I am going to be tied up today, and no, not in a good way, so I am posting an old post. This post tells the tale of my Nobel Peace Prize winning idea. Cheers...The weekend has come and gone, and I made it through relatively unscathed. I played baseball with my son Saturday and other than a pulled right hamstring and a stiff right shoulder, I am alive and without any cuts, bruises, or abrasions.
I just hung out on Saturday listening to some music, watching some baseball, and of course swilling some Rose. I talked to an old friend on the phone. We have been friends since 4th or 5th grade, and although we rarely get a chance to see each other; when we do talk, it’s like we have never been apart. Ah just a relaxing uneventful day.
Sunday started off the same way. I had some coffee and watched the Sunday Morning News shows, and then…it happened. That incredibly annoying “Head-On” commercial came on. You know the one for the tube of headache relief:
“HEAD-ON” Apply Directly to the Forehead !!
“HEAD-ON” Apply Directly to the Forehead !!
“HEAD-ON” Apply Directly to the Forehead !!
I have complained about this before, but for some reason I went to Walgreen’s and picked up a tube of the crap just to check it out. I brought it home and put some on my hand to look at it, smell it, and feel it, merely a casual study of the concoction. As fate would have it, I accidentally adulterated the substance by getting some out dated Tartar Sauce on it (don’t ask). My skin began to peel away from my palm. It didn’t hurt at all it just gently removed some of the skin. I washed up and poured a glass of Rose.
After about my fourth glass, I had an epiphany.I again tried the mixture of “Head-On” and Tartar Sauce and sure enough, when I applied it to my left knee cap, the same soothing skin removal occurred. The die was cast and all of the glories associated with a medical breakthrough ran through my mind. The medical application of this discovery was clear: I had just invented a non-surgical procedure for circumcisions!! I just need the folks at “Head-On” to tweak their tag line…
“HEAD-ON” Apply Directly to the Foreskin !!
“HEAD-ON” Apply Directly to the Foreskin !!
“HEAD-ON” Apply Directly to the Foreskin !!
Am I a freaking genius or what?
Matt-Man + Wild Irish Rose = Advances in Medical Science.
29 comments:
OMG LMFAOOOOO....I guess I missed that one first time around...yes, you are a genius!!!
Peace
(cute putty cat!!!)
HA...Thanks odat. Yeah Corky is cute albeit she has quite the attitude of a Princess at times.
I will call you Matt~DeLeon! But if I apply to my wrinkles...Will they start calling me Fishface?
Whatever happens to your wrinkles Cheesy, I'll still want to "Ponce" on you!!
Well it's nice to know SOMEONE does! Have a gooder day bud...
BUWHAHAHAHAHAHA... I know that I missed that one the first time around.
Have a good day...What a shame that your not tied up in a good way... ;-)
Now the mechanics of your brain should be studied by scientists everywhere....
Always Cheesy...
Dixie: It was from either July or August of last year. Now I am working on turning belly button lint into a viable alternative fuel source. Cheers!!
You're saying I AM pure genius arent you Vin...Arent you?
Now I have an image of you in full S&M hogtied fashion.
hehe
-N
Do freckles come off whn you do this?
Nat? Is that good or bad? Cheers!!
Marilyn: Be careful, while the treatment is painless, EVERYTHING comes off!!
Wow, seeing how, with this more enjoyable method, we would move to ceremonial circumcisions at 13 again, we may find it difficult for the subject to know (or desire) to stop the process and we would be presented with a whole new set of baffling circumstances. But very interesting indeed.
Badway
You my friend are going down a slippery slope...er...so to speak.
I too missed this one the first time around - so thank you so much for posting it again!!!
ROTFLMAO - nice one Matt. :D
I am here to help Angell...Cheers and thanks!!
I am... well.. I never got past thoughts of you tied up quite honestly.
Silk? Leather straps? the belt of Schmoop's robe which looked absolutely fantastic on you BTW...
I'll have to go back and read.. Nick's comment has intrigued me...
The mere mention of me being bound has always driven the ladies wild Anndi. And while silk and leather are nice, nothing says, "have your way with me" like being tied up with a red poly-blend robe belt. Cheers!!
Actually I was thinking while you were tied up I could bring in a squirrel and continue the 'rodent therapy'.
Oh that's just great...All tied up and you bring a rabid squirrel to the party looking for a nut.
We could start off easy and if could be a hand puppet squirel...
Okay I can deal with that.
Hilarious!
Why Thank ya Trav...
LOL, you ARE a genious!
(me thinks you are way too familiar with that red poly-blend robe belt)
and I could be a genius too! if i knew how to spell it. :-)
HA...We dont take off for spelling here Lisa. You ar a geenyus. Cheers!!
What in the heck is rodent therapy???! Rodent therapy?
Mimi needs to lie down.
You dont want to know Mimi.
Post a Comment