Streaming Friday !!

It’s Stream of Consciousness Friiiiiiiiiiday so strap a jet pack on me and fly me to the moon!! I woke up this morning to the most excellent news that I was awarded Post of the Day by The Rising Blogger. You can check out their site and my post by clicking HERE. It is always nice to be noticed, well, except when you’re picking your nose or scratching your balls. How much is that doggie in the window? Kibble and Bits. Kibble and Bits. I go koo koo for Cocoa Puffs. Martini anyone?

I swear to God I could post everyday about the dreams I have. Last night I dreamed that I was at a baseball game sitting next to Laura Bush and she was nekkid. Howie Mandel hit a fly ball towards me and when I stood up to try and catch it Laura shoved the head of Boris Yeltsin up my butt. WTF? Serenity Now!! Take it back, do do do dooo. That meatloaf sandwich I had last night was Dee-Lish. I hope Rachel Ray trips and falls onto a fire ant mound.

The Kentuck Derby is this weekend. It wasn’t always a horse race. It actually began a long time ago in the backwoods of the Bluegrass State. When the weather got warm, families in Kentucky would tie their youngest daughter to a pole and her brothers, standing 200 yards away would race to her. Whoever got there first got to marry her. The losers had to settle for an aunt or a cousin. Boo Yah…I’m in the mood for a Brazilian Wax Job.

Tomorrow also marks the celebration of Cinco de Mayo. I think there is no fixing our society when we set aside a day to honor a fifth of Hellman’s. Sure, it tastes great on a BLT, but c’mon. Last night’s Republican Presidential debate looked like an Enron Reunion. And speaking of mayonnaise, you can’t get any whiter than Sen. Sam Brownback. Praise the Lord, Sammy. Sammy Sosa is doing pretty well this year. Gobble Dee Gook, fizzzzzzzzz. I am going to be posting pics from Bagwine this weekend. I can’t wait. Fecal Matter…That even sounds nasty.

I am going to pee in the sink tonight. Not mine, but someone else’s. I’m not going to tell them either. I actually did take a leak in my brother’s cat’s litterbox many moons ago. I was pretty smashed and let loose with force. Wet litter was popping out of the box onto the floor. My brother was pissed!! Ahhhh good times, good times. Too bad it wasn’t the scoopable kind. Man…that would have made an impressive piece of cat litter sculpture.

Well folks, I am off for now. Enjoy your weekend, spend it watching the horses run around the track in front of thousands of sister-wives. See ya around sometime this weekend. Cheers and thanks again to The Rising Blogger!!