourse.
You have garnered a new legion of women followers that make me look like a neophyte..alas, you have outgrown me. I suspect it is the good Mr. Bond and his Bondage groupies who have tainted you for me...
Take care of yourself dude. A heating pad is probably the best medicine at this point. Get it loosened up.
Anndi: I will certainly change the subject on my post today.
Bond: What kind of bordello are you running over there on the couch!? It is indeed an offense to my Christian values. Bill Murray was a good appliance teacher however.
Jillie: You had me at stat.
Cheesy: I wouldnt be able to see you on cam because my monitor would steam up.
Songbird: Much like Jello there is always room for you. Cheers!!
Travis: Thanks. It feels somewhat better today.
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