Streaming Friday!!

It’s Stream of Consciousness Friiiiiiiiday so wrap me in a crescent roll and throw me in the oven because I am making pigs in a blanket tonight. If you have never had a hot dog wrapped in cheese within a crescent roll you are missing out…Yum-OH!! We are supposed to get some big storms this afternoon so I have left the closet door open for Corky. She is not a big fan of thunder. I do not hide from thunder and lightning. I face the ferocity of nature’s danger by weeping and peeing my pants.

I feel so bad about the Beyonce’ stumbling incident. Not because she fell, but because I wasn’t lying there on the floor to break her fall. Trust me, she would not have been able to get back up and dance, unless she could have done it with me wrapped around her thighs and my hands clinging onto her ass. Love me some Beyonce’. My left nipple hurts. I hope I am not going to be lactating…maybe it just means that visitors are going to be stopping by.

I was going through my junk drawer yesterday and found an unused roll of fly paper. I don’t have any problem with flies, so I thought I would use it to give myself a Brazilian Bikini Wax this weekend. With any luck it may even yank some of my hemorrhoids out. Double-Duty, baby!! I probably should numb myself with some Wild Irish Rose prior to the procedure. I had a fried egg sandwich last night. Man, it was delicious. I don’t think they would be as delicious if they went by the moniker of Fried Fallopian Discharge Melts. Do You?

Schmoop’s brother and I going downtown tomorrow morning. Every Saturday from June though September they have a Farmer’s Market at the old city building. I am going to squeeze some tomatoes, feel some melons, all the while “accidentally” brushing up against some hot babe’s ass. Family fun for everyone. Where have all the flowers gone?

Wowzie-wow-wow!! I didn’t realize that it was this late. I wasted a lot of time on the internet this morning trying to find a picture of the last time Lindsay Lohan was sober. I had to go clear back to a shot of her taken during the first five minutes of The Parent Trap. Did you hear the report of NASA astronauts being sloppy drunk while flying…Holy Crap, can you imagine that? The good news, I guess, is that if Lindsay can’t jump start her acting career, she can become a Space Shuttle pilot. I can hear it now, “Houston, we have a problem, I am soooo fuckin’ out of vodka.”

Well fare well ye fine Bagwine readers. Have a great weekend. Spend it getting drunk and climbing a tall tree to enjoy that astronaut effect. I may post some Farmer’s Market pictures this weekend so please stop back.

Cheers!!