"Matt-Man, Line 1...Your Past Is Calling"

The phone rang yesterday afternoon. I picked up and said hello. On the other end I heard a woman ask, “Is this the person to whom I’m speaking?” Following a tick-sized pause and a chuckle, I was immediately transported back to 1982. Within seconds, I saw myself frying hamburgers at Hardee’s, sneaking off at school to have a smoke, and making fun of Ronnie Ray-Gun. H.G. Matt-Man was in the Time Machine.

The voice on the other end of the phone was that of my high school girlfriend and more importantly simply my best damn friend for about 5 or 6 years back in those days.

We hadn’t really talked to each other in over ten years. This was mainly due to our spouses at the time finding it unbelievable that a man and woman who had previously dated could be just friends. I sometimes think that the Enlightenment has yet to come to our town. But times and situations have changed. She has struck out on her own, and I now live with a woman who actually has a large section of her brain dedicated to common sense.

Some of you “know” about the woman of which I speak, as I have talked about her in a couple of previous posts. I am talking about my old friend Sherri. She and I have endured an attack by her deranged cat while having hot Birthday Sex which you can read about HERE. We also had another sexual escapade aborted by an infestation of a colony of God’s blood suckers, which you can look up by clicking HERE. In spite of all of that, we had some great times.

The sex was far down on the list of good times. After all, when you are that young, sex consists of the girl laying there and the guy is on top hammering away without feeling, and yet thinking he is God’s gift to women. Our good times consisted mainly of laughter, companionship, and two people who just enjoyed having good times together. We were a teenage version of soul mates. We were like Mickey Rooney and Judy Garland although we occasionally played with each other’s naughty bits. This sex play was made much easier because of the fact that Sherri had a 1973 Plymouth Road Runner with a backseat bigger than most dining rooms. Vroom Vroom!!

We talked for about 20 or 25 minutes and the conversation was neither studdered nor uncomfortable. To me, it was as easy as talking to her as it was all of those years ago. It was as if we just picked up where we left off.

We are going to meet sometime soon and go through a scrapbook that she kept from those times. She told me that the book even contains some of my early gems of prose. She told me of one poem that I wrote that contains the line, “Don’t know why she is such a slut, don’t know why she has a chancrous butt…” Just call me Alfred, Lord Matt-Man. I was a prodigy indeed.

Sure, this post is somewhat just a syrupy trip down memory lane, but I see it as more than that. I don’t have a lot in the way of material things, and sometimes it is hard to get through the day to day, but one thing I do have, is that I not only get to live with my best friend; I get a second chance to get together with a dear old friend from my past...I can live with that.

Cheers!!

Make Sure To Listen To The Mo Show Tonight at 6:30 EDT...For Details Click HERE!!