It's All Greek To Bush

(The beginning of this night on the town with Dubya is on the post below this one…)

Okay so GW and I are having a few drinks last night and let me tell you it was hard keeping a straight face looking at George tossing back Budweiser after Budweiser dressed in a Spider-Man suit. He asked where Schmoop was and I told him that when she heard that he was coming by; she made like a WMD and couldn’t be found. He laughed and then asked me what a WMD was. I said, “Exactly”.

I suggested that we go eat before Dubya got embarrassingly sloshed. This is what transpired…

Dubya: That’s a good ideal Matt-Man. Let’s hit the road. Are we going to that Grecian choke and puke that you mentioned yesterday?

Matt: Yeah if that’s alright.

Dubya: Sounds good…In a few minutes you’ll be calling me Ouzo the Clown.

Matt: Ummm Dubya could you please take your Spidey suit off before we go.

Dubya: Kill-Joy!! Ha just messin’ with ya Matt-Man…Let me strip…I have my party clothes on underneath. Ta Da!! Don’t I look hip and fabulous?

Matt: The blue jeans are fine, but why are you wearing a T-Shirt with a picture of Che’ Guevara on it?

Dubya: Che’ Guyberra? Hell, I thought it was Jesus Christ!! Who’s this Guyberra fella you’re talking about?

Matt: Nevermind…We better get going.

So off we went to Linardos Greek Restaurant. We were seated at the VIP booth, and our waitress introduced herself…

Waitress: Hi my name is Cassiopeia and I’ll be your server this evening. Can I interest you in anything from the bar or some appetizers?

Matt: (mumbling to myself) Oh dear God, here we go…

Dubya: Casy…Cassapeed..er…Yeah, Cathy Pita is it? How about a glass of Bagwine for the Matt-Man here, and I’ll have a bottle of Ouzo straight up. Oh, and hot wings if ya got ‘em.

Waitress: We sure do…I’ll get everything started for you gentlemen.

Dubya: See that you do Mons Venus, cuz I’m kinda like a Caesar, capiche?

Matt: What the hell are you doing?

Dubya: Just talking to her in her own language…

Matt: She’s GREEK not Italian.

Dubya: Well hell, Eye-Tal-lee-un…Grecians…They all look the same.

Several ouzos and hot wings later Dubya tried to place his order….

Dubya: Could I get Chicken Tikka Mughlai with extra curry sauce.

Waitress: I’m sorry sir, but we only prepare Greek fare and that’s an Indian dish.

Dubya: Indian!!? Well slap me on the ass and call me Sitting Bull, the things you learnt. Is my face red…hahahahaha…Do I have smoke signals coming out of my ears…hahahaha. Maybe I’ll go the bathroom and pull off some Tee-Pee…Do I need a RESERVATION for that….hahahahahaha...Hiya Hiya Hiya...

Shortly thereafter he broke into his version of a Cherokee war dance. Unfortunately, it had the effect of a rain dance because he had ouzo inspired piss all down the front of his pants.

I got a hold of one of his body guards and he took him away through the kitchen. Some lady came up to me and asked what was up with the crazy man. I said that he was just a bit stressed out. She said, “You wouldn’t expect that kind of behavior out of someone wearing a Jesus shirt.” I went home.

When I woke up this morning there was a message on the machine. “Yo, Matt-Man. Great time last night pardner. My only regret is that I didn’t get to do any Greco-Texan wrasslin’ with Cathy Pita…Oh well, keep the Spidey suit mi amigo. Adioooooos!!”

What a night…I will see you all back here tomorrow for another fun filled Stream of Consciousness Friiiiiiiday….Cheers!!