Sunday Morning Church Disservice: Lindsay Roberts, Youth Mentor

"I live my life in a morally upright manner and throughout my marriage have never, ever engaged in any sexual behavior with any man outside of my marriage as the accusations imply," Roberts said in her statement.

"Allegations against me in a lawsuit yesterday are not true. They sicken me to my soul," she said.

--Tulsa World Oct. 13, 2007

What better way to celebrate the Sabbath than post once more about the adulterated pie unadulterated piety of Lindsay Roberts, wife of Oral Roberts University President Richard Roberts, and her tireless mentorship to the male youth of Tulsa?

Now, to those Bagwine readers who may have tired of this topic, I apologize, but Great God Almighty, the hits I have gotten from people doing Google searches using some form of “Lindsay Roberts” has been phenomenal. The only Google search term that has brought more folks to my site has been “Wild Irish Rose+Cheez-Whiz+Idiot Savant Lesbians”. Yes, right now, Lindsay Roberts is hotter than Paris Hilton’s crotch…and for good reason.

New allegations state that Lindsay “Lohan” Roberts spent the night in her guest house with an underage male nine times, was photographed in a car 29 times with a minor male after midnight, visited a Christian school with said male 81 times, moved her 16 year old male friend into her house, and perhaps worst of all, Lindsay was seen smoking with the neophyte follower of the Nazarean. What does Roberts say about all of this?

As you can see from her quote, Lindsay denies any sexual shenanigans with any MAN outside of her marriage. However, I don’t see where she denies having sex outside of her marriage with a BOY!! Do I sense some New Testament Tightrope-Walking through the Garden of Eden in her statement? Is it possible that she is guilty of statutory salvation!!? The truth is drawing nigh my friends, and God’s justice is infinite.

I find stories such as this one funnier than hell because it exposes “anointed religious leaders” for what they are. In this case, a free spending bible beating boy jockey. I do feel sorry for her husband Richard. I mean, obviously he no longer has any miracles left in his staff, but his sacramental shortcomings need not be exposed to the world, through Lindsay’s lust.

Bagwine Ruminations will continue to cover this story and hopefully uncover the truth by asking the tough questions. Questions such as, “Did Lindsay blow her chance for eternal salvation?”, and more importantly, “Does she enjoy being whipped with a Bible Belt?” Stay tuned….

Enjoy your Sunday folks. May your God go with you and as always, Cheers!!

P.S. I want to thank the Tulsa World and especially Mo’Kelly. Mo’Kelly is a Nationally Syndicated Blogger, and fellow stone caster who gave Bagwine Ruminations a nice shot of PR this week which resulted in quite a few hits on this subject. Check out Mo’Kelly’s site by clicking HERE.