Gettin' Jiggy With The Crazies

As one who likes to help out those less fortunate than me (although finding those less fortunate than me is getting harder to do), I am offering up my blog today to a few clients from our town’s newly opened Mental Health facility, Krazy Kare. As part of it’s Grand Opening, Krazy Kare is holding a dance/fundraiser where community members can donate and spend the evening literally tripping the light fantastic with a patient.

The owner, Dr. James Jones has asked me to post pictures and brief statements of those patients who have yet to be chosen as a date for the night. I was more than happy to help enable the patients to experience a therapeutic night of dancing and escape, albeit for only a couple of hours, from their normally fucked up lives. So, if you have a heart and want to help, consider donating and dancing with one of the following people of need…



HI…I WANNA DANCE. PLEASE!!? I ATE A LEPER ONCE AND MY INSIDES FELL OUT. IF WE DANCE, DON’T STEP ON MY FOOT, ‘CAUSE THAT’S WHERE I KEEP MY PANCREAS. IF THE MUSIC STOPS, WE CAN KEEP ON DANCING BECAUSE THE GOVERNMENT SHOVED AN IPOD IN MY HEAD RIGHT AFTER I SURVIVED THE SINKING OF THE LUSITANIA BY FLOATING ATOP A VERY ACCOMMODATING GIANT SEA CUCUMBER.




Hi Fellas (and Ladies ; ). I am ready to tear up the ballroom floor. I need to feel a firm body against mine. I haven’t felt a body against mine since I dug up Richard Nixon’s corpse and spent the night licking his decaying clavicle. We will get along just fine unless you mention Muslims or Jews, in which case I’ll have to poke your right eye out with my Adam’s Apple.




Good day Ladies…My name is Roderick P. Whitworth. I’m an incredibly wealthy mutual fund manager. I have graceful moves and am always a gentleman. I am a graduate of Harvard Business School, and own six houses on three different continents. I like to cook, clean, and write poetry. I humbly hope you have the time for a waltz or two with me. Thank you.




Gauphin boo banger ringo. E=MC2...I=MC Hammer….Can’t Touch This!! Yes, please do touch this, no wait…Gronnnnnnnk, birdie doo birdie doooo. Castor Oil is nothing more than a cognizant pigeon. All Clear, All Clear…Pineapples make great policemen. Gotta go, my lighthouse is crying.






Ladies, Roderick P. Whitworth here again. My dead mother smashed a chair over my head and told me to fess up. I am NOT a wealthy mutual fund manager; I am a lawyer…A lawyer from a futuristic society ruled by Zodor the Magnificent………Also, I eat my own feces and frequently masturbate to pictures of Oliver Cromwell. I hope this new information does not dissuade you from cutting the rug with me. Thank You.


These people need your help, please make it happen for them. Cheers!!