Streaming Friday!!

It’s Stream of Consciousness Friiiiiiiiiday so sharpen my incisors and light the candles on the cake because I am serving up Birthday hickeys.

Lalalalalalalala…Hillary Clinton turns 60 today and held a bash in NYC last night. She raised 1.5 Million dollars, not a bad birthday haul at all. Well bend over Senator, the Matt-Man is placing a big old Birthday bite mark on your ass.

Some of you may be thinking, “ewww gross”. Pis-shah, I’m gonna help H-Rod get her freak on, transforming her into SIN-ator Clinton. C’mere baby and let me fill-your-buster, cuz’ I’m Matt-Man, bitch!! I bet Prez Stud Bill Clinton would have never have imagined that some day he would be sleeping with a 60 year old woman. So there’s today’s first B-Day hickey. Was it good for you?

My son turned 13 Wednesday and the lovely Sanni posted a nice little tribute to him the other day. Check it out HERE if you haven’t. Happy Birthday again to Ryno. And no, I am not giving my son a Birthday hickey. Damn, you guys are a sick bunch. I want to be a piece of registered mail and send myself…to myself. What? Jiminy Cricket and pass the pickles.

Now for the main course…I am sending out a big, juicy, gouda piercing bite on the neck to my friend, Allie. That’s right, the Gouda Girl, the Queen of Tar-Zzzjay, the Indomitable One turns 28 today. I think she’s 28. I mean, I only slept with her once so all I asked her was if she was older than 14 18. There you go again you sick bastards, I was just kidding…sorta.

I hope you all stop by her site today and wish her a Nappy Birthday (yes, I know I said Nappy) because if it wasn’t for her, there would be no Bagwine Ruminations…and wouldn’t that be a big frickin’ shame?

Allie is a lovely woman who is aging much like a soft, smoky wheel of Gouda, and boy there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to stick my toothpick into her fondue pot. If you get a minute click HERE and go wish her a Happy 28th and tell her to please get the Temporary Restraining Order against me dropped.

How maddening would it be if all day all you had going through your head was hearing “Oh Mickey you’re so fine, you’re so fine you blow my mind…Hey Mickey”? Wow that would be a bummer. I have a ton of goose poop in my eyes today, zowie!! I have yet to see any good horror movies during this Halloween season. I am pissed. Can’t I at least get a viewing of the classic farm porn thriller, “A Tight Mare on Elmo’s Meat”? Shucks…

Well folks have a great weekend. Spend it eating a big slice of Gouda. Se ya ’round this weekend.

Cheers!!