It’s Stream of Consciousness Friiiiiiday so pinch me on the nipples and knee me in the groin because I need a wake up call for the weekend. Actually I had quite a rude awakening this morning. Prior to completely coming out of my slumber this morning, I had a dream that I was having sex with Britney Spears. Even though she had hair, it was no less disturbing. Fortunately, I awoke before nocturnal emissions set in. Sure it was just a dream but I am going to go have myself checked out for STDs. My neck hurts again, but it’s the other side this time. Go effing figure.I got 13 out of 16 picks correct on yesterday’s college hoops. I would like to see a newspaper headline that reads, “Monkey’s Uncle Turns Out To Be Father”. I remember my first case of puppy love. It was with the neighbor’s Border Collie. I was 12 and she was 28 in human years. I guess that’s why I like older women to this day. Who am I kidding? I don’t have a preference. I can’t afford to be picky!! Don’t cry for me Argentina.
I’ve never had head cheese. How can people eat that stuff? I once had a CASE of head cheese, but the penicillin cleared that right up. This neck thing is really annoying. Monday marks the 4th anniversary of the start to the Iraq War. I guess things are going so well that President Knucklehead wants to keep it going!! Rub a dub dub…three men in a tub…a butcher, a baker, a gay porn movie maker. I remember when Lance Bass came out and said that he was gay. My reaction: Nawwwww, really? Hell that’s like me admitting that I couldn’t get laid in a room full of hookers with a fistful of credit cards. Oh yeah, that’s a shocker Matty-Boy!!
No big plans for St. Paddy’s Day tomorrow. I am going shopping with my son. I need to pick up some new duds for my trip to D.C. My son will probably hang out in the Young Miss section and scope out the hot 12 year old hussies. There’s something in my pocket that should be on my face. What? Go Speed Racer. Go Speed Racer. Go Speed Racerrr Gooooooo. Trixie was hot. What was the little chimp’s name? I just Googled it. His name was Chim-Chim. Gee, that’s original…
And they call it Puppy Loooooove. Well folks I am off to go light up a cigarette…and then burn my stomach with it. Ha, just kidding, I am more of an auto erotic self asphyxiation kinda guy. Enjoy the weeknd, I am going to spend mine having impure thoughts of me getting it on with Jessica Rabbit.
See ya all Monday…Cheers!!
Tonight’s Meatless Lenten Menu: Wild Irish Rose and lots of it
24 comments:
Well today marks the meeting of my Mighty Ducks and [fer' craps sake who thought of THIS town's name] Miami of Ohio...GOOOOOOOOOOOOO DUCKSSSSSSSSSSSSS... heheh sorry Matt had to slip that in.
A lil' joke for my Ma~HO'~ney~~
A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink.
"Why of course," comes the reply.
The first man then asks: "Where are you from?"
"I'm from Ireland," replies the second man.
The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland."
"Of course," replies the second man.
Curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?"
"Dublin," comes the reply.
"I can't believe it," says the first man.
"I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin."
"Of course," replies the second man.
Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks:
"What school did you go to?"
"Saint Mary's," replies the second man.
"I graduated in '62."
"This is unbelievable!" the first man says.
"I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!"
About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar.
"What's been going on?" he asks the bartender.
"Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Malley twins are drunk again."
Have a great SPD, I am not Irish but I play one in life... redhead and like to drink! Sorry as the lovely Jessica Rabbit says,,,,
"I'm not bad....I'm just drawn that way".
I should hope it's your son and not you who's going to be hanging out in the Young Miss section, checking out the prepubescent ladies!
Consider your nipples pinched and groin kneed, Matt. Have a fun weekend and Happy St. Patrick's Day!
I'd pinch your nipples but then you'd take the sour cream out of your pocket and oh ...um.....nm ;-)
The WIR will flow I am certain. Have a great SPD and be careful about those STDs.
smooch
The school is Miami of Ohio silly Cheesy. The town is Oxford, Ohio and it's about 70 minutes from me. If both teams win, your Ducks will be facing my beloved Fightin' Irish in the second round. Boo Yah.
Drink some green beer tomorrow. It will go perfectly with your red locks!!
Lizza: I wont be scoping out the Young Miss section. I'm more of a "cruise the High Schools" kinda guy. And thanks, that hurt sooo good. Cheers!!
TB: If I see even a hint of some Irish Moss looking growth near my boys, I'll have it checked out right away. Happy St. Paddy's Day to you as well.
Did you ever have "head cheese", I mean the real deal? Ew. I don't know who decided to come up with eating an entire goat's head. Bleckkk!!!! (I know that's not where you were going with that, ...but had to add that in there.)
The dream about Britney...Hmm.... I'm opting more towards Lindsay---she runs em' over pretty good these days.
Enjoy St Patty's Day! I'll be here drinking ma'beer and trying to be a 'good Christian'. ;)
Enjoy your weekend Matty-boy!
No Deb I was in fact talking about the goat head thing at first, and yes it's is disgusting!! I probably would have a better shot at Lindsay since she would be drunk. Enjoy your beer, your SPD, and dont let the Lord down young lady.
Cheers!!
Happy Green Day Matt! Enjoy your weekend...
Peace
Here's a pinch on the old nips for ya, Matty, and a an Irish Proverb:
Here’s to the maiden of bashful fifteen;
Here’s to the widow of fifty;
Here’s to the flaunting, extravagant quean,
And here’s to the housewife that’s thrifty!
Let the toast pass;
Drink to the lass;
I’ll warrant she’ll prove an excuse for the glass.
And here's a Bagwine WIR proverb for you:
May the Rose rise to greet you
Have a Green Weekend, Matty me boy!
**and have another pinch on the nips, too**
goats, monkeys, puppies, chimps, spears...my god it's a zoo in here Matt-man. have an auto erotic self asphixiating/inebriating w'end:)!
Have a good one yourself odat. Drink plenty o'beer!! Cheers...
Ha...Very good Mo. Spoken like a true Lep-Mo-chaun. Damn my nips are sore. Cheers my friend.
I guess you're right Eyechan. It's a veritable Noah's Ark, and I'm sailing drunk out of my mind!! Have a good one. Cheers!!
Haha Matt have a happy St. Patrick's day don't drink to much green beer!!!
I think I may go with the greeen apple Wild Irish Rose this year Roger. Cheers and Happy St. Paddy's Day to you too. Or rather U-2.
Happy green beer!
Can you give me your honest male perspective of the dove ladies I've posted?
Hey there Kerouac been busy this week and havent stopped by, but I would be more than happy to take a look....Cheers!!
Whew! I thought you said Streaking Friday. I was going to say Matt, hitting the Wild Irish Rose a little heavy already huh?
Well, it's going to be a Jameson wknd for me ;o)---
I'd like to "TF" Jessica Rabbit..
*pichesYOURnipplesNOTMINE*
Aaaaaah.... hope you enjoyed it as much as I did =)
Have a great St. Patrick´s Day!
WTF!! A bunch of Eagles spoiled St Paddy's for the Irish.
I'm at 16 of 22 now, looking for a perfect region in the West. I need Kansas, Villanova (apologies to my UK hoochies), Va Tech, and So Illinois.
Stumbled on this site. Thought I had landed in an S & M den. But not somewhere you are likely to find Britney I guess.
Great blog
Phoenix
x
and that streaming friday is brought to you by MEAT...
juicy, tasty meat...
while your son is in the young miss section, will you be in the ladies area by the dressing rooms...?
Matty, I've missed you.
When I read the head cheese,
I had to haiku.
ahahaha. funny stuff. what with britney and all :P
have a good week!
Jillie: Mmmmmm Jameison's
Joe: She bang She bang!!
Sanni: ooooo that hurt so good ; )
Travis: I have thrown my picks away. It was all downhill after day one.
Phoenix: Thanks for stopping.
I'll be sure to check your site out. Cheers!!
Bond: I'll be IN the ladies dressing room. Trying on unmentionables.
Aisby: Thanks for the haiku. Oh how I have missed ya. Hope the new job is going well for you. Cheers!!
Mags: Thanks. I hope things are going well with you. Cheers!!
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