Praise be to God, the Notre Dame Fighting Irish actually won a football game yesterday. Although it can be said that the UCLA Bruins handed them game by turning the ball over a thousand times, it is a win nonetheless, and I thank God for it. Okay, okay I know that God had nothing to do with Notre Dame winning the football game, but maybe his son’s mother did.Happy about the Irish victory and it being a Sunday morning, I guess I should express my happiness about a few other things for which I am thankful…
I am thankful for all of you who stop by and read my blog. Okay maybe not all of you. There are a couple of you who just tighten my colon, and you know who you are.
I am thankful for my best friend Schmoop, who is not only quick to lend a sympathetic ear, but looks hot when she fries up SPAM wearing nothing but a tight apron. She’d do it completely naked but for the whole grease splattering thing.
I am thankful that I live in America, a country where I am free to express my desire to become a lesbian porn star, and make personal choices like lighting up a cigarette…provided of course, that I am in my own house sitting in my bathroom, with the door locked, the fan on, and the shower running.
I could go on and on with this post of gratitude, but it is Sunday and I must spend some time with the Lord. So, if you will, please bow your head, and let us pray…
Lord, please help the Cleveland Indians sweep the Yankees tonight so that I may look upon George Steinbrenner and his overpaid players, and for a brief moment feel better about my own lack of success in life…Lord, Hear Our Prayer
Lord, please allow Britney Spears to become so big in Scandinavia that she signs on for a three month tour, marries a Norwegian smelt dealer, and lives out her remaining years in Oslo…Lord, Hear Our Prayer.
Lord, I could use a little bit of help myself right now, so if you could help me to get through it, I will be very grateful…Lord, Hear Our Prayer.
Amen
I hope you enjoy your Sunday, that all of your favorite teams win, and things go your way. Until tomorrow my friends, Cheers!!
18 comments:
How dare you wish the Indians to sweep my beloved Yankees!! Blasphemer!! You're talking about my future father in law!!!
Schmoop: While I hate to see your pain should the Yankees lose, my loathing for the Bronx Bastards is unsurpassed in professional sports. Cheers!!
After all my hope, I finally gave in and bet against Notre Dame yesterday...Then they win!! Bastards.
Do I tighten your colon? I thought I was just 'rinsing it out"!
Amen...
Metalmom: How dare you bet against the Blessed Virgin Mother? My colon gets incredibly loose every time I see that you have commented. Cheers!!
CrAzY: Pax Vobisucm and Cheers!!
I really don't want to know what your colon's reaction is in response to my comments. Ew...
Funny how I came by to read this just after returning from mass; how apropos. I have too many intentions to list, so let's leave it at "The Peace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with you always, Matthew darling."
Praise God and all the Saints - the Irish won!
Yay for my D-Backs - GO TRIBE!
Songbird: Thanks. Ha, the Arizona Diamondbacks and the Cleveland Indians in the series, the TV ad salesmen would be singing the blues!! Cheers!!
Schmoop: Quit your whining and and enjoy the Bronx Cheer that I am directing your way.
Careful Schmoop or he will hide the apron!
Cheesy: No worries...Although I do want her naked I dont want her to cook without the apron and become disfigured. Cheers O' Cheesy One...
I am with Desert...let's leave the Colon's out of this, mmk? I don't think I could live with the pain of knowing I caused a high colonic of calamity to one such as yourself :P
Amen! Hallelujah brother Matt!
Starrlight: Are you saying you want me to perform a colonectomy on this post?
Roger: And be peace be with you...
Not that I have anything against colons...but I'm hoping I don't have much to do with yours.
Peace be with you and whatever teams you back... on second thought they probably shouldn't be all that peaceful if they want to win.
Marilyn: I have a beautiful colon...really.
nice to know the effect I have on your little colon. Yes...it was a gift from the Bruins...enjoy. And I know the Almighty hears your request...smile.
Katherine: I am not one to look a gift Bruin in the mouth. Cheers!!
Gotta agree with you on those matt-man, and if the Lord does hear your prayers, make sure to mention your friend in Toronto, who JUST ONCE, would like to see the Leafs bring the Cup home (Lord hear MY prayer).
Thanks.
Go IRISH!!
And go Cal Bears! Skipping all the games left where LSU and Cal could trip up, I think Cal may just have the speed on offense to deal with that LSU defense. Could be a fun championship game.
Yeah yeah - I see Ohio State lurking about there at #3.
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