It’s 5:45 A.M. My hands are twitching, anxiety coursing through my body. I sit on the couch, frightened. My upper lip is bathed in a cold sweat as my right eyebrow begins to twitch in fear of the situation. The blue gray hues of dawn do little to allay my sense of apprehension…How could this have happened to me and is there any end in sight?I don’t know how much more of this pain I can endure. My legs begin to shake furiously. I hate being at the mercy of someone else. My situation is dire, “God Help Me.”
At last, shattering the heavy sound of dread, sounds of hope split the air…a creak, a squeak, and a pop. A door swings open, and out she comes. With great haste I make my move, and with microseconds to spare, I make it safely to the bathroom and empty my swollen, aching bladder!!
Until we meet again, Cheers!!
If you have time, click HERE and go wish the lovely Sanni a Happy Birthday…
38 comments:
I've got two words for you: Ouch.
Well, that was only one word. I couldn't think of another, sorry.
Badway
Odat: That'll probably be the best thing anyone says abut me all day, Thanks!!
Nick: You are my favorite minimalist. Cheers!!
dude... it isn't totally light...you are a guy.... out the backdoor and find a tree.... sheesh
Bond: You're right I should have gone out back and taken a leak in the parking lot of the apartment complex. I'd end up living in a van down by the river!!
I don't understand... are there no sinks? Need help aiming?
Cheesy: There's something about peeing into a sink full of spaghetti encrusted plates that is too much like a Russ Meyer film to me. If it was just a couple of glasses, no problem!!
That's a toughie! good thing you didn't explode.
The good thing Hammer is that I didnt have any of that horrid Wild Green WIne in my system this morning!! Cheers...
Dude! Keep a plastic water bottle out of the recycling for future emergencies.
Hell, even that empty bottle of WIR would work.
Be crafty!
You had a woman over...I'm proud!
Trav: Maybe I should keep a gallon bucket around, I was coming off of the weekend.
Aisby: I thank you but she let's me stay here it's not like I have her over. Cheers!!
I have felt like this too. But on road trips and what not. It's easier for men to pee in those situations. Us women...we are screwed.
-N
And it is a fact of life that I cherish Nat. Cheers!!
Into every life a little rain must fall ... or in your case NOT
Fortunately Jamie, the dowpour held off long enough for me to open the cistern. Cheers!!
That´s why I spend $20 on a Tupperware Party. I feel so SO safe being prepared ;)
Thank you for your birthday wishes, my bratwurst. That´s far too kind.
Can´t cast my vote this week. "Playing Twister nekkid" is missing =)))
You are more than welcome my Teutonic Goddess, I only wish I could have given you a B-Day tribute comparable to the one you gave me. As soon as you're done partying let me know and we'll play a round or two of Nude Twister. Cheers Sanni and enjoy your day.
You really had me going here. You have a great talent for twisting words in just the right way.
Already gave happy birthday wishes to Sanni. Have a great MM. :)
Thanks Comedy and have a great MM yourself. Cheers!!
Sounds like my morning commutes when I go Venti at Starbucks :P
You couldn't use your kitty's litterbox? Kidding!
I hope this never happens to you in traffic.
That feeling is worse than the threat of Nuclear War Starrlight.
I dont think Corky would be too amused Lizza. Cheers!!
I thought that was why God invented the sides of buildings.
Well that's tru Allie but the sides of this building have about twenty windows with a good view and twenty or so potential police informants!!
I have thouroughly enjoyed reading you over the past couple of weeks. I enjoy the way you mix humor and serious subject matter, i.e. your Memorial Day post. Keep up the good work and I will certainly keep reading.
Oh lord... I thought you were really physically sick ... I was beginning to get worried and call 911 for you...
You are SO not right my friend... but that's what keeps me coming back... ;-)
Thanks very much Nancy I hope you keep stopping by.
Dixie: LOL...I just like to keep people on the edge of their seats. Cheers!!
LMAO - Matt, you slay me!!
Van down by the river......
SIGH. Love that.
HA...I am glad you caught that Angell...Cheers to you my friend!!
No guts no glory nor no relief... it was 5:45AM dude... shove it out the window and let loose.... 5:45 AM dude...
Bond: You have no respect for someone who my be living below you do you...So New York City of you .
Hardly anybody ever dies that way.
True but they can be left all wet Marilyn....
sheesh... peek out the window ..no one there..let fly.... and hey your downstairs neighbor might wake up - look out the window..think it is a tsunami and turn over and go back to sleep....
I've heard that men use sinks in such circumstances. Someone trained you well!
You are so not right.
*snickers*
I will return.
You know, just today on our drive home, we stopped in El Centro, CA at a rest area that had porta-potties instead of real rest rooms. My daughter looked at me, shook her head, and said, "Mommy, it's so unfair that boys can stand up to pee and we can't."
Bond: You have quite the window piss fetish!!
Julie: Ha...Thanks Julie, I'll swing by your site soon as well. Cheers!!
Songbird: It is unfair but just tell your daughter that that is what you get because Eve ate the apple!! Cheers!!
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