Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Matt-Man's Winter Wonderland

There are many different joys that I experience during the Christmas Season, none more profound and satisfying as enjoying playing in a Winter Wonderland. I would like to share with you this brief musical interlude that descibes that feeling.

This rendention of Winter Wonderland is dedicated to Odat (link here) who has awarded me a Pajama Award because I make her feel warm and fuzzy, especially when I am wearing my red robe. So to Odat and all of you...Please enjoy me singing my version of Winter Wonderland...


Cheers!!


Snow’s been fallin’ quite a while’n
The Mailman’s here now I’m smilin’
He brought my copy of “Screw”
The Christmas issue
Strokin’ in a Winter Wonderland

My balls are screamin’ are ya listenin’
And my tally whacker’s glistenin’
But my magazine came
Now I’ll do the same
Strokin’ in a Winter Wonderland

In my bedroom I’ll be slapping Spanky
Eyeing naked girls on every page
The layout of the five chicks in the manger
Makes every minute seem like Christmas Day

When I’m done, I’ll start over
As I lay on the covers
Play with my boys in my bed
Unlike toys, there’s no lead
Strokin’ in a Winter Wonderland

34 comments:

Cinnamon Girl said...

CLASSIC!

Schmoop said...

Starr: Why Thank You!! Who knew that autobiographical info could make for such a good X-Mas song. Cheers!!

Cinnamon Girl said...

The usage of "glistening" alone is pulitzer worthy! Or Pull-it- zer worthy :P

Schmoop said...

Starr: Bada Bing!!

Odat said...

Matt, I can't tell you how honored I am for the dedication...(I just can't tell Mom about this one!)
Peace

Real Live Lesbian said...

Absolute perfection!

The dangly earring is just icing!

Schmoop said...

Odat: Thanks for the honor. And tell your Mom to lighten up, it's the holidays. Cheers!!

Real: That is the first time I have ever heard "dangly" and "perfection" while referring to me. Cheers!!

Angell said...

Matt-Man, you ARE my hero.

SMOOCHES honey - tell Schmoop to plant a huge one on ya for me.

Schmoop said...

Angell: Ha...Thanks. I'll pass your request on to Schmoop. Cheers!!

katherine. said...

first let me say that your performance level increases with every offering...you were totally rocking out.

I was a wee bit distracted with the way your robe didn't quite meet in front.

(No lead in your pencil?)

a personal thanks for posting the lyrics again...

Schmoop said...

Kat: Other than right at the end I felt in good voice...I had my robe completely shut but the beast in me longed to be set free. Pencil is just fine...maybe too fine.

I would have posted the lyrics on yesterday's tune but it was just too damn long. Have I covered everything? Cheers!!

Anndi said...

XXX-Mas song eh? I'm going to regret watching this when I get home I just know it...

Laura said...

Very, er, touching, Matt-Man! Are you sure about the lead? Have you had a test? Maybe send in one of the pages after you put a sample on and they'll tell you what kind of heavy metals you have floating around!

Schmoop said...

Anndi: You won't regret it...It will make you HOT!!

Laura: From the smell of my discharge I think it smells more like a combination of mercury and tungsten. No Lead....Cheers!!

jillie said...

Now everytime I hear the "original" Winter Wonderland this holiday season, I am going to crack up.

How do you keep straight face while doing this??? OMG!

;o) bottoms up to ya Matt!

Schmoop said...

Jillie: How do I keep a straight face? Easy...I was being serious. Cheers!!

Vinny "Bond" Marini said...

Well if Anndi is not going to regret it, i surely will

Lee Ann aka Dixie said...

*tears streaming down my face* BUWHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAAAAAA

Absolutely, positivley laughing my ass off here at work. Oh god.... BUWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAAAA

cathy said...

And then there was matt, if I become too sporadic you will know I have died. If I'm visiting you at the time of my demise at least I will die laughing.

Cheers matt you help to keep me smiling.

cathy said...

And then there was matt, if I become too sporadic you will know I have died. If I'm visiting you at the time of my demise at least I will die laughing.

Cheers matt you help to keep me smiling.

cathy said...

sheesh just checked comments on 2 of your older posts were I thought I had posted and ...nothing.

came back here to check this one and I've done a double sorry about that.

Schmoop said...

Bond: That's so unlike you to regret anything...Cheers!!

Dixie: I'm glad I could, if only for a minute, brighten your work day.

Cathy: Glad to know that you are laughing. I'm sorry that blogger is messin with ya. Cheers!!

Jeff B said...

That was a 'stroke' of brilliance.

Schmoop said...

Jeff: Bada Bing...You are so punny Jeff. Cheers!!

Julie said...

Well...I must say now I am really pissed! Yeah PISSED I say! I've been pissed all day cuz my speakers aren't working right and now I think my world may come to an end! I finally make my way to the Bagwine zone and grrrrrr!!!!

Should I give you phone number so you can sing to me?

**very large husband leers at screen**

Marilyn said...

I like when you post the lyrics so I don't have to wait half the day and load the video to hear them... though I do miss out on your performance this way. I didn't really want to explain what a tally whacker is to the kiddo anyway.

RW said...

Matt's winding his watch! Have a good one!

Travis Cody said...

Your cleverness appears to know no bounds.

Vinny "Bond" Marini said...

OK, I returned like MacArthur and you are one brilliant muthaf**ker...the jazz intonations were perfect

none said...

I bet that would be great for caroling.

Schmoop said...

Julie: We need not disrupt the good tidings with an ill-advised phone call. Cheers!!

Marilyn: You could have just told her that it is the belt that holds my robe up. Cheers!!

Roger: Damn straight. Cheers!!

Travis: Why thank you Travis. Cheers!!

Bond: Thanks...Just call me Ella Mattzgerald. Cheers!!

Hammer: It would indeed. Good to see you up and around again. Cheers!!

Liz Hill said...

The DH is completely and utterly appalled.

Thank you ;-)

Schmoop said...

TB: That's because it hits too close to home and he is actually moved. Cheers!!

Desert Songbird said...

I am stunned and amazed. Your imagination knows no boundaries, does it?