Okay in this post I will demonstrate that a right angle can also be acute and the hypoteneuse of a rigth triangle can also determine a body part size. Let me first tell you why I did this research and then the results.The State of Ohio’s smoking ban went into effect today. I am glad Ohio voters got that one passed. God forbid a bar or restaurant owner gets to decide if people may smoke in their establishments or not. And now the Ohio State Legislature is trying to pass its own brand of cutting edge codification. Job Growth Initiative? Education Funding? Infrastructure Proposal? Noooooo, none of the above. They are diligently working on a piece of legislation to keep a little space between strippers and their patrons….SIX FEET to be exact.
Okay here is what the law proposed says:
(B) While on the premises of a sexually oriented business: (1) No employee, while nude or seminude, knowingly shall do any of the following: (a) Appear in the view of any patron unless the employee is at least six feet from all patrons and on a stage at least two feet above the floor;
That makes it HARD to put some dollar bills into a snatch. But it makes us safer because we dont know if Venus DiSilos is actually giving tainted receipts to Randy Penis. Thank you statesmen. I know, widow Smith is eating dog food, but this is not as important because Rod Parsley, God Fearin' Mo-Fos are signing petitions.
What I do like is the following....such as:
(M) "Sexual device" means any three dimensional object designed and marketed for stimulation of the male or female human genitals, anus, female breasts, or for sadomasochistic use or abuse of oneself or others and shall include devices such as dildos, vibrators, penis pumps, and physical representations of the human genital organs. Nothing in this division shall be construed to include devices primarily intended for protection against sexually transmitted diseases or for preventing pregnancy.
Tell me the writers of this bill werent laughin' their asses off by typing "penis pump" and "dildo". You now damn well they were saying, "That conservative bitch is cowtowing to the right while she is doing a three way with the doorman and a set of Ben-Wa Balls."
Anyway, I promised you a Math lesson. Look at the diagram above. The chick's area from the man is a2 + b2=c2 which equals 2x2 +6x6=c2...that equals 4+36=c2...Which equals 40=c2...Which obviously means that the stripper has 2 40Cs.
See? Oh a right angle can't be acute? The stripper in the diagram above is standing atop a right angle and she is sexy looking, which means that she forms "a cute right angle"....Matt-Man, Genius.
Digest it...Remember it...And tell your friends about me...
Until tomorrow and Stream of Consciousness Friiiday, Cheers!!
15 comments:
My mind is just boggled.....
Okay, here's my first public disagreement with you: our state also passed the non-smoking law which became effective May 1st. Naturally, I voted for passage of this law (for obvious reasons). In an unscientific poll (unlike your very mathematically correct study of stripper vis-a-vis patron scenario), it seems that most patrons affected business (both smokers and non-smokers alike) are in favor of the law. The number one reason they favored it? NOW they can actually taste their food in the restaurant and bars - wow! What a concept. Some bars and restaurants that instituted the non-smoking rule earlier than the May 1st deadline reported AN INCREASE in revenue because they saw an increase in families and non-smokers in their establishments. How about that?
I can see why you would disagree with me on this one, but I stand by my opinion that it is a win/win situation for all involved. Plus, now I can go hear my favorite local bands play live at the bars!
Most bars here have smoking/non-smoking sections, which is fine by me.
Ahh, the lessons I learn from you Matt. Math and the adult industry and law, they're all intertwined. Who'd have thunk it?
Cheesy? Boggled?
Songbird, I understand your position, but I prefer the marketplace and a business owners decision to determine what works and what doesnt on this matter.
Lizza: Sections are fine but we do not have those anymore. There is no smoking period!!
Have lived through that law passing in MA, then NY and then NJ
So far TN has not done so, meaning there are still bars and restaurants where you can smoke...
Now, as long as I can smoke and drink and not use a 6' pole to touch the stripper who used to give me lap dances, I am fine.....
Wish I had come here yesterday...reading this so early oin the morning has given me a headache... C=D-3494849/J= what the ??????
I am right wif ya Bond. And I apologize for discoloring your gray matter so early in the morning.
Yes boggled... You had me doing the dreaded "math face"
Ewwwww I hate that face. I wore it often in High School and have passed it on to my son.
Leave it to you to come up with a cute angle for this one.....
Peace
Bada Bing!! I was more impressed with my diagram drawing ability!!
That looks a lot like what I scribbled on paper trying to figure out whether our roof is steeper than a 4/12 pitch. In my doodle, though, I am SUPER excited to see the roof cleaner as I dance on the roof, and you can probably guess what he thinks of our roof! "Hot damn! Look at the debris! And soo steep! I'm gonna get lots of money for this job!"
Good luck with the roof Laura. I am sorry that your pitch is so steep. A steep pitch is a real bummer.
Don't you just love our legislative branch, looking out for our welfare with this lap dance law. I've already written every law maker I can find to express my disgust. We already have a problem with unemployment and they want to put more people out of work.
They tried to pass a similar distance law here in WA, only it was three feet, I think... It got shot down quicker than Dick Cheney's hunting partner.
And you know I'm with you on the smoking bans. It's effing bullshit, and it's also tragic seeing business owners struggle to make a profit. We're just now starting to recover out here after our ban was passed a year and a half ago. A lot of bars have decent covered outdoor areas that are heated and stuff for the smokers, but still... This was a move forced upon them to make and it has never been quite the same. Before the ban, half the bars and restaurants around here were non-smoking anyway, but at least people had a choice. That's what the free market is all about.
Yeah Raven, they are working on the burning issues that you, I and the rest of the Buckeye State. I wish that they would pass some "Mind Your Own Business" legislation. Cheers!!
Allie: 3 feet compared to 6? Buckeye wankers must be bigger!! ; )
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